What are your views on this?

HelpUs123 · 2023-04-23T14:31:29+00:00

If a man and a woman lives together and has two under two children. The woman works three days a week and the man does not. If the woman works Mon-Weds the man will not go out during this time. The man leaves on Wednesday night and comes back Thursday afternoon. He has slept somewhere else that isn’t his house. What are your views on this? If possible, please can you include whether you’re a man or woman. Thank you!

MelchiorsMistress · 23/04/2023 15:34

Way more information needed here.

Is the woman really earning enough in three days to support a family of four, and if not, why aren’t they working more?

Nimbostratus100 · 23/04/2023 15:35

I have no opinion on this. Can you explain what the question is please?

Chewmeric · 23/04/2023 15:39

Does the woman have any say in their life at all or does she endure what the man wants?

CombatBarbie · 23/04/2023 15:40

I'm assuming the man leaving is so that the mother can claim as a single parent

CoconutQueen · 23/04/2023 15:40

Tell us the whole story, OP

IrregularChoiceFan · 23/04/2023 15:40

I have no opinion on this

33/F/UK 🤣

foulksmills · 23/04/2023 15:42

My opinion on this is that I don't have a clue what is going on.

I am a human female woman, for context.

KnickerlessParsons · 23/04/2023 15:43

•Where does the man go?
•Are the man and the woman in a relationship?
•Are the children the children of both the man and the woman?
•Why doesn't the man work? Is he a SAHF?
•Why doesn't the woman work full time?
•What income does the family live off?
•Etc.

KnickerlessParsons · 23/04/2023 15:44

Woman of indeterminate gender

NotTheOtherMother · 23/04/2023 15:44

So he goes out on Wednesday and she doesn't hear from him all day until he returns on Thursday?

Is this every week? Is he working during this time or out on the piss/pretending he is single? Does he work on other days?

greenspaces4peace · 23/04/2023 15:45

Sleeping/overnighting elsewhere when in a relationship is generally unacceptable.
working is not the same as going out for enjoyment, although the social aspect of work is valuable.
my views are the relationship whatever it is is dysfunctional.
female.

Gymmum82 · 23/04/2023 15:45

where is he staying? Why doesn’t he have a job? How can one person support a family of 4 on 3 days work? So many many questions

RoxanaRoxana · 23/04/2023 15:59

Depends if he’s going to care for his elderly mother with his wife’s full knowledge, or to stay with his secret family 🤷‍♀️

Eggseggseverywhere · 23/04/2023 16:02

If the man identifies as an ironing board just shove him in a corner and go about your day...

Original poster

HelpUs123 · 23/04/2023 18:59

Apologies! I only have information related to this exact question so I may not to be answer everything.

Is it a relationship?
Difficult to answer. The woman wants to be together but the man tells her it isn’t a relationship.

How can she support the family?
The woman claims UC as a single parent. He only stays over on the days that she has work the next day.

Does he work?
He doesn’t work.

As unclear as the question may be. The question was posted to get an understanding of what peoples views are on a man who leaves the house once or twice a week to go ‘out’ without an explanation

OP posts:

Original poster

HelpUs123 · 23/04/2023 19:01

greenspaces4peace · 23/04/2023 15:45

Sleeping/overnighting elsewhere when in a relationship is generally unacceptable.
working is not the same as going out for enjoyment, although the social aspect of work is valuable.
my views are the relationship whatever it is is dysfunctional.
female.

Thank you for this. Dysfunctional indeed!

OP posts:

Original poster

HelpUs123 · 23/04/2023 19:01

RoxanaRoxana · 23/04/2023 15:59

Depends if he’s going to care for his elderly mother with his wife’s full knowledge, or to stay with his secret family 🤷‍♀️

I agree with you!

OP posts:

Nimbostratus100 · 23/04/2023 19:03

they are not in a relationship, so what does it matter? This is a non question

Nimbostratus100 · 23/04/2023 19:03

HelpUs123 · 23/04/2023 18:59

Apologies! I only have information related to this exact question so I may not to be answer everything.

Is it a relationship?
Difficult to answer. The woman wants to be together but the man tells her it isn’t a relationship.

How can she support the family?
The woman claims UC as a single parent. He only stays over on the days that she has work the next day.

Does he work?
He doesn’t work.

As unclear as the question may be. The question was posted to get an understanding of what peoples views are on a man who leaves the house once or twice a week to go ‘out’ without an explanation

it isn't "difficult to answer" if they are in a relationship - they are not.

zusje · 23/04/2023 19:08

It sounds like the man gets free home and board and the woman gets free childcare on her working days. If it's an agreement that works for them both and assuming that if the relationship is sexual, steps are in place to protect both parties for STIS/unwanted pregnancy I would imagine it's up to the individual parties to decide if this is acceptable for them.

For me (F, almost 39) it wouldn't be, I want a partner and I'm assuming that if you're after strangers' opinions you aren't okay with it either.

Original poster

HelpUs123 · 23/04/2023 19:18

zusje · 23/04/2023 19:08

It sounds like the man gets free home and board and the woman gets free childcare on her working days. If it's an agreement that works for them both and assuming that if the relationship is sexual, steps are in place to protect both parties for STIS/unwanted pregnancy I would imagine it's up to the individual parties to decide if this is acceptable for them.

For me (F, almost 39) it wouldn't be, I want a partner and I'm assuming that if you're after strangers' opinions you aren't okay with it either.

Thanks so much for your opinion

OP posts:

DrManhattan · 23/04/2023 19:21

Are the kids his?
If he's out partying it's unfair but if he's working it's OK. Depending on the answer to the above the question I would be asking is why have two kids with a waster?

greenspaces4peace · 23/04/2023 20:16

thank you for the update @HelpUs123
indeed it may NOT be a romantic relationship but a childcare arrangement of convenience.
IF this is a business type child care arrangement then separate rooms, and clear boundaries on the love/lust/sexual aspect is necessary.
is there an exchange of money? does the childminder get paid, and if that person is staying within the home (like an au pair) do they pay a token amount for room and board.