Life is such faffy hardwork! I finally understand hermits/recluses

[Eggpie]

Unreasonable rant although not really unreasonable I’ve realised. I just need to vent.

As time has gone on I now understand people who don’t bother to leave their house outside work or go anywhere. Everything is such a faff!

Random Examples:

Drive my dogs and baby to the beach/park and my car breaks down, resulting in a 1.5 hour RAC wait with a crying baby and yapping dogs.

Nip the shop with baby just to grab some milk and baby has explosive poop, all through clothes. Resulting in being in a cramped cubicle trying to change babys full outfit and getting poop everywhere.

Go out for a drink with friends and taxi company doesn’t have enough drivers on, so then spend the next half an hour ringing around other taxi firms and a further wait of 1 hour.

Take baby swimming and the faff that goes into packing the swim bag for us both, sorting us out when we’re there and then getting me and a wet cold baby changed after. Then getting home and unpacking/washing everything.

Going on holiday. Nice? Yes. But the faff of transport/transfers/parking at airport. Sometimes a hotel the night before, arranging dog kennels. Shopping beforehand to pick up bits and bobs.Then packing, unpacking there, packing again to leave and then doing the laundry when you get home.

These all sound minor and it is, but it’s a faff and who can really be arsed, especially when you add in the general everyday unavoidable faffs of life of just going to work, housework, cooking dinner and general life admin.

I really now get why some people are just recluses, never go anywhere or do anything outside of work and essentials! Yes you get some fun in-between the faff of the activity itself, but for me the fun is overridden/lost by the faff surrounding it.

Rant over.

You sound like a tired Mum to me.
Sometimes, trying to do anything with a baby is akin to a mitary exercise, and that's when nothing untoward happens, like explosive poo or no taxis.
And you have a dog as well.
You have my respect for doing any activity at all.
It won't always be like this.

You’ve had a rough day and a bit low.

Being a recluse must be shit and lonely to me. Yes sometimes a faff but generally worth it in spades

@Giggorata thank you so much for your response.
Your acknowledgement of my frustration has surprisingly helped! I feel my ranting is somewhat valid so thank you x

I read an article during Covid which called them "micro-frustrations" - seemingly innocuous and completely unavoidable set-backs which can make the simplest, quickest of tasks incredibly complex and lengthy.

When several micro-frustrations happen in quick succession, life can seem insurmountable.

I get it. I have epic sympathy. Drink wine and sulk.

Everything is a million times harder with a baby. You'll probably be amazed by how easy everything seems in comparison when they turn about 6. When my 2 were babies life was just one long stressful slog. This afternoon I finished work, picked them up and sat in the sun as they played in the park. This evening we'll watch a movie and I'll have a glass of wine. Dig in, you're in the most difficult part (logistically speaking).

I get your point OP, and YANBU, but honestly having no dog or no baby would mean that your life isn't so much of a faff. It's the choices we make, isn't it, that are the difference between a hectic or peaceful life.

Thank you so much for your supportive replies. Made me feel miles better!

micro frustrations are definitely a thing! I just remember that!

I’m going to have a glass of Prosecco once baby is asleep I think and forget this day/week.

This thread has definitely helped. Thanks for letting me vent x

There’s a great song to play loudly with a very large glass of wine! It’s called that’s life!!!

With babies and toddlers it can take what seems like a millennium just to leave the house.

And taking a baby swimming is one of the most faffy activities ever. If I had a nanny, God forgive me but the baby swimming is one of the first things I'd offload. I only do it because they sleep so well afterwards.

Everything is 100 times harder with a baby. If I could go back, I’d not worry about doing so many things and sit on the sofa far more than I did. Preferably with Prosecco.

I have older children and I still get this. It’s 100 times worse with baby and toddlers. They get over tired and then have epic tantrums. All the able bodied people using lifts. The food you have to pack. Before children I was very spontaneous. Everything is now planned around clubs, homework and school holidays. Everything booked out early if it’s a school or public holiday. So we need to plan. (More faff).

For example, we wanted to go visit an attraction in London. Booked out a week in advance for all of Easter break. Harry Potter studio 6 months or more. Then for London, I need to match up whether there are trains running because I don’t want to be stuck with rail replacement services with two children. And they can’t get hungry or they will moan a lot. So I have to look at places to eat before hand and plan the itinerary.

See what I’m getting here? I can so see why parents got fed up and just have lazy days at home instead of planning days out.

Oh don’t say country side either. I’m near the new forest and if it’s a nice day, I need to get the kids out early or all the closer car parks are full.

The majority of your issues are because you have a baby or dog.

Someone with neither of these things are going to have much less faff in their life.

I have a child and dog and my life is so much more hectic than my DB who has neither.

Babies are difficult but things will get easier.
You just have to sometimes force yourself out.

If you have a DH you could do most of the dog walking whilst he’s looking after the baby which would be much more stress free.

I definitely feel that the combination of getting older and Covid means I get a nasty shock when I actually have to go out to do things I used to do without thinking. My examples: driving and getting stuck in traffic (I know, I am the traffic too), finding somewhere to park in an unfamiliar place e.g.a town centre, shops being crowded and hot with noisy music, shops not having the thing I went in for, shops or services being closed when you get there, having to carry stuff you've bought around with you, the whole thing being set up for capitalism: huge car parks, cafés in retail parks, shops selling absolutely hideous, useless tat that won't last and takes centuries to biodegrade... I could go on. I order what I want online, go out for daily walks and occasional drinks/meals in the village I live in and venture out as little as possible.

Thank you for the solidarity! I relate to every faff example!

I think @33goingon64 is also right in the covid impact!
everything feels way more faffy than it did prior to covid!

I think lockdown made life much simpler in terms of getting rid of all the faff, everyday faff was gone and long term faff planning gone!

Now with lockdown gone (plus a baby!) the faff feel insurmountable!

@SpringBunnies yess i completely get why some people/parents just do the bare minimum now too! I do know one couple with kids who literally go nowhere other than work/essential shopping. They’ll only attend obligational family events/Christmas/birthdays but otherwise you will find them at home. I used to wonder how/why they lived like this. Now I completely understand!

I am now drinking Prosecco in the bath. DP is bringing me refills as I don’t want the faff of even manoeuvring to pour my own drink whilst in the bath tonight.

Ive had enough!

Honestly this. It's weird to say but a lot of my memories are not that great until my dc turned around 5/6. Before that it was such a miserable period, they were very difficult babies with many issues. Every little thing was difficult.

And I would never get a pet for this reason too, don't need one more thing to make my life harder!

Life's a shit and then you die.