To be annoyed my social media mumfluencers?

[baddecisions11]

You know the ones, here's how to get your baby to sleep 12 hours from birth; bath, bottle, book, bed, white noise, sleep sack , blackout curtains etc.. when the reality is the vast majority do all of these things and the baby still doesn't sleep very well and constantly wakes up so this type of content can be very negative and make mums feel like they're doing something wrong and can be triggering especially for PPD. I think mostly these mumfluencers come across like they think they are the holy grail of parenting when in reality they are just lucky that their baby sleeps . What do you think?

Really good post.

Worth remembering, anyone who regularly shares their child online in the way most parent bloggers/vloggers do is abusing their child.

It has become a legal issue in France.
They have already introduced a law which means children featured must be financially compensated and they have the right to have their images and videos removed, going back to infants. But proposed laws are aiming to go much further.

I wouldn’t follow, trust or listen to anyone who documents their child’s upbringing in such a way especially considering “The report also mentioned findings that half of the images exchanged on child pornography forums originally come from parents who posted them on their social media pages.”

https://inews.co.uk/news/french-parents-face-prosecution-childrens-images-social-media-2192382

Well I did have a strict night time routine with my kids from day one. Certainly not 12 hours straight - I woke them to feed and they woke up again for another, but by three months it paid off and generally they would sleep after the first feed for a good six hours (til 6am). Both very different babies. It was the time of Gina Ford so some of my friends were into the schedule snd some left it to baby. The ones who had a routine did much better in terms of sleep than those who allowed the baby to dictate.
But each to their own and I would never advise unless asked. If you are fed up with it don't watch.

I've seen these on TikTok. It's infuriating they think that's all it takes when as you say they're probably a good sleeper anyway. I did all of this and my baby was up every 1-2 hours for a good while. And when you're watching these videos (super tired mind you) you just want to tell them to F off!

They're just a more insidious, underhand version of someone writing an article for Mum&Baby about "5 best breast pumps". I was watching beauty influencers about 10 years ago and they've all grown up, had babies and are still making a living off shilling products. That's it.

Most are a package deal because they're managed by someone like Gleam Futures so 7 or 8 will pop up selling Sky Glass on the same day.

I don't know any influencers as that scene isn't for me, however, in response to @LadyKenya I will admit that I depended on the net when my son was born as I didn't have a support system other than my husband and we were both new. In truth, I learned most of the basics from Mumsnet.

Social media is all bollocks and bad for your mind, it's best avoided.

Babies will sleep when they want to and won't when they don't. Dd slept through from 3 weeks, DS didn't until he was 5 🤷‍♀️

People don't seem to get that they are just walking adverts. Treat them the same way you would a TV advert claiming to be better than all the other products. Take with a pinch of salt, or completely ignore. Or go ahead and buy into it if what they are selling interests you.

But don't make the mistake of thinking that what you see is someone's normal life.
This.

Although part of the reason influencers are such a good marketing strategy is because clearly enough people do think they're getting a behind the scenes look at their favour insta-celebs real life. Some followers really invest in the person behind the account (or more accurately the artificial and brand version of themselves) in a way that's bizarre.

They're trying to find their "hustle".

I don't read any of them and didn't when I had a small baby and I think a lot of it is bollocks.

But it's no worse than any other kind of "influencer", it's pretty harmless and it may give people some comfort and community. Everyone whose doing this is one kind of hustler or another. I'm not sure why mums who do it come in for more stick than anyone else.

I still don't sleep all night and almost 30. You can't make anyone sleep all night if it's not part of who they are🤷‍♀️

This! Honestly it's grim.

When I am scrolling tiktok, I have started looking at the number of shares each video has (I heard the higher this number, the more people are paid on TT, its not based on views anymore).

I have started noticing that really benign videos which have kids in them have way more shares than other more interesting videos which don't include children. It gives me the shivers and is the main reason I wouldn't post pictures of my children on social media.

I don't understand why people take Influencers so seriously I mean follow someone fine but honestly if you are getting upset, frustrated and annoyed by them unfollow they are adding nothing positive to your Internet time.

Plenty of us go through life without following any ‘mumfluences’ on social media. It is actually possible.

It’s because they have #gifted bottles and #gifted white noise machines and have to make out they work

Well this really what starts out as a fun Sm account ends up as 1 long #AD

Yep. I’ve followed a few accounts from very early on, when they were unpolished and talking about keeping it ‘real’ and within a year every other post is #gifted #ad promoting all sorts of rubbish - they don’t seem to be at all choosy about what they promote, it’s just OH LOOK A FREEBIE

It’s not their fault if it makes you feel bad, they can post whatever they like.

Agree. To me it’s the equivalent of blaming a tv show when one can simply change the channel. You don’t have to watch them or follow them, you can hide, unfollow, and silence them. The choice is completely yours.

Your life doesn’t have to be like theirs nor should you feel the need to compare yourself to them. How you choose to take in what they say is entirely on you, not them.

I’ve never come across them.

Mummy influencers I haven’t and the influencers I do have are those I follow on YT, majority being diy, hair styling, gardening, and fitness but I only see them if I have notifications on.

Just don’t watch them

I follow a few on instagram. I like the content and find them funny/relatable.

I have also unfollowed a few over the years - the ones where every other post is an AD or paid PR. That’s when they start to feel fake.

One of my friends is a mum influencer - as she has become more popular, she naturally started to get more companies interested in her page. She gets lots of free things sent, skincare/make up, lots of toys for her kids, clothes, meals prep boxes etc. Now almost every post is an ad or promotion.
I still follow her as she’s a friend & I want to continue supporting her, but I don’t find her posts interesting or real anymore. It just feels like she’s constantly pushing things on people. It’s a shame, as her posts used to be genuinely funny/informative.

Don't follow them then. It's all fake and very unethical to be using their baby like that, when the baby cannot consent. Particularly ones showing babies/kids using a toilet or potty. Imagine how they might feel when they're older and see the videos.

Sorry to break it to you, but some of us do ‘properly educate ourselves when pregnant’, but then realise that when baby sleeps when we do, doesn’t wake up until hungry, and gains weight as normal, there’s no benefit to waking them and ourselves up constantly! Mine slept through 12 hours literally from birth - I started a routine instantly because I need my sleep and never made a big deal out of ‘what the books said’ - and as such so have I. We were both refreshed, operated on the same schedule, mine and my husbands private life wasn’t affected - I wouldn’t have had it any other way! Why make yourself sleep deprived on purpose if baby is happy and healthy? No wonder there’s no many fried mums out there when sometimes they make such a rod for their own backs 🤷‍♀️ It made starting back at work a ton easier too. Seriously, children are meant to add to your life, not take away from it. You are not a slave to them like some momma martyr. Make it work for you and the whole household is infinitely happier.

Yes. This.