to wonder why so many mumsnettets seem to think 'he doesnt actually owe you anyting' is an appropriate comment? do people genuiney believe this?!

[lastwineeg]

I read so many posts where the woman is saying my ex is passive aggressive, my ex is rude on collection of dc, it’s difficult to maintain any politeness etc etc often when the man has left or cheated and it should in fact be the women who is unable to communicate well.

Yet, the responses on here are often ‘he doesn’t have to be friends with you,’ ‘he doesn’t owe you regular communication’, ‘just forget him and move on it’s been x years!’, ‘don’t give him headspace,’ and so on…

does anyone here even think perhaps actually an ex with whom you share children DOES actually owe you being polite and friendly? They do actually owe you some degree of care as the other parent to your shared children?

Perhaps they do, but you can't force them to play nice so the only thing you can do is be civil and not give it any thought.

It's all the current gurlfriends or step mums posting lol

It's pointless debating about whether they owe you, because if they don't offer that to you then what can you do ? nothing ! So Better not to have the expectation that you are owed this and deal with a reality that it might happen.

Seeing as we all owe strangers in the street basic politeness and civility, then of course you are correct.

Not sure being right about that is helpful when an ex is acting like a twat. But fair enough to consider him a twat if he's acting like one.

Totally agree, they should be polite, supportive and generous, and some are, but many are actual tossers who try to get out of every form.of financial and emotional support. My 16 granddaughter's mum was awarded 50p a month, because the father wriggled through the system. He would give his daughter hundreds of pounds, to bathe in the glow of his generosity, but zilch towards her housing, energy, clothing etc. Jaded opinion.