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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Divorce process

7 replies

Maisydaisy56 · 23/04/2023 18:08

Hi. I started my divorce in April last year. It was one of the new no fault divorces which can't be contested and is reportedly over in approx 9 months.

We went through the first 26(?) weeks and then I was able to apply for the conditional order. I did this and received an email to say I'd hear of a court date by 10 January 2023. I didn't get the email so called to ask what was happening when they told me that because his email address was similar to mine they had asked him to phone to confirm it was his. I explained that he would never do this - he is controlling and a bully and this will be a way of stopping the divorce.

Since then I've heard nothing and the updates I ask for occasionally don't tell me anything.

Im curious as to why, when it can't be contested, did they delay things because he wouldn't reply to them. If anyone has similar experiences I'd love to hear them.

Secondly is anyone else experiencing such huge delays? I don't want to remarry so there's no rush in that way but he's a bully and I won't feel safe until he's out of my life.

OP posts:
peanutbutterkid · 23/04/2023 18:14

dunno but am curious what happens.

Lostmum2407 · 24/04/2023 12:34

Sounds like a nightmare! Also sounds like he’s clinging onto being able to control you. Is there nothing else you can do? Surely your solicitor can get things moving or are you doing this without one?

My divorce began a year ago too. My husband will not allow me 50% of our assets even though we equally contributed to everything and had similar paid jobs. I’m losing the will to live. Currently looking for a mediator as I have to go to court now which is silly as I will get 50% and it’ll cost us thousands to go to court. I don’t know how much more I can take.

If you don’t have a solicitor then I strongly advise you to get one or your divorce may go on for years!

Greensleevevssnotnose · 24/04/2023 12:37

Lostmum2407 · 24/04/2023 12:34

Sounds like a nightmare! Also sounds like he’s clinging onto being able to control you. Is there nothing else you can do? Surely your solicitor can get things moving or are you doing this without one?

My divorce began a year ago too. My husband will not allow me 50% of our assets even though we equally contributed to everything and had similar paid jobs. I’m losing the will to live. Currently looking for a mediator as I have to go to court now which is silly as I will get 50% and it’ll cost us thousands to go to court. I don’t know how much more I can take.

If you don’t have a solicitor then I strongly advise you to get one or your divorce may go on for years!

My ex did this too, but the judge ruled he was being a dick ( (can't remember the legal term) and he had to pay my fees from his settlement and I got 70\30 so it's not necessarily a bad thing

cadburyegg · 24/04/2023 12:40

Do you have a solicitor?

I'm currently going through a divorce (but not as far along in the process) and my solicitor said that if my stbxh doesn't respond then it should still advance

Maisydaisy56 · 24/04/2023 14:56

cadburyegg · 24/04/2023 12:40

Do you have a solicitor?

I'm currently going through a divorce (but not as far along in the process) and my solicitor said that if my stbxh doesn't respond then it should still advance

I was advised (by a solicitor!) that I don't need a solicitor for the new style divorce. We sold up and split the money over 18 months ago and our children are grown up.
I'm pleased to read that things can progress anyway - also seen on an earlier comment

OP posts:
peanutbutterkid · 24/04/2023 17:54

You don't need a solicitor if it's truly amicable & you have simple finances.
If he's not doing his paperwork, then cooperation has broken down.
I also agree about seeing a solicitor at this point.

Maisydaisy56 · 11/05/2023 13:22

Update. The courts have said that unless he provides photo ID and emails to confirm his email address the divorce won't go ahead. He's refused to do that so I've just instructed a solicitor. Why does he have to exert power right to the end - our whole marriage was like that! Thanks for all your advice folks and there was I thinking the new style divorces could go ahead on the wishes of just one partner

OP posts:
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