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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CMS

13 replies

CMShelp · 19/04/2023 17:30

Hi everyone. Name change as some of my other posts could identify me. Posting here for traffic sozzz.

I split with my ex when he was a newborn. On and off during pregnancy and he was so unsupportive so I ended things. He has stopped seeing/asking about him and has me blocked on everything. Last saw him end of December.

My ex has not paid maintenance in the last 8 weeks. He had been paying £30 a week since our child was 6 weeks old. So he only paid for 13 weeks.
I applied to CMS a few weeks ago and I know my ex will ignore them, he was supposed to receive a letter from them on Monday but I haven't heard anything and I was expecting him to go mad, his silence is quite worrying. He works and also claims benefits and takes home I'd say around £500 cash each week. I know this as we worked together before I went on maternity leave. I was really nervous contacting CMS and now more nervous that I've heard nothing from him which is why I think he's gonna try and dodge them.

Anyone know what can be done about this as he is not a PAYE employee (I am) and I feel sick at the thought of £7 a week as he pays £50 a week for his other kids.

I can supply rotas/reviews/pics&videos of him in work. I don't want to throw my employer under the bus but on the other hand they shouldn't have been assisting people committing benefit fraud.

OP posts:
Original poster
CMShelp · 19/04/2023 17:30

When baby was a newborn**

OP posts:
GoodChat · 19/04/2023 17:48

Send all the evidence you have.

Hotvimto3 · 19/04/2023 17:58

They will go off what he declares and im really sorry but trying to prove/get anything more will be a battle.
If he hasn't paid you can request them to collect the money directly. Takes 5 mins online x

adamsaboutnothing · 19/04/2023 18:04

If he's self employed he can totally dodge it sadly, or pay the bare minimum. My ex didn't pay so they took an average wage of his trade and just kept adding it on every month as arrears. Eventually he went on the books somewhere and he now pays what he's supposed to (£240), plus £320 arrears on top. It caught up with him eventually but he's likely to be retired before ever completely clearing his arrears, and long after DD turns 18.

Hotvimto3 · 19/04/2023 18:06

adamsaboutnothing · 19/04/2023 18:04

If he's self employed he can totally dodge it sadly, or pay the bare minimum. My ex didn't pay so they took an average wage of his trade and just kept adding it on every month as arrears. Eventually he went on the books somewhere and he now pays what he's supposed to (£240), plus £320 arrears on top. It caught up with him eventually but he's likely to be retired before ever completely clearing his arrears, and long after DD turns 18.

How long did it take for you to get the areas paid? Ive been waiting 3 years

Original poster
CMShelp · 19/04/2023 18:08

Thanks all. I've been advised to report him to hmrc, but then I'd be reporting my boss and the rest of the workforce so having to weigh things up. He gets paid cash and lodges it into the bank so I'm hoping they can query where the money is coming from

OP posts:
adamsaboutnothing · 19/04/2023 18:15

@Hotvimto3 he didn't pay for 8 years, so the arrears stood around £34k if I remember correctly. Once he started working for a council, things moved pretty quickly. I had to inform them though that he was working, and I only found that out by chance (he drove past me in the council work van). If I had not told them, I'm not sure how long it would have taken the CSA to catch up with him.

MilkshakeEarthquake · 19/04/2023 18:17

Good luck, my ex only had to pay £7 a week for our 4 children but as he has debts he doesn’t have to pay anything at all….

Original poster
CMShelp · 19/04/2023 18:25

Systems a joke

OP posts:
JMKid · 19/04/2023 18:30

Sorry to say you won't get a penny except maybe a pittance from his benefits. My ex has his own business, declares nothing, no tax paid. I've provided countless evidence of this to HRMC and they dont give a shit. Say they are doing investigations then close them. They only care about the ones that pay tax and have earnings records. System failure. I now get between £26-£29 a month from his universal credit!!! He was taken go court in 2019 for arrears. I don't expect to get a penny as they won't chase him for them whilst in receipt of benefits. A bloody joke, when he rents a flat, drives, holidays, brand new clothes, trainers, etc.

MilkshakeEarthquake · 19/04/2023 19:03

JMKid · 19/04/2023 18:30

Sorry to say you won't get a penny except maybe a pittance from his benefits. My ex has his own business, declares nothing, no tax paid. I've provided countless evidence of this to HRMC and they dont give a shit. Say they are doing investigations then close them. They only care about the ones that pay tax and have earnings records. System failure. I now get between £26-£29 a month from his universal credit!!! He was taken go court in 2019 for arrears. I don't expect to get a penny as they won't chase him for them whilst in receipt of benefits. A bloody joke, when he rents a flat, drives, holidays, brand new clothes, trainers, etc.

That’s interesting people keep telling me to report my ex to hmrc as if they will do anything I don’t even have any proof of what he is doing yet I’m suppose to report him. Sounds like they do nothing even when you have proof.

JMKid · 19/04/2023 19:33

@MilkshakeEarthquake. I've contacted HRMC multiple times with the same evidence over the years. All online now. They don't tell you the outcome but given he is still doing the same he has clearly got away with it.

worried4698643 · 19/04/2023 20:59

Sadly you won't get anywhere I don't think. The system is incredibly easy to manipulate.

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