How to be more proactive

[hollydolly252]

I annoy myself so much with how I am as a person. And I know I'm the only one who can change things but I genuinely don't know how.

There are so many things I want to do and achieve. Places I want to visit. Books I want to read. Lifestyle changes I want to make (exercise more, eat better). I want to learn new skills and batch cook meals and declutter/clean more often. I know all of these things would make me happier and enhance my life. But I just don't do them. I don't know why. I just don't. Im the least motivated and driven person I know and it depresses me.

I do have quite severe anxiety that holds me back from going to new places but the rest I have no excuse for.

How do I change things when I can't even seem to change my lazy, procrastinating personality? I'm nearly 40 and feel like I've wasted years being idle and stagnant letting life pass me by. It's like I'm in a permanent rut. I want to go on holiday but I can't even get the motivation to arrange passports for the kids. Everything seems like too much faff and trouble. Is anyone else like this?

It's easy to fall into a rut like this but I think the only way to tackle these things is by taking baby steps. Break things down and acknowledge your achievements when you've done so - for example.

1. Go and get the passport forms.
2. Fill them in
3. Get the photos done
4. Get counter-signature
5. Check everything again
6. Process

Each step is an achievement in itself - start with the passports and thats a big job out of the way.

And the cure for anxiety is to do the thing you're anxious about.

Agree baby steps.

Definitely start with the passports.

Ive just bought Atomic habits which is all about tiny changes in your life to make permanent ones

Ive just bought Atomic habits which is all about tiny changes in your life to make permanent ones

Thats funny, i've been listening to a few podcasts that basically teach the same thing. Make tiny changes - it all adds up in the end.

I think Atomic habits is quite inspiring ( I listened to the audio book) - I could do with a listen again myself as I’ve fallen behind on my goals this year. There are apps that you can get for habit tracking or old school planners if you like paper and pen. ( kill at least 2 hours perusing those) I’d probably start with a couple of small habits - each from a category of change that you want to see - drink a glass of water, or spend 10 minutes tidying, start a folder of recipes for batch cooking etc. Start small and build up.