Face painting and other things we hate about children's parties

[SkyandSurf]

Am I the only one who wants to turn around and leave when there is a fucking face painter at a birthday party?

Every time the children seem to waste half the party waiting for their turn, arguing over whose turn it is and getting upset.

The party I was at today had a face painter spending around 10 minutes per child making incredible works of art- when the children would have been just as happy with a one minute slap job of Batman/love heart/other crap.

They had a 'take a number' system that the smaller children were too little to understand, leading to tears and tantrums from the under fours when their turn never seemed to come.

The exact same thing happened at a party with a balloon artist. Half the children missed the birthday cake because they didn't want to lose their place in line for a balloon animal.

Then we get to go home with stained clothes and look forward to a bath time argument about not wanting to wash it off.

I sodding hate it. I know IABU.

What do other people just fucking hate about the hell that is childrens parties?

For my child's 3rd birthday we did a huge platter of food for the kids and another for the adults with various veg and dips and sandwiches etc

No adults of the three kids we invited touched them. Even when we stayed they were specifically for the adults. It was super weird
The rest of our families and friends that arrived later scoffed it but it was just so bizarre.
(And we aren't horrible people doing shit platters) we love hosting, dinner party types and make a big effort on what we serve.

Party bags with plastic crap in them - just give us a sweet cone or something.

Having to drive a bloody hour because some pretentious ass parents in our class have decided the local soft plays aren’t good enough for their perfect offspring.

I also hate party bags we give a book, slice or cake and a mini bag of haribo for younger kids parties. Older sleep over types the kids tend to of made some type of canvas master piece they take home sorry 😅

Best party for littlest ones I went to had a Prosecco table for adults with chocolate dipped strawberries and such.

While the children had the snotty fingered crisps and cheese and ham rolls.

any party I have to stay at (youngest is still at nursery - old enough to know he has an invitation - but my eldest is nearly 11 and I’m very over it at this stage) even worse when I’m solo with all DC

agreed - parties over lunch time without even an offer of a cup of tea let alone food

party bags, sweets, spending money on gifts I know the parent will probably hate and/or the child with already have, wrapping it, finding a card

just as well they enjoy them… 😂

I don’t get the whole party thing nowadays. When I was little you got dropped at the party girl/boy’s house, you played some games, had tea and played some more then your mum/ dad/ older sibling came and picked you up after about an hour and a half/2hours and you went home with some cake and a few sweets. Job done - everyone happy.

The one-upmanship now and the fact parents are expected to stay with their children I will never understand. And inviting a whole class!! It used to be your closest friends and your cousins! So around 10 people. Just about able to squeeze everyone in your front room! Glad my kids are all grown up now. They used to have one or two friends for a ‘treat’ eg cinema and tea then take them home.

For me, it’s the parents who allow their children to run amok when there’s an entertainer and the entertainer has to ask them to stop and the parents do nothing even more when the entertainer has to ask several times and still nothing.

I knew there had to be some silver linings to Covid - DD has been to plenty of swimming parties, but she's always been old enough that I've not needed to swim with her, for which I am very grateful.....

Queues. Only the British could organise children's parties that involve queuing.

Well, Phoenix Nights did and look how well that went! https://makeagif.com/i/zg4awg

Competitive Partying hasn't got to my child's class yet. We're still at the soft play party stage, which I'm grateful for. The kids get to run around, briefly stop to feed and then go wild again. At the last soft play party I went to, one of the parents was 'WFH' on his laptop.
We had an entertainer for the most recent party we threw. He was great, but I've seen his act a few times now and I don't need to see it again. The parents spend all of their time avoiding eye contact with him, incase he chooses them to join in.

But my actual biggest party peeve is the Princess Party!! I can't bloody stand them. There's a company that does them in our area and I've seen them about 70 times and Disney, they ain't! I'm thankful I had a son so that I'm less likely to be asked to call upon their services.