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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’ve been very stupid with not going to see Dr sooner

91 replies

Shreddiesandmuseli · 19/04/2023 21:49

So I’m 39 and start of the year I noticed one breast was itchy, quite an intense itch, mostly in the evenings. This went on for about 6 weeks and I put it down to wearing maternity bras which are now far too big, months after I’ve stopped breastfeeding. So changed those and then around a similar time the breast itching turned into an intense pain on that same side for about a week. Then another 2-3 weeks later I noticed a lump - at that point I went to see the GP who fast tracked me to the breast cancer clinic.

It’s now 6 weeks later as there were no appointments at this so called fast track clinic and this breast pain is burning all the time and I feel a tugging sensation constantly around the breast. The craggy feeling lump feels worse than ever and I’m sure is bigger. I have an appointment on Friday and I’m absolutely terrified. I’m up in the night with anxiety about it and how stupid I’ve been. I’ve got 2 children aged 4 & 2 and I feel absolutely awful that I could have let this progress without doing anything about it. How stupid have I been? 🤢

yabu - life is busy and it’s not your fault there were no appointments

yanbu - you should have got this sorted sooner and not got into this situation in the first place

any positive similar stories I’d be very grateful! Thanks

OP posts:
Lastnamedidntstick · 19/04/2023 22:31

Catshaveiteasy · 19/04/2023 22:27

I think it's pretty normal to go from being mildly concerned about something to deciding to go to the doctor, getting referred and then kicking yourself (metaphorically) for not having gone sooner. I've done it several times and have never had anything serious wrong with me. The 6 week wait is annoying but chances are it's nothing serious and if it is, at least you are on the way to getting something done. Fingers crossed for you.

This.

i think it’s when oh dr doesn’t say “oh it’s fine, it’s just x or y” and send you home feeling stupid for wasting everyones time.

when you’re actually referred on it’s definitely an “oh shit, everything might not be alright moment”.

as a rule of thumb pain is a good sign. No guarantee, but puts the odds in your favour :)

MargotBamborough · 19/04/2023 22:33

Go easy on yourself, OP. You haven't been stupid at all.

I hope it's nothing serious.

Chattycathydoll · 19/04/2023 22:33

You have done the right thing. I have had itching and discomfort caused by bra issues before and would have done just as you did. I think most women do at some point. And when it turned out to be something more than just an ordinary itch, you booked the appointment.

My ex girlfriend developed a lump which turned out to be cancer. There was nothing other than the lump sensation wise. No pain, no itching, just the lump. Apparently this is most commonly how it develops so on that front, don’t worry yourself unduly. She was also treated and has been cancer free for years now. There’s no need to beat yourself up or overly worry. You did the right thing.

PammieDooveOrangeJoof · 19/04/2023 22:33

Sounds like you moved pretty swiftly to me, but I know the feeling when you have that horrible wait.

I had a horrible painful pulling sensation and lumps and they were cysts. They drained them then and there with a needle during the scan and I watched them disappear on the screen.

Best of luck for Friday x

Stripedbag101 · 19/04/2023 22:48

I had similar. Ignored a lump for a while, then went to the doctor who put me on an urgent breast clinic referral. I panicked, the waiting list was long to I paid for a private referral. It was a cyst that needed drained but the stress was unreal.

in most cases it isn’t cancer - you are doing everything right - be kind to yourself, what you tell a friend on this situation?

carriedout · 19/04/2023 22:50

I couldn't vote.

I just really hope you are one of the false alarms Flowers

Dreamtheimpossibledream · 19/04/2023 22:52

I just wanted to say I hope all is ok, sending you hope and positivity!

TheYearOfSmallThings · 19/04/2023 22:54

Of course YANBU - we have all ignored minor symptoms for a bit in the hope that they go away. And they mostly do! But in this case they didn't, so you went to the doctor to check it out.

You should have been seen quicker tbh, but that is not on you, it's just the way the NHS is right now.

Heydiddlelidl · 19/04/2023 23:04

OP I k ow how you feel, and its awful - I very recently had a scare (posted here) and was fast tracked to the breast clinic. I discovered a lump in my armpit, and my breast on that side had been painful and really burning for a while, and I'd previously had a (not normal) sharp stabby pain in that breast when breastfeeding (which I'd never got round to getting checked out). It was very scary waiting for the clinic, but it just turned out to be a cluster of cysts and completely benign. Breast pain/itching is not normally a sign of cancer so you did act quickly by seeing the GP as soon as you found a lump. There are lots of common/harmless causes for your symptoms and cancer is an uncommon cause. Thinking of you but do try not to panic (easier said than done I know) x

Coffeeandbourbons · 19/04/2023 23:08

OP I think every mum has put off a trip to the doctor or ignored something they probably shouldn’t have ignored at some point. Good luck for Friday xx

Toseland · 19/04/2023 23:26

Good luck OP Flowers (I'm not voting either)

Ontobetterthings · 19/04/2023 23:28

Good luck op

piedbeauty · 20/04/2023 00:02

Bless you, op. Best of luck at the clinic. 💐💐💐💐

YANBU at all, btw. You did what you could when you thought you should do something about it.

QueenSmartypants · 20/04/2023 00:29

I'm not going to vote either, delaying was perfectly understandable.

However, I wish to correct what a pp said above when they commented they wouldn't go for an itchy breast either - itchy pat he's on breasts can be indicative of breast cancer so should ALWAYS be checked out.

I hope you get reassurance very soon, op, and wish you all the best. Flowers

Escapetofrance · 20/04/2023 00:43

You’re a busy mum of two young dc. You went to the drs when you were worried. It’s not your fault you’ve had to wait such a long time to be seen. Be gentle with yourself.
I’ve been told by drs that pain is not a common sign of anything sinister -breast wise
i hope all goes well at you appointment.

.

Zoomie1 · 20/04/2023 00:48

For those who have been told that pain doesn't occur with breast cancer. It most certainly does this is how mine presented. It's a myth that GPs insist on perpetuating.

Lastnamedidntstick · 20/04/2023 07:18

Zoomie1 · 20/04/2023 00:48

For those who have been told that pain doesn't occur with breast cancer. It most certainly does this is how mine presented. It's a myth that GPs insist on perpetuating.

i don’t think anyone said it “doesn’t” occur? Or that o/p shouldn’t seek help because she’s experiencing pain?

all the comments I’ve read have said painful lumps are less likely to be cancer. Which is true. But should still be investigated.

I have never read any information of heard of GP’s saying that pain means it isn’t cancer. More that painless issues need investigating Just as urgently.

Northernlurker · 20/04/2023 08:37

The itching and the lump could have nothing to do with each other. Agree with others who say the timeframe is fine. A gp might well have asked you to monitor symptoms over a cycle anyway. Breast clinics are very busy and the vast, vast majority of women referred result in non cancer findings. Will be thinking of you on Friday.

Terryscombover · 20/04/2023 08:40

Also just wanted to say you're been hard on yourself and I hope it is just something easy to resolve. I ignored a similar thing. Same age kids. It was just a hormone thing

shivawn · 20/04/2023 08:44

Don't blame yourself OP, sounds like you have a very busy life and many of us are guilty of letting these things slide.

I hope you get your appointment soon and that its a minor issue.

dig135 · 20/04/2023 09:01

Just echoing what other posters have said. The consultant told me that pain isn't usually a sign of cancer and mine was due to ligaments stretching and hormones. My cleaner had the same plus a lump and hers was due to her contraceptive treatment.

Fingers crossed yours is fine too.

SnapCracklePopBang · 20/04/2023 10:02

Please don’t be so harsh on yourself as you have done nothing wrong. Good luck for Friday x

SedentaryCat · 20/04/2023 10:04

Didn't vote because neither option is right.

I was referred to the breast clinic under the two week wait following a period of itchiness then heat in my left breast. Examination found nothing but the mammogram showed benign cysts near my armpit.

It still itches from time to time but I wouldn't have spoken to the GP just for itchiness - I tried changing washing powder, soap, wearing a different style of bra, etc.

Fingers crossed that things turn out fine.

Ariela · 20/04/2023 10:11

I had similar, itchy, then an obvious lump that after a couple of weeks I could feel that was pencil stub shaped, then it felt hot, it also ached a bit and it was apparently a blocked milk duct. Being handled for the mammogram actually cleared it.

Trysbutfails · 20/04/2023 10:43

oh OP, huge hug.

I’ve been through similar, and I put off going to the GP for months because I was anxious, then plucked up the courage to go thinking I’d be told it was nothing but the GP gave me a Very Serious Face and referred me on the two week pathway. I barely ate or slept, I was absolutely convinced I was going to die and leave my children without a mother.

You’ve done great - you went to the GP as quickly as any one reasonably would and you’ve held it together for six weeks, which is more than I could have done (I ended up using private medical to get seen faster because I was such a wreck).

It was fine, just cysts. Never been so relieved. I’d like to say I’ve learned my lesson but I still suffer badly with “head-in-the-sand” syndrome.

And echoing what others have said - pain doesn’t guarantee it’s NOT cancer and should still be checked out, but it’s not a commonly associated symptom.