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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell you all my grandma's words of wisdom...

18 replies

Throwawaynames · 23/04/2023 19:00

" He will cheat eventually they all do"

My grandma is 80 years old and this was her response to my husband going shopping for us.

We were at her house and Aldi is just around the corner and we have two DC ( 2 and 6 months) and he said he'd nip to the shop to get the shopping done whilst I finish my brew at hers.

She commented by saying how lovely he is, how he does the shopping and cooking (50/50), looks after the children and is a good man whilst some men don't do anything but don't be fooled because in the next 10 to 20 years he'll cheat on me. He'll be sick of the kids, the house, life whatever and he absolutely will cheat on me but not to worry as that is in the future.

I finished my brew pretty quickly.

What are MN thoughts on this?

I'd like to think he wouldn't but I'm realistic and I understand people and relationships change but wouldn't want to make a sweeping statement like this.

OP posts:
moonspiral · 23/04/2023 19:00

Wow what a downer

WhyCantYourPartnerDoIt · 23/04/2023 19:03

80 year olds can be bitter and wrong as much as anyone else.

user1477255159 · 23/04/2023 19:04

If he's from my tribe or home country I'll say she's very likely right but if she's from my DH's country I'll say she's very likely wrong.

5128gap · 23/04/2023 19:08

She's old school. She can't conceive that a man being 'put upon' with domestics would put up with it long term. She thinks he's a good catch and will be tempted to an easier life. On one hand it's nonsense, as people cheat or don't for various reasons, which are not apparent to an observer so she can't 'predict' it. On the other hand, she has been around a long time so will know that a lot of men cheat. Where she's wrong is that there isn't a correlation between how 'good' he is at shopping etc and his likelihood of straying.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/04/2023 19:13

She sounds lovely.

Original poster
Throwawaynames · 23/04/2023 19:14

@5128gap that's what I was thinking however her ex husband and even my granddad did nothing around the house or with the kids. They were very typical men of that time (if that's a thing, I'm sure some men helped) and they still cheated on her but as she says men are idiots and only think with their downstairs.

OP posts:
WeWereInParis · 23/04/2023 19:16

What are MN thoughts on this?

Honestly, I think she sounds unpleasant.

ItsCalledAConversation · 23/04/2023 19:17

My thoughts are Granny needs to take her tablets and keep her trap shut.

PonyPatter44 · 23/04/2023 19:17

Poor old Grandma. It's a shame that she never got treated well by a thoroughly decent man, and thus developed these views. She's wrong but she's your Grandma and presumably you love her. I would just keep telling her things are different these days, he's a good man and you love him, and she should be happy for you. At the end of the day, its you in the relationship, not her.

Original poster
Throwawaynames · 23/04/2023 19:18

She's definitely not everyone's cup of tea. I'd like to say her opinions and personality are of that generation but I wouldn't want to generalise.

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 23/04/2023 19:18

The brutal reality is that an awful lot of men do cheat. That doesn’t mean your DH will by there’s a lot of truth in what she says and there’s absolutely no way to tell which ones won’t and which ones will.

Theres not much you can do about this and no point worrying about it, other than to make sure you have your own income.

reliefeo · 23/04/2023 19:20

OP try not to dwell on those words from your grandmother- I think sometimes older people can be very strident in their views which - like any person of any age - can be wrong!

there are many many men who
dont cheat just as there are many women who do. There is no gender pre disposition to cheating - it’s an individual choice.

user1473878824 · 23/04/2023 19:22

Throwawaynames · 23/04/2023 19:18

She's definitely not everyone's cup of tea. I'd like to say her opinions and personality are of that generation but I wouldn't want to generalise.

Then don’t generalise about men on her sweeping pronouncements either Op!

Original poster
Throwawaynames · 23/04/2023 19:24

@user1473878824 I'm not. Sorry if that wasn't clear in the OP.

I echo what others have said that obviously not all men/women cheat. Some do, some don't for many different reasons.

It was a bit comical she was just like "He's a very lovely man. He's going to cheat eventually". Like grandma, you could have just stopped at lovely man Grin

I do feel a sad for her though, she's been alone for almost 30 years and hasn't had the best past so I can appreciate where her ideas come from.

OP posts:
Sissynova · 23/04/2023 19:26

Of course all men don’t cheat.

AlexisR · 23/04/2023 19:28

These aren't words of wisdom, they are words of a bitter old person. Obviously she is wrong because not everybody cheats.

Luredbyapomegranate · 23/04/2023 19:30

Just cos someone is old doesn’t make them wise

LightDrizzle · 23/04/2023 19:30

😂😂😂
I think I need to adopt “they only think with their downstairs”

Honestly, she’s not Mystic Meg OP. I’d save it to regale my DH and my friends but otherwise not give it a second thought.

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