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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I mad?

10 replies

fatnfedup12 · 20/04/2023 23:08

I keep worrying about everything. I keep going over conversations I had today with my boss. I said something very silly which I keep kicking myself about. I feel uneasy most of the time. I feel people look at me and either feel sorry for me or just think I’m crazy. I’m sat here now unable to process my emotions and overeat a lot. I feel lonely but when people go reach out to me I make excuses. I feel slightly sad when I see social media posts about my family and friends living their lives and having fun but when I do go out I feel it’s a wasted evening I could have done something else with. A new thing that’s happened recently I keep muttering under my breath that I wish I was dead. I’m terrified I might say this without realising and someone might hear me!

mice had therapy in past but the therapist is never going to say I think your problem is x,y,z. They just listen and don’t say anything.

OP posts:
fatnfedup12 · 20/04/2023 23:09

*not mice! I meant to say I’ve

OP posts:
YesitsBess · 20/04/2023 23:13

Hello!

You need a new therapist. You've got a lot going on and MN aren't going to help you solve these problems.

What makes you happy?

defineme · 20/04/2023 23:15

It sounds like you're having a really hard time.
I don't know about mental health, but if I was feeling that rubbish about things and wishing i was dead, then I would ring my GP ASAP.
There's medication and different kinds of therapy, even if what you did in the past didn't work.

3ofus3 · 20/04/2023 23:16

I am very much like you.

Stompythedinosaur · 20/04/2023 23:41

I don't think you are mad, but I do think you might want to see your GP.

The thing to remember about therapy is that talking isn't "doing nothing", talking is how your brain processes experiences. Supporting you to talk about your experiences is a legitimate and helpful thing. A therapist isn't there to give you advice.

fatnfedup12 · 20/04/2023 23:50

Hi I did try to contact gp but it’s been no use. I’m on the Waiting list and it’s not helping.

whst makes me happy is watching Netflix and spending time with my kids one to one. I just keep thinking if the stupid thing I said today and how much they must think I’m stupid. I’m going to wreck whole weekend thinking about it. I’ve got annual leave tomorrow so not going into work.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 21/04/2023 00:02

Well, we don’t say “mad” anymore, but you have a mental health difficulty.

I did try to contact gp but it’s been no use. I’m on the Waiting list and it’s not helping

What does this mean? Have you spoken to your GP? What are you on the waiting list for?

Bubblegumtea · 21/04/2023 00:16

No OP you're not at all, pretty much everyone I know has felt like this at one point, me included. I did come out the other side but I started to really force myself to do things that fit with how I wanted to be 'on paper'. I got sick of trying to get help but feeling like the help out there was useless. What are some things you have enjoyed when you have been in a better place? X

autienotnaughti · 21/04/2023 02:23

Does NHS have a mental health service you can contact direct and bypass GP? My dh did this and got an appointment in 5 weeks. It will be CBT based. Alternatively you could see if any local charities offer counselling, in my area there's several including Mind and a women's centre.

fatnfedup12 · 21/04/2023 06:59

@Bubblegumtea I got sick of trying to get help but feeling like the help out there was useless.

thats exactly how I feel. I know it’s made worse by my young kids and lack of sleep but I’ve always had done level of anxiety which I’ve tried to get help with at many times but it hasn’t helped. I don’t know how to turn things around. How did you manage @Bubblegumtea to get through it?

OP posts:
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