Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Meeting Minutes

34 replies

SideEyee · 22/04/2023 09:26

I usually have a close relationship with the school but last week at pick up the class teacher was acting strangely towards me, almost looking at me in disgust where as she is usually really friendly - it was an obvious look of disgust.

The second class teacher (my other child’s teacher) was also unavailable when I asked to speak to her, apparently she was in a meeting.

On questioning my children it seems that the headteacher was in meetings with both my children’s teachers all afternoon. Towards the end of the day, the headteacher also had to teach one of my children’s classes (I’m guessing the class teacher needed some time off after these meetings).

Nobody has spoken to me about anything but I can sense something is not right.

Would I be unreasonable to email the school on Monday explaining that I understand that both my children’s teachers were in meetings with the headteacher on Friday and if my children were discussed can I get a copy of the meeting minutes so that I have an opportunity to reply?

Or should I just leave it and if there was a concern that they would speak to me about it? My children are happy in school so don’t really want to escalate something if I can help it but would like to know what is going on also.

OP posts:
CornishGem1975 · 22/04/2023 09:28

Why do you think it was about your children? I am confused.

Ballcactus · 22/04/2023 09:29

Teachers have meetings all the time.

Newusernameaug · 22/04/2023 09:31

You sound very paranoid tbh!!

Original poster
SideEyee · 22/04/2023 09:32

It was the look of disgust at pick up, it was very obvious and purposeful.

OP posts:
MeetMyCat · 22/04/2023 09:33

Maybe something is wrong but it’s not necessarily about your child?

Spendonsend · 22/04/2023 09:34

The school will contact you if there is a concern.

The meetings could have been anything from their annual appraisal, to a redundancy consultation 1:1, to a progress data scruntiny meeting, to safeguarding; to sharing personal bad news with the head who gave them recovery time.

Testina · 22/04/2023 09:35

Meeting minutes? Don’t be ridiculous.
If you really don’t think it’s paranoia, asking for a meeting with the head and tell them about the look, and take it from there.

FawnFrenchieMum · 22/04/2023 09:36

Spendonsend · 22/04/2023 09:34

The school will contact you if there is a concern.

The meetings could have been anything from their annual appraisal, to a redundancy consultation 1:1, to a progress data scruntiny meeting, to safeguarding; to sharing personal bad news with the head who gave them recovery time.

This!

I can’t believe you have assumed a school meeting was about you!

Testina · 22/04/2023 09:36

Interested in what a “close relationship” with the school means. Do you need or request more support than the average parent?

FawnFrenchieMum · 22/04/2023 09:38

My boss and her boss had a meeting the other day. They looked at me as they left the room. This means they must have been discussing me alllllll afternoon. If I went to her and said this she would think I’d lost the plot. I suspect the HT will think the same!

Notimeforaname · 22/04/2023 09:38

Weird presumption to make. Ask them if you're convinced..

Testina · 22/04/2023 09:41

You do sound totally OTT. How can you add together the head taking a class with that teacher needing time off because of a meeting that supposedly must have been about you?! It’s a bit crackers.

If both your children’s teachers had to be in a meeting about you with content so serious that one had to leave work and the other couldn’t contain her disgust for you then don’t worry about getting the minutes. Social Services will explain it to you!

Seriously, chill. Nobody gave you the “sideeyee”. You just caught the teacher looking in your direction when they were miles away thinking of something else.

Nightynightnight · 22/04/2023 09:42

It's very unlikely to have been anything about you or your children. Why would a teacher look at with you disgust? The only reasons I can think of are a) someone has raised a safeguarding issue. In which case social services would have been called and if it was serious you would already know about it. It would also not involve one of the teachers being off.

B) a problem with your child's behaviour. But again, if it was serious enough for all of their teachers to be meeting and for one teacher to be absent from work then you will likely have heard about that.

The is no evidence that anything untoward is happening in relation to your children except for you feeling like you were given a look of disgust. If you feel like this definitely, unequivocally happened, then I would focus on that. Ask for a meeting with that particular teacher and ask about your child and how they are getting on and if there are any issues you should be aware of.

BIWI · 22/04/2023 09:43

Of course you would be unreasonable!

Hippywannabe · 22/04/2023 09:45

Has something happened that you think might have been discussed? In the gentlest way possible, it does seem a big jump to assume that a meeting was about you.

Anxietyrules247 · 22/04/2023 09:46

I'm sure if it was anything serious that concerned you, either the Head or one of the class teachers would have spoken to you straight away.

Are you sure it was a look of disgust aimed at you?
Could it had been that she was feeling stressed and happened to look in your direction?

Sometimes I get over anxious and put two and two together and end up with 100. My thoughts start racing and I start thinking all sorts, so I do understand.

It's unfortunate that it is now the weekend, but try not to worry if you can.
If you are not aware of anything "wrong" then I'm sure everything is fine.

I know it's hard, but try to take your mind off it over the weekend, and maybe call the school on Monday and explain your worries?
I'm sure they will be able to reassure you.

Anxietyrules247 · 22/04/2023 09:49

Testina · 22/04/2023 09:41

You do sound totally OTT. How can you add together the head taking a class with that teacher needing time off because of a meeting that supposedly must have been about you?! It’s a bit crackers.

If both your children’s teachers had to be in a meeting about you with content so serious that one had to leave work and the other couldn’t contain her disgust for you then don’t worry about getting the minutes. Social Services will explain it to you!

Seriously, chill. Nobody gave you the “sideeyee”. You just caught the teacher looking in your direction when they were miles away thinking of something else.

I understand where the OP is coming from, even though I'm sure her thoughts are unjustified.

Anxiety has a mind of its own sadly. Once thoughts start racing there is no stopping it. 😢

Nimbostratus100 · 22/04/2023 09:49

SideEyee · 22/04/2023 09:32

It was the look of disgust at pick up, it was very obvious and purposeful.

really? WHat does a "look of disgust" look like? maybe she had something in her eye, maybe her glasses were dirty, maybe her head was somewhere else, maybe she has just been dumped on with a whole load of extra responsibilities or work she is worried about, maybe she had sad news?

teachers have many meetings a week, why would it be about your children? could be about maths, could be about the strikes, could be about the school dinners, could be about the photocopying, could be bad news about a child or member of staff. Could be a thousand things

Skybluepinky · 22/04/2023 09:50

Sounds like u r being paranoid, there are meetings at school all the time.
So unless u wish to come across as a weirdo don’t ask.

Anxietyrules247 · 22/04/2023 09:52

Skybluepinky · 22/04/2023 09:50

Sounds like u r being paranoid, there are meetings at school all the time.
So unless u wish to come across as a weirdo don’t ask.

That's a bit cruel if the OP is suffering from anxiety.

peeweechigs · 22/04/2023 09:53

And what makes you think minutes we're taken?!! That's the most hilarious thought of the day! My head has about 10 meetings a day, none get minuted! I've only minutes one in two years and that was a return to work hr meeting.

DelilahJane · 22/04/2023 09:54

FawnFrenchieMum · 22/04/2023 09:38

My boss and her boss had a meeting the other day. They looked at me as they left the room. This means they must have been discussing me alllllll afternoon. If I went to her and said this she would think I’d lost the plot. I suspect the HT will think the same!

I've just realised I should probably be concerned that my boss asked another colleague to stay on the call after our team meeting yesterday. They must have been discussing me!!

Seriously OP unclench you're not the main character in everybody you encounters life.

Mortimercat · 22/04/2023 09:56

SideEyee · 22/04/2023 09:32

It was the look of disgust at pick up, it was very obvious and purposeful.

Paranoid. And of course you cannot get a copy of meeting minutes!

Houseplantmad · 22/04/2023 09:57

Just speak to the teacher and ask if all is okay when you next see them. Asking for minutes, which probably don’t exist anyway, is too extreme.

GoodChat · 22/04/2023 09:57

She'd probably had a crap meeting with the head and had her arse in her hands generally

Swipe left for the next trending thread