AIBU-

[Nic1435]

My partner of nearly 8 years has asked me if
Id be willing to participate in a threesome? I'm so completely against this and explained to him everything on how I feel, how would he feel seeing this? I think this is completely awful thing to do unless in a singular situation.

We have a 3 year old together and I'm just extremely annoyed! He has had a few to drink but seems to mention only then.

Don't even know why I'm posting this so please be kind.

Is he cheating? I'd be suspicious and dump.

Say yes, you him and another man. When he refuses, ask him why it's fair for him to have 2 women but you can’t have 2 men.

@heartbroken22 I don't think so works mon -fri comes home after work I work weekends he has our boy! X

@pinkshoes87 I don't think I can say yes it doesn't sit right x

I think him wanting sex with a stranger in your home when your 3yo is there (presumably) is a huge red flag.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he is using sex workers or dogging or cheating.

Is this the first time he's mentioned it? Realistically it's a common fantasy for a lot of people, and I believe people should feel secure enough in their relationships to bring up sexual fantasies, even if your partner gives you a hard "no". I've talked about it with my husband, with the end result of those conversations being a no due to the potential damage it could do, but I get the fantasy.

If it's something he pesters about frequently I think it'd be more of a problem, but as a one off suggestion? It's ok to just say "no, not for me" and draw a line under it.

This is a common fantasy for most men and probably on their bucket list ... most are smart enough to do it before they get married. If you don't want to do it, don't. Like previous poster said, if he's pestering you about it tell him to stop, and ask of he'd be ok with MMF or for you to have sex with someone else and for him to just watch.

A friend of mine dumped her bloke for suggesting this. I don’t think she overreacted.

I’d be wondering if he was cheating or had someone in mind.
He comes home after work Monday to Friday? Lots of people cheat at work. He. Has your child on weekends whilst you work? All the time at weekends to phone/text etc another woman then? Could a woman be popping round when child is in bed?

It could just be a fantasy but seems odd to me, to bring it up after 8 years, you’d have thought you’d have been through fantasies etc by then?

Next time he’d had a drink or he brings it up I’d calmly ask him about it. Does he have someone in mind? It’s easy wanting a threesome but organising one isn’t usually quite as easy.

I don't think it's fair to just say 'dump him' etc just because he asked. I'd be surprised myself if my partner asked me but would want to know what makes him want to do that. I appreciate if he's pushing you then it's something else, and agree with suggestions of the second and third to last posters.

I know it's only a TV series, but watch the TV show Easy, episode Utopia - it explores exactly this topic in your situation.

Sorry I meant @BreviloquentBastard and @Jemandthehologramsunite posts I agree with.

There is nothing wrong discussing fantasies within a loving relationship. What would be wrong is to keep pushing when you have been told no.

Many men have this fantasy, and I believe many women fantasise or are curious about sex with another woman.

Both men and women fantasise about sex with someone who isn't their partner. It doesn't mean they are cheating, using sex workers or dogging.