To ask the attitude to change?

[Clementineorsatsuma]

In 2023 I'm still seeing that men should 'help' around the house, 'help' with their own children etc.
AIBU to find this archaic and ridiculous?
It's their home too. Their children too (and if a step parent then they have taken in an equal role).
As long as Society perpetuates these ideas they will remain in place, for goodness' sake.
Can we see "DH does his share" "DP and I have split the household and childcare tasks fairly"?
Please!

Yanbu but I'm not sure anyone else cares tbh

I think most women like being the default parent

I don't think you can dictate what language people choose to describe how it happens for them

Different people split things differently though. We have never done 50/50 splits - DH earns a lot more than I do because I wanted to go part time and really like part time work. I therefore do more round the house, it isn't split 50/50 because our time available to do it isn't equal. This is what makes sense for us as a family. I guess it's different if both parties work full time.

Most women want to be the default parent, I think. Some are martyrs about it.

People tell me I'm 'so lucky' to have DH, who does his fair share around the house and with DD.

But there's no luck involved, I chose him because he's the kind of guy to whom that is completely normal and expected.