To stick to small invite list?

[Mummyongin]

My daughter chose 4 friends for a small party at home. Then went to school, got excited, told various other children and some asked to come. She apparently told them they could come “because they want to”. I don’t mind changing the invite list but these are not the children she talks a lot about or seems to be close to. I had a word with her about it being HER choice and if every classmate asked what would she do! The next day I checked in and she wants the 4 original friends again. But I’m feeling guilty about the other children being told they could come then no invite.. and worried maybe I made dd feel she shouldn’t change the list? I’m friendly with some of their parents too.

Have their parents RSVP'd to you? I might just accept it this time but make clear to DD that she can't do this again. I don't think you can uninvite. OTOH, if she felt bullied into inviting them, there's a cause to retract the invitations. You can also say no to the other kids coming and explain to the parents that your DD got ahead of herself. You have options but the small details of the situation might make a difference which one you pick.

None have rsvp’d but I’m wondering if that’s out of politeness as they technically haven’t received an invitation

If my child brought home a verbal invitation, I'd be checking with the mother. If they haven't RSVP'd, maybe they don't know about it?

If my child said they were invited to a party I wouldn't assume it correct until I saw an invite. I'd have a word with dd about talking about it in front of non invited kids. (Obviously she can't control what others do) if parents ask I'd apologise and say there must be a misunderstanding and just stick to original four.

How old is your DD?

You invited 4 children and so far only those 4 have been invited? Have I read it wrong?

If one of mine came home talking about a party, I'd assume they weren't invited until the invitation came home