name changed.
Dd 8 has a friend, let’s call her Lily (not real name).
for a while Lily attended a regular sports club, she asked Dd to go a few times but Dd was not bothered and struggles to say no to her friend but I told Lily she didn’t want to go, she’s not overly sporty and has some joint issues so not always confident. Personally I didn’t think the sport was suitable as she needs low impact activities.
anyway all of a sudden DD wanted to start the club which was fine if she wanted to try but I discovered that Lily was pressuring Dd to go saying she won’t go anymore unless my DD attends, it then went onto her mum trying to persuade DD to go as she said Lily wouldn’t go anymore. It was like they were using DD to try get Lily to carry on with it and said that she’d take my DD as she was going anyway. But dd wanted to try it which was fine.
I told the mum I would struggle to take her/them on that day myself for various reasons and she said it’s fine she’ll take Dd.
fast forward she took DD one week, DD actually enjoyed it and dd said she wanted to go again.
it was cancelled one week and the next time she asked if I could take them. I said sorry no my partner was at work that day , it was a school day, my son has a severe disability and by the time he got back from school (minibus) it would be a push (do-able but a massive rush) and tbh I didn’t want to take ds, he might become overwhelmed. She was fully aware I could not take them. i reminded her that she said she’d take them. I fit any clubs for dd around my partners work hours so one of us will take her and the other stay home with ds or she will do within school clubs.
Anyway , she decided not to speak to me for 2 weeks because I wouldn’t take them and she wanted a break from taking her dd.
I feel like I’ve been used for one trying to get Lily to keep going by using DD, 2 to take them which I never agreed to.
she’s now saying Lily is taking another friend and they are gona alternate weeks. It’s not like at any point I said that I could take them.
dd is upset. Although she is not overly bothered by the club itself and isn’t fussed on going - we are gonna sign her up for something else at the weekend she’ll enjoy and trying to get her into a swimming club (which she loves) , but she’s upset that she feels like she’s been pushed aside. The other day Lily’s mum said to dd if you want to come you’ll mum will have to bring you as we go with someone else now.
am I just over thinking this? I don’t think I’m the problem when I never said I’d take them at any point. That day and time, mixed in with my son is not suitable.
i am kinda relieved. I don’t think dd was fussed anyway, there was tears afterwards. Dd has additional needs and she struggles to say no to people and felt pressurised to go. I was very similar as a child and I’m trying to build her confidence.