Is this "nesting"? It's making me so depressed!

[elm26]

I'll be 35 weeks on Monday and since last week I've had this intense urge to clean EVERYTHING and it's making me tearful, snappy, irrational and in pain.

I'm a clean person and so is DH so our home is never dirty as such, gets a little messy sometimes (laundry piled up etc) normal stuff.

For the past week, nothing is clean enough. I'm noticing every single mark or little scuff on our walls, I've booked our sofas, carpet and oven to be professionally cleaned, if DH leaves a teaspoon in the sink it gives me the rage, if I could chuck everything out and start again I would. It's making me tearful and my depression seems to have hit a low again.

DH is working 7 day weeks for his company right now to get some additional savings behind us for when baby is here/wants to be able to take a few weeks off so I'm mostly here on my own. My pelvis and back are in bits from hoovering (we have a heavy shark hoover) every day. If I though we had the money to get the bathroom re-grouted I would, I've even been cleaning the inside hinges of cupboard doors with a cheap toothbrush because I'm noticing the slight discolouration around them.

If I had the energy to change the bedsheets every day I would even though we both shower or bath before bed.

My car has been cleaned once a week for the past 2 because I want EVERYTHING clean before she gets here and keep worrying she'll be here early.

I've just finished yet another clean and I'm crying because my lower back and pelvis hurt so much I can barely walk or sit down.

How do I control this/rationalise with myself?

DH is pulling more than his weight with working every day and cooking for us most days as by dinner time I'm exhausted and he never complains, he runs me baths and is emotionally there and I feel bad that I feel so angry that he's left a teaspoon in the sink or a pair of socks by the side of the bed 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm going insane please help 😩

Oh love YES this is nesting! I remember this stage so clearly!! I insisted on cleaning all the floors (entire downstairs is hardwood) on my hands and knees with antibac wipes because I didn't trust my mop! I replaced ALL our cutlery and crockery cos I couldn't bear having anything that was slightly scratched, I was obsessed to the point of manic about the house being 'perfect' when baby arrived. What I will say is... around 38 weeks it got better, and when I brought them home from hospital, it didn't matter at all and I didn't see mess/ dirt as intensely as I had before. Be kind to yourself, hormones are hard, pregnancy is hard, you're doing great!

Yes and I'd say be prepared you may go early!

I spent all day cleaning around the skirting boards and the next day I was in labour

My SIL painted her entire house while she waited for her DD to arrive (she was late luckily!).

I can't say I ever felt it although I did clean and tidy before DD2 came but that was more of a conscious decision to get on top of things before the baby arrived because I knew nothing would happen for weeks after she arrived. DS was premature so no cleaning had been done because I hadn't started maternity leave and while I was in hospital I was getting texts from my Mum telling me my fridge was a disgrace (house was spotless by the time we got home, she cleaned everything).

It was so weird. I didn't really believe in it until at about 37 weeks, I saw some dirt on my windows and climbed up the kitchen counters to clean the windows. And then the top of the cabinets and the skirting boards and all kinds of things that I have never cleaned since

Yep. With my first I suddenly got the urge to clean the tops of the cupboards at 38 weeks and to batch cook mince. I gave birth that evening

@Shuntsarentscary the not "trusting your mop" really made me laugh, I needed that.

It's obvious that DH thinks I've lost the plot but he just smiles sweetly and lets me get on with it, although he did have firm words about me lugging the hoover about every day.

He even tried to get my consultant to tell me I couldn't clean anymore as I have a low lying placenta but consultant said it's not low enough yet to be on pelvic rest unless I want to do that backfired on him 😂

The thing is, I know that it's not going to be perfect in here once she's arrived as we adjust to life with a newborn, yet I still can't rationalise!

We've only been here since January and I bought all new plates and cutlery so I'm not at that stage yet! Thank you for your kind words xx

@Hungrycaterpillarsmummy I'm meant to be having a C-section due to low lying placenta but I've just got it in my head I will go into labour naturally and early. I've thought it from the very beginning that I need to get everything sorted early ish because I won't make it to 40 weeks, no idea why it's been in my head for so long.

I was having back and stomach cramps for 2 days that I posted about a couple of days ago on here wondering if I was in labour, turns out they were painful braxton hicks.

The skirting boards as driving me mad and it's on my "to do" list for Monday 😵‍💫 thank you for making me feel more normal! Xx

Yep. This is nesting. For me it manifests as obsessive cooking and baking. I spent all of my due date making muffins without realising that my backache was actually early labour. I also ordered all the windows cleaned bexause for some reason the idea that my baby would come home to a house that wasn't getting 100% sunlight was intolerable.

My DBro has 3 DC and he says he always knew the baby would be there soon when he found his DW scrubbing the skirting boards.

@JaninaDuszejko if I thought I had the time and money, I'd have the whole place repainted too 🤦🏻‍♀️ it's such a strong urge!

Bless you, my fridge has been neglected although it gets a wipe down before each monthly shop goes in but that's also on my to do list. Feel like I'm losing it! DH thinks it's hilarious he keeps saying "she's not going to think get me a new Mum and Dad because there is a mark on the wall when she comes home" which is true but still 😅

@Theelephantinthecastle I was soooo happy to see the window cleaner on Friday morning! I could have cried that the they were being cleaned. Honestly I'm an absolute nut case right now. I still need to do insides (on to do list) and now you've made me want to check the top of my kitchen cabinets 😂 I will also never scrub the things I've scrubbed again, it's ridiculous I can't believe I'm scrubbing the hinges of cupboard doors!

@orangeflags oooh I don't have the cooking urge but that made me laugh, batch cooking mince 😂 I'd love for her to come in a couple of weeks. I'm so done with this emotional and physical rollercoaster that is pregnancy!

It's biological, take it easy on yourself!

I had insomnia at that stage and spent a good few nights cleaning / de cluttering things 2am-5am in a daze!

It's important to be gentle with yourself, no need to get wound up or judgemental. I took comfort from thinking well my hormones are doing what they should!

When I was pregnant, I had the urge to clean the bookshelves one night , cleared every shelf and then went to bed. That night, I went into labour! I came home to piles of books dh had stacked in the corner because he thought I was doing something with them. Suffice to say they were quickly put back on the shelves.

@TheNachtzehrer your lucky family having lots of baked goodies! My DH would love that. He comes home to eye watering levels of the smell of bleach and me sweating sitting on my yoga ball crying because I can't reach the tops of the doors to dust 😂

One of my DH customers actually said to him "if you come home and she's cleaning the skirting boards, make sure the hospital bags are packed!"

Weird how our minds/body does this! Funnily enough I mentioned the relief that my windows were cleaned in the week above 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Mochinated oh the insomnia 😩 I'm up 1-6 every single night without fail. If I could get away with doing bits without waking DH up I would but he's a light sleeper and is up at 5:30 every day for work so I have to sit on my hands or read a book instead 😂

@Bbq1 that made me laugh!

I keep looking at our unit in the living room and thinking I will pull the drawers and doors open and clear everything out!

Yep, I remember angry crying when the cats had to use the litter after I'd just cleaned it out and hoovered the floor 😂 totally irrational, but hormones during pregnancy (especially towards the end) are very real! I forced myself to be more relaxed after DC were born because you just don't have the time in the day to clean top to bottom and if you bottle feed get used to the sink being full!

Im back to being a clean freak again though as I know my youngest will be crawling all over the floors soon. Welcome to motherhood lol

Back in 1988 i was painting and wallpapering my new kitchen and went into labour. When it was almost done and few hours later, I refused to go to hospital until (in between contractions)i had climbed onto the sink work top to fit my new ultra fashionable 1980's style festoon blind . I wanted it perfect for coming home from hospital!!! Still remember that with a smile..

Yes it’s definitely nesting. I was the same. Had all the kitchen cupboards out. Cleaned and wiped. Put everything back in “Apple pie order.”
I had an amazing burst of energy such that I went for a swim in the morning, did the kitchen in the afternoon & out to supper in the evening! Went into labour at 230O that night.
Good luck OP. Hope all goes well. You’ll look back and laugh one day.

In all seriousness, thank you all for making me laugh and feel a little more normal.

I laugh about it but it feels very real when I'm crying in pain and frustrated that I can see a mark the size of an ant on the wall 😵‍💫

I will try my hardest to cut down a little and rest more as I'm genuinely in agony now and I'm laying in a warm bath trying to ease the pain.

@LittleMie my dog is driving me mad dropping the odd biscuit on the kitchen floor when usually it wouldn't bother me 🤦🏻‍♀️ however, I never get angry or upset with him like I do DH 😂 he is my very first baby after all. X

@Moversnotshakers I have visions of a heavily pregnant lady sitting in the kitchen sink trying to fit a blind 😂 bless you

@Stratocumulus thank you! ☺️

I've heard that a sudden burst of energy is common before labour, it fascinates me how it all works!

I've had the kitchen cupboards out 3 times in the past 2 weeks to wipe them then stack the trays and saucepans/wok etc the way I like it. Usually I chuck it in wherever there is space 😂

@elm26 they were courgette muffins, and they actually came in very handy for eating one-handed while breastfeeding 😉

In all seriousness, try to give yourself a break, but at any rate this'll probably pass soon.

Happened to me just before going into full blown labour both times!

Second baby I had a hospital appointment that day. I was scrubbing the grout in my bathroom before I went to the appointment, with the intention of returning to finish it off. However once at the appointment i mentioned the 'braxton hicks' i had been having. The consultant decided I was in the early stages and given I was only 35 weeks they wouldn't let me go home again!

I actually cried and begged them to let me go home because I hadn't finished the grout yet and the bathroom was a mess as I was only in the middle of the cleaning 🙈

Alas babies don't care about clean grout 🤣 good job because I never did get that grout finished and it's now years later!