Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wander if I'm being tight?

32 replies

YellowRoses1987 · 19/04/2023 10:20

So my DH earns quite a lot of money and my SIL and BIL don't earn as much as him jointly and as they have 3 DC they could no longer afford a family holiday (which we used to go on the together with PIL and our 2 DC).

In order that we can still do this for and so DC can all play together, for the last few years my PIL pay their share my DH pays for our family and my SIL and their family! It was on the understanding that they would contribute what they could afford which so far has always been nothing.

I didn't have a problem with this as they are family and our DC love playing together and we all get on great.

My AIBU is that since then financial situations have changed and they have come in to quite a bit of money and we are wanting to move house and save for this (our area is expensive). Nevertheless we had already paid for the holiday before this happened but AIBU to expect that they should at least offer to contribute towards their free holiday?

OP posts:
DelurkingLawyer · 19/04/2023 19:06

Sorry just reread your update and you said they never even pay for a meal out, or even offer it. Definitely CFs. And all this about suggesting they will contribute because they don’t want to look like freeloaders - classic CF territory! That’s how they get away with it…

Elvis1956 · 19/04/2023 19:08

So you've paid for them...the whole family...to go away and the cheeky fuckers didn't even but a meal...I'm getting your pil to adopt me

Shinyandnew1 · 19/04/2023 19:10

I think if we didn't pay we'd get the whole "oh well you have a good time but we can't afford it".....guilt trip!

How do you know they can now afford it? Presumably, if you know for sure that they have come into a large inheritance etc, that’s your answer to the above comment-‘but you can pay for it now’. If they say they don’t want to spend their money, then, you can tell them that’s their prerogative, and they are welcome to come in future if they change their minds.

lap90 · 19/04/2023 19:12

What does your DH think about all of this?

Original poster
YellowRoses1987 · 20/04/2023 11:51

Thanks all I'll let it go this time just make sure DH knows we are not paying for anymore holidays!

When we first discussed going away (they still only had 2 DC -at this point) and they said couldn't afford it so we suggested they pay what they can afford and we pay the difference they said they didn't want us to pay for them. However still not sure how but we ended up paying for their full share. When they had DC 3 we needed larger accommodation as the bedrooms only fit 2 DC so 3 rooms for their family, 2 for us and 1 for PIL and we thought that we'd pay their difference again but it was never mentioned by PIL or SIL about paying anything! Everything else such as food or meals out are all split so we don't get any money back that way!

OP posts:
YellowGreenBlue · 20/04/2023 11:53

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 19/04/2023 14:52

Simple don't pay in future if they don't pay this time.

I agree with this. I wouldn't make a big deal of it this time as you're already expecting to pay but definitely wouldn't pay again in future.

Original poster
YellowRoses1987 · 22/04/2023 15:40

Spoken to DH we are def not paying again after this time! So back to house hunting! Thanks all!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page