Not supporting my mother enough?

[Clematys123]

I am not the best at explaining so please be kind.
I am in my mid 40s and suffer from terrible anxiety.
I have been seriously ill in the past and had a fairly rubbish childhood where my dad used to hit me when I was little and emotional needs weren’t really met.
My mum still lives with my dad and my dad is abusive to her (verbally) and probably has some mental health issues.
My mum would not separate from my dad due to the culture we come from and the taboo associated with it.
They have always argued and never shielded me from it even when growing up but actually mum used to use me as a sounding board.
I used to shout at my dad on behalf of my mum but AIBU that I don’t want to get involved in the drama anymore?
My mum doesn’t really have anyone else to speak to about how my dad is with her so she wants to tell me everything but I am resentful for having a rubbish childhood and it makes my anxiety worse so AIBU to think if she isn’t going to separate from him she should be shielding me from telling me things that would make my anxiety worse and seeing as I have been through a life threatening illness?
I feel like I’m being selfish.
I have tried to speak to a therapist to process my childhood but haven’t found anyone I connect with :(

I think it's ok after 40 years to say Mum I can't listen to this anymore. I don't have the capacity/brain space. It's ok to have limits.

Keep trying with therapists. It sounds like there's a good amount to sort through.

You are not being selfish
You are not your mothers emotional support
Have a look at the book recovering from
emotionally immature parents by Lindsey Gibson that will help and I would also highly recommend listening to Mel Robbins podcast to give you some ideas about reducing anxiety and empowering yourself
Be kind to yourself. You're mother has chosen her path. She can change if she wants to but you can't continue to be her crutch.
Give yourself time to process your feelings and thoughts and perhaps try and reduce your contact time with your mum

Thank you both xx

tell your mum she needs to speak to ppl of her own age who will understand her better. then make an excuse and leave or change the subject. this is what i tell mine. especially regarding the background you explain, i can relate