Warning: Rant ahead.
I pride myself on being thoughtful and responsible. But I think I’ve driven myself mad. My Dad is in a nursing home and not having the greatest time. I visit often. The staff are always reminding me when he needs things: a new belt, pillowcases. Apparently my brother as the proud owner of a penis is unable to source these items.
My brother who has a really stressful desk job that pays well and involves working from home has taken himself on a 2 week holiday where he is uncontactable. Because the wifi is so unreliable 3 hours drive away.
I teach. I teach probably the hardest kids around: the school refusers, the suicidal ones, the gaming addicts, the pot smokers. The ones whose parents are terribly worried about and
therefore call you all the time. I am also a single parent. I also
have a mortgage I can’t pay.
Today I went to visit my Dad and asked my son to empty the dishwasher. I spent
hours with my Dad who has more money
in the bank I’ll ever see. I listened to all the gossip about Robert’s daughter who’s an opera singer, and Chris’s son who teaches at Cambridge. I got in my shitty car ( 2006 manual) and drove home on an empty tank because who can afford petrol.
Got home. Dishwasher full. Son has spent literally hours mastering three chords of a Nirvana song. Lost my absolute sh$t.Told him to fuck the fuck off and shouted about how I’ve just paid $400 for more useless penis waving guitar lessons and everything and every man ever is shit. Locked myself in bathroom listening to eighties electronica really loud because I know he hates it.
trying to be lighthearted but it’s close
to actually breaking me.