Lonely at 43

[Bedhead22]

Seem to have lost some friendships along the way I always felt we would work out but they just disappeared

have a crap family Who don’t bother

single mum

last ten years my mental health suffered so I threw myself into work and looking after dc

now I’m where I want to be career wise but it took so much hard work with wither pressures that I feel I don’t have a social life or even a friend group anymore
can I fix this at this age or is it too late ?
i keep thinking I must have been terrible to lose 3 significant friendships from when I was younger
I have one friend who is like family to me and I miss that feeling of someone mnowing you
I have so many regrets I wish I’d just kept my mouth shut or made different decisions maybe then they wouldn’t have gone

You don't mention if you've fallen out or if the friendship fizzled out because of your life being busy. But in essence it doesn't matter, unless you have been excplicitly horrible to them. Reach out. I was ghosted by a very close friend back in my mid twenties (I had no idea why, she was going through a very tough time and she just stopped messaging/answering my calls). Years later (aprox 3 years ago) we got back in contact, she apologised, aknowledged she treated me poorly and I had done nothing wrong (she never really explained why she disappeared and I never asked). She was too embarassed to reach out for many years and the only reason she did is because I heard she was in the UK (we are both from abroad and have moved here for work) and found and looked at her profile on linked in, she then sent me a connection request and as soon as I accepted she messaged. Sometimes people fall out/drift away but if you miss them reach out! You never know where it might lead!

I agree with zusje, I know two friends who were like sisters and fell out hard but about 7 or so years later they got back in touch and now all roses 🌹
It’s definitely worth a go, I bet they miss you too

My three closest university friends are geographically scattered and and we definitely drifted apart in our 30’s, we were all consumed with our families and professional lives.

We still wished each other Happy Christmas and then someone proposed a WhatsApp group so we started texting regularly and making an effort to meet up when possible. I think the pandemic also made us realize that we should make an effort as you never know what’s around the corner, IYSWIM.

Earlier this year, I saw one of them in person for the first time in 10 years! Three hours of nonstop talking later, it was as if we’d seen each other last week.😂

We’re now trying to plan a multi-family holiday together-we might not manage it for a couple of years, but that shows how much the group has reconnected.

As a PP said, if it’s a case of drifting apart, try to contact your old friends through SM and see what happens.

Okw of them I really miss but we fell out I think we were both wrong I was suffering from pnd she couldn’t have a baby and we were both in shitty controlling relationships. But in her eyes I dd something wrong and was friends with someone she hated. She’s blocked me and ignores me if I see her.

i feel out with friend 2 because she was quite horrid when I was pregnant and people used to regularly say she was slagging me off behind my back and friend 3 was really rude to my child. But these were women I really close too. Other people don’t seem to have these issues so maybe it’s my fault or or I made too big a deal
I’d give anything to have a friend I could just pop round in again but I don’t

That’s sad. It’s not too late , of course. Volunteer somewhere, surefire way to make friends

I'm in the same position OP. My 3 little friendship groups have all collapsed in recent years. I was the only one trying to keep them together but eventually got the hint and gave up.

I feel a bit lost not. Just wanted to say you're not alone in feeling alone.

I could have written this @Bedhead22 my heart goes out to you. I’m 43 and have no friends. I have never been so lonely. I had one friend for a number of years who manipulated me and made me fall
out with a number of my other friends and then she ghosted me a few years ago. I still had some friends but then Covid happened and all my relationships drifted. I am very introverted and I don’t know what to do. I also work fully remote since Covid and it is extremely isolating. I am trying to build my confidence and get a job locally and hopefully build some work friendships. I came to the realisation that the said friend who ghosted me was having some deep mental health problems and I am trying to not blame myself for her ghosting but I still am so hurt by it. I used to do so much for her and now see how I was completed used and I realise I am quite vulnerable in that respect. My support was always from my sister and mum but recently I found some things out and they are not the people I thought they were, it is so depressing I don’t know where to turn. Big hugs 🌸

I am the same age, single Mum, stressful career.

Got fed up with my lack of social life about a year ago. I joined two Meetup groups and now I have a raft of new friends and activities booked for every weekend for the foreseeable future.

It’s never too late to meet new people.