My brother is 29. He lives with our parents, is enrolled at uni but does not attend in person and he completely addicted to video games.
Trying to stay as neutral as possible and not drip feed as I explain their situation. Sorry it is long!
My brother has been addicted to video games since he was a teenager and he now plays from the moment he wakes up until around 4am every day. He only ever leaves the home every couple of weeks to visit his girlfriend who studies in London. He pays no rent, doesn’t help out around the house and never goes to uni. He gives his whole student maintenance loan to his girlfriend who cannot afford London rent without it.
It is causing massive friction in my parents house. My parents are mortgage free but are cash poor. My brother claims he is too depressed to go to uni or get a job. He accuses my parents of bullying him by telling him he needs to either get a job or attend uni. Despite this he is constantly laughing and joking with friends he plays with online, which keeps my mother up for most of the night and leaves her exhausted at work (she’s a nurse).
In my opinion, my parents are enabling him. They’ve given him more than a decade to turn his life around but he has not changed his behaviour. They are reluctant to kick him out because he blames them for the way he has turned out and they don’t want to completely lose their relationship with him. My parents are in their 60s and 70s and both still work to pay the bills. I think it is so wrong my brother sits around playing video games and does nothing else all day.
We had a very privileged childhood growing up, but as with any family there were some challenges. My dad lived abroad for a lot of our childhood as a result of his work (about two thirds of the year). My brother claims the fact he a terrible childhood and didn’t have a father around growing up as the reason he is depressed.
I completely disagree with him here - yes my father was away a lot but we were completely adored and my parents were constantly taking us out to clubs, sports, zoos, restaurants, theme parks, shows, museums, on trips abroad etc. We really wanted for nothing. My mum gets so upset when he blames her for everything as she feels she gave him a very loving, happy childhood (which I agree with). She is in tears most days because of this situation.
Honestly, the whole situation is so messed up. It makes me so upset to see my family in so much conflict. As much as I do love him, I think kicking my brother out is the only way they can reset the relationship but my parents are reluctant to do so.
What do you guys think?