AIBU to want more energy/be less depressed and live my life better?

[Tendegrees]

Not sure where to start with this or if I’m posting in the right place, but here goes!

I am 38 years old. Have 2 children. Work part time whilst doing a Uni degree with Open Uni. I have been on antidepressants for over 12 years now, yet they don’t seem to be working. I’m still depressed and anxious. Have zero energy and my body aches like an older woman’s body would (I weigh just under 17 stone).

I know I need to lose weight and exercise, I know I need to form better routines and habits yet I just can’t make myself.
I feel as tho I am firefighting through life. I can’t even manage to do a weekly food shop and meal plan and I’m constantly skint.

I feel that I have far too many issues to know which one to start with!

I am sick of having a pity party for myself yet can’t seem to force myself to actually make any changes?!?! I don’t understand why !!

Is there any good books out there about a middle aged woman getting her shit together?

Start by getting your GP to review you meds. That might help you feel able to tackle other issues.

Sorry you’re feeling so low.

Firstly, you're not middle aged, it just feels like that. 38 is young. Believe me!

You sound overwhelmed. When there's too much to face the temptation is to freeze and do nothing.

Small steps. Review your meds as the above poster said. So see your gp. Maybe ask for some counselling although there's probably a waiting list.

Work out your weekly budget. That's easy enough. Decide what you can afford.

Then find one or two cheap easy recipes on the Internet. Look up low fat budget recipes and pick two that you would eat. Adapt for dc with extra cheese, cream etc.

Don't attempt any complicated workouts yet. Maybe make a point of going for a daily walk or run whenever you can fit it in.

Baby steps but you'll probably feel better when you start.

Start by doing small bits of exercise every day, be it walking, cycling, or just 10 mins oc something

Meds first my friend. Talk very honestly with the doctor.

something has to change, for you, for your family.

I get it, I do. God knows how I’ve pulled myself up when I’ve been down, but with the help of fsmiky, friends, deugs and doctors, I keep on keeping on.

lose a bit of weight, it will make you feel so much better. Change out one bad habit at a time. Walk ten minutes, drop the sugar in your tea, find the health food that you love to eat.

good luck x

Hi @Tendegrees there's a book called "Tiny Habits" which I've found quite useful. Talks about how motivation is basically useless as it's so inconsistent. We need to make tiny easy changes on a consistent basis and associate them with a pre-existing habit eg. if trying to up your water intake: While waiting for the kettle to boil to make your morning tea, drink a glass of water. And do that every time you boil the kettle. While waiting for food in the microwave, drink a glass of water and so on.

My personal advice is to start by making a small achievable change so that you get to feel a sense of achievement which becomes addictive. If you try to change your worst habits straight away, you may end up giving up in frustration when you find it hard to commit to the big change. Focus on one thing at a time. And break the big goals down into smaller goals.