To worry what DD may do

[Mumsglum]

My younger DD got her first job a year ago, one that other people would kill for and which has a clear career-path progression.
She's living in London (the rest of the family, including me, lives in another country, which she doesn't want to come back to). She has a nice flatmate, bf, and she WFH three days a week.
She's working in the field she did her degree in, after changing from another subject. Just a couple of weeks ago she was talking about possibly doing another degree in the field she's working in.
But now she's saying she hates "office jobs" and would like to be a tattoo artist!
I am horrified. I was thrilled by her landing this amazing job and she's doing really well at it.
She's very stubborn and I'm terrified that if I even say she will have more autonomy as she gets more senior; it's best to establish yourself and get a name and then maybe you could freelance/go back if you leave, she will decide to do the opposite on "principle."
Do I just keep quiet, or try to offer the benefit of experience without being judgmental—what?
She's too young to realise that decisions she makes now might end up affecting the rest of her life. I have major regrets over my own career but didn't have anyone at all to advise me.

Have you asked her what’s changed since she was talking about the degree?

She is an adult.

I'd express polite acknowledgement and leave her to it. She may just be keen to provoke.

I think if she's going to try a different career then now's the time to do it :) she's young and that's the time to try different things. She should go for it! Do what she enjoys. There is a lot of time for her to settle down into something more boring if that's what she wants to do later on. Leave her be :)

I think in your shoes I would be open about the fact I had regrets about my own career decisions and see whether that invites her to ask you questions. Yes, the decisions she makes now will inevitably affect her future career, but not necessarily in a negative way. I think asking lots of open questions about what she's thinking careerwise is the best move. Try to pinpoint what it is she feels she's missing right now and what she thinks being a tattoo artist would give her that she's not getting right now.

Does she mean it? Sometimes after a particularly stressful work week, I say I'd like to jack it all in, move to a Greek Island and open a little cafe/bistro. I'm not actually going to do it.
If she does just try and have open non judgemental conversations, hopefully she'll see that tattooing is hard work, unsocial hours and unlikely to be as much of a stable income, but she needs to come to that decision herself.

As a tattooist, it’s a dream job for some (me included) but getting into the industry can be tough especially if she has bills to pay (I started my apprenticeship when I lived with my parents which helped as I wasn’t paid at all but had no overheads and bills). I’d support her in whatever she wants, better to have a job she’s passionate even if it isn’t as ‘prestigious’ if that makes sense. Not everyone wants to climb an office job career ladder and I guess you don’t know until you’ve worked in that area for a bit!

Well something has clearly triggered the desire to change - have you tried asking her what's drive this change of heart? Maybe she's struggling doing the job or having a realisation that it was never the path she wished to follow? My husband always wanted to become a mechanic ir similar but got a degree to keep his parents happy and off his back, fell into a job, built a career which enables a lifestyle he's happy with, in a job area that he's not. If he could go back, he'd do as he wanted all along. Despite my encouragement now, he feels he's picked his road. If she's started her career and realised it's not for her, now is the best possible time to change direction!

I think I would keep quiet - unless she asked me advice.
Then I would be honest- but about the situation generally eg good office job w Progression v Tattoo artist.
How much tattooing experience does she have? Is she a highly talented artist at drawing anyway, spending all her free time practicing her drawing?

Thank you, all.
She is a talented artist and works on her own art outside of office hours.
As I mentioned, a big part of this is that I wandered into a career I wouldn't have chosen if I'd known more about it/had advice from my parents about thinking ahead, prospects for salary increases, promotions etc.
But it's really difficult to discuss certain topics with her as she shuts down at any hint of what she feels is criticism or disagreement, which can be caused even by an honest question (although she's slowly learning to be a bit more open).
I do worry about her trying to start any kind of more or less freelance work so soon before anyone knows her for anything.
Also I changed my own plans for several years to ensure I made enough to pay her university fees (and she went to university in the UK so counted as an overseas student and hence the fees were higher). So it's a bit of a blow to think perhaps that was a wasted sacrifice.
Also, not being Gen Whatever she is, it seems possibly a bit entitled if she expects complete job satisfaction immediately in a field where you need to start at the bottom and work your way up by proving yourself.

prospects for salary increases, promotions etc.

That may not be what she is looking for from her career though.

Hmm I wonder if you could ask her where there are any mentor/coaching programmes in her industry. She might take sound advice from someone else.

Which is fine, but she also has to support herself.

I'd make it clear that the bank of mum and dad is now closed, so any radical career changes need to be made with eyes wide open.

Would she be able able to stay in the country if she changes job? Ie was she sponsored? Is it a graduate training scheme?

It sounds like your DD may be shut off to your opinions because you've been a helicopter parent in the past. I can't imagine that this is the first time you've tried to steer DD based on your own experiences. My FIL is the same and as a result my DH is often closed off to outside opinions. You become numb to it as there's only so much 'friendly' feedback you can take.

You need to let your DD make her own way. She can always come back to her original career if she chooses.

When I was 19 I got an amazing job at a very large insurance company. Although my dream was to play football in America, I was using the job to be able to save up enough to be able to go.

My parents always told me what a huge mistake I was making and I'd never get a job like that again.

I followed my dream and had the best time of my life, got my degree and now I own my own business making very good money. I often wonder how different my life would have been had I taken my parents advice.

Support your daughter in whatever she would like to do. I'm 36 now but I've never forgotten those words from my parents and the lack of belief they had in me although I know they meant well.

Sounds kime she was pushed down a route she followed to please you and now she is having the regrets you had about your own career in the same way because she did what you wanted rather than what she wanted.

I’d be saying that I’m so proud of her and she should absolutely follow her dream - in an affordable way as you can’t help financially.

I’d be suggesting doing the tattoo apprenticeship while she keeps the day job as she needs to pay the bills as you don’t have spare cash to support her.

if she could earn enough doing a part time three or four days a week day job and tattoo job the other day or two days a week would that be a possibility?

Or compressed hours ie working full time hours across only four days so you start early and finish later but have a day off to do tattooing?

Or do tattooing on Saturdays?

Oh and once the tattoooing is paying it’s way she can chuck the day job.

I would support her. You basically have to work your whole life so it's great if that's something you love and are passionate about, often it's not. If she's found something she's going to love doing i'd encourage it. Make sure she's sensible and as others have said if she can keep her job and get an apprenticeship or find another job that would fit around an apprenticeship then that way she can still support herself whilst she gets trained and established.