My mother in law has been a huge issue/source of argument with my husband for some time now but it's hugely escalated since having our son who's now 1.
It's so hard to put everything into words but basically she's interfering, oversteps the mark, doesn't listen to what we say and disrespects our decisions and choices. It was first a major issue with our wedding when she got so over involved and interfering.. examples include telling us who to invite, she made the cake but made it different to what we agreed on, buying and making favours and other decorations we had said no to and didn't want then getting annoyed when we didn't want them, making and bringing food to the wedding after we'd paid thousands for caterers. I could go on..
She behaves similarly in regards to our son, doesn't listen to what we say, frequently buying and giving him (without asking) toys unsuitable for babies which he then puts straight in his mouth, disrespecting our request to not have her temperamental dogs with issues around baby and forcing him to stroke them and feed them biscuits, taking baby away into a different room or somewhere away from us, not giving him back when we say he needs feeding or changing (more an issue when he was younger). Again I could go on, there's just so many things.
Husband and I don't agree.. he doesn't care about this behaviour and is used to it. All other family and family friends think she is an absolute saint and she's so lovely, everyone loves her. But I just can't stand her behaviour and just have no tolerance for it. My husband just will not speak to her, he'd rather bury his head in the sand for eternity. I hate confrontation and just cannot bring myself to say anything. I tried once and we just didn't get anywhere. So I just limit seeing her as much as possible, but then I feel really guilty and bad for my husband and son that I'm limiting their relationship with her. But she makes my blood boil, I have a physical reaction to being around her and can't trust her around my son without me being there.
I don't know what to do. Am I unreasonable for limiting contact? I've asked my husband if he can talk to her but he's not willing to. Everything thinks she's so amazing, is there something wrong with me that I find all her actions annoying and interfering rather than amazingly generous and helpful?!