Might be a bit long please bare with me.
I started working at a new place 3 years ago. There is a course I would like to do that I relevant to my job, its a expensive course and is often only avaliable to 1 person a year. In my previous role (I was there 6 years) I expressed an interest quite a few times I always felt like my manager had favourites (wasn't just me who felt this way) and I wasn't one so I kind of accepted they would never put me forward for it.
3 years ago I started working somewhere else there were already 2 people with the training. 1 person left shortly after and I said if the training was avaliable ( this was during covid) I would like to do it. I was told by someone that apparently my deparment manager had mentioned me going on the course but she missed the deadline to apply for a place for me. She has since retired. The other person with the training left 12 months ago and again I told my line manager that I would be really interested in the training. Just after January all my department were emailed to ask if we were interested in the training to send a brief paragraph about why we wanted to do it. I know myself and 2 other applied. We were then told due to demand there was only 1 place and someone from a other department was going. Myself and the 2 others were told we hadn't been successful we were then asked if we wanted to do a different course similar thing but much less intense we all said yes. I have been asked a lot recently to cover for the person who is actually going on the course which I enjoy she originally thought I was going on the course with her, she mentioned yesterday in passing that someone else is going on the course with her this other person has only just started 8 months ago doing the same job as me in my original dept never covering the other department and wasn't one of the other people who applied with me.
I felt quite upset yesterday made me doubt if I'm any good at my job or if any of management value what I bring to the role.