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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Man in car trying to get my attention

21 replies

Blondey2023 · 19/04/2023 09:50

I've been wondering about this since yesterday.

I was driving home from school run with my child in the back. Was coming to a stop at traffic lights and suddenly another car lurched infront of my car into my lane. He put his hazard lights on numerous times and kept putting his brake lights on and off. We were stationary at this point so I thought maybe he was showing his thanks for nipping into my lane.

Anyway we then drove on and got to the next set of traffic lights whereby he ended up in the left lane next to me. He then opened his window and popped his head out the car and started waving at me and winking. I was puzzled as I have no idea who he was. He then got honked by the car behind him as he had missed the green light so he stuck his head back in and drove off.

I drove off very confused and thought maybe my brake lights were out and he was trying to warn me. But nope they work fine. A part of me thinks his actions were to get my attention to engage with him but then I think noooo I had my child with me so that would be grossly inappropriate. But now I'm cross because it was intimidating and I guarantee this would never happen to a man or aibu?
Has similar happened to anyone else?

OP posts:
moonspiral · 19/04/2023 09:51

I think he was trying to get you to crash into him for insurance purposes

Original poster
Blondey2023 · 19/04/2023 09:53

moonspiral · 19/04/2023 09:51

I think he was trying to get you to crash into him for insurance purposes

Oh my god I think you may be right, I hadn't even considered that. It was certainly distracting so that may have been what he wanted.

OP posts:
TobiasForgesContactLense · 19/04/2023 09:57

I was annoyed when this happened to me but then realised he was just trying to let me know that I had left my petrol cap open.

Alternatively he was a wanker!

Original poster
Blondey2023 · 19/04/2023 09:59

TobiasForgesContactLense · 19/04/2023 09:57

I was annoyed when this happened to me but then realised he was just trying to let me know that I had left my petrol cap open.

Alternatively he was a wanker!

Oh how funny! No my flap wasn't open (ohh-er!) so it wasn't that.

I'm going to agree with you and chalk it up to him being a wanker. But I just don't know why!

OP posts:
Annoyingwurringnoise · 19/04/2023 10:02

People be weird, so it could’ve been anything. It’s not unusual for men to do entirely inappropriate things to get the attention they feel they’re entitled to from a woman. As long as your car and everybody in it is alright then I wouldn’t give it any more thought.

BelindaMelinda · 19/04/2023 10:06

He was probably trying to tell you something. Light out. Flat tyre. Petrol cap open. Half your cardi hanging out of your door. Warning that there's a hidden speed camera van up ahead if he clocked you were going a bit fast. Could have been anything.

Original poster
Blondey2023 · 19/04/2023 10:09

BelindaMelinda · 19/04/2023 10:06

He was probably trying to tell you something. Light out. Flat tyre. Petrol cap open. Half your cardi hanging out of your door. Warning that there's a hidden speed camera van up ahead if he clocked you were going a bit fast. Could have been anything.

It didn't seem like a helpful attention seeking iyswim, it seemed dodgy af. The winking thing was what creeped me out as he could have pointed at whatever he may have meant.

It was unnerving and now I think that's why he did it. What a knob.

OP posts:
ZombieMumEB · 19/04/2023 10:09

I would think he was wanting to warn you there was an issue with your car - eg brake light out, or did you leave anything on your roof?

Oopswediditagain2023 · 19/04/2023 10:12

I had this a few times - people repeatedly beeping their horn at me (definitely not my driving 😂). It was really scary and it made me panicky that something was wrong with the car but there wasn't.
I was really confused until a similar thing happened to one of my friend's dads and it was an insurance scam to make him slam the brakes on so they'd go into the back of him. The police said it was very common where we live
And yes unfortunately it does happen to men and people in the car with children.

Original poster
Blondey2023 · 19/04/2023 10:14

ZombieMumEB · 19/04/2023 10:09

I would think he was wanting to warn you there was an issue with your car - eg brake light out, or did you leave anything on your roof?

No I checked everything when I got home, all I had with me was my phone and it was in the car. My car is relatively new and nothing amiss. I'm leaning towards insurance scam trying to get me to drive into him as a pp said. And maybe winking cos it didn't work. Fuck knows 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Blondey2023 · 19/04/2023 10:15

Oopswediditagain2023 · 19/04/2023 10:12

I had this a few times - people repeatedly beeping their horn at me (definitely not my driving 😂). It was really scary and it made me panicky that something was wrong with the car but there wasn't.
I was really confused until a similar thing happened to one of my friend's dads and it was an insurance scam to make him slam the brakes on so they'd go into the back of him. The police said it was very common where we live
And yes unfortunately it does happen to men and people in the car with children.

Yup I think you're right! Case solved!!

OP posts:
MustardCress · 19/04/2023 10:16

Until the winking I was going to say boot open/ petrol/ flap/ puncture. Could easily be him being a twat to try to chat you up though.

But more benignly, perhaps he thought he recognised the car and that he knew the driver? Thought you were his mate’s wife or something?

I once followed someone and waved madly only to find it wasn’t who I thought it was!! But I didn’t do any weird or dangerous driving needless to say!

GoodChat · 19/04/2023 10:17

He was almost certainly trying to tell you something.

He wouldn't have made it so glaringly obvious if he wanted you to crash into him.

Original poster
Blondey2023 · 19/04/2023 10:20

MustardCress · 19/04/2023 10:16

Until the winking I was going to say boot open/ petrol/ flap/ puncture. Could easily be him being a twat to try to chat you up though.

But more benignly, perhaps he thought he recognised the car and that he knew the driver? Thought you were his mate’s wife or something?

I once followed someone and waved madly only to find it wasn’t who I thought it was!! But I didn’t do any weird or dangerous driving needless to say!

Haha atleast you could make a hasty exit when you realised it wasn't who you thought 😂

OP posts:
euff · 19/04/2023 10:26

The winking is creepy. If it weren't for that I would like others suspect he was trying to draw your attention to something. With auto lights I have managed to drive in the dark without realising they weren't on until someone started honking and shouting from their car which at first just scared me until I realised.

SerendipityJane · 19/04/2023 10:59

Indicator left on ?

BelindaMelinda · 19/04/2023 11:00

Could easily be him being a twat to try to chat you up though

In two moving cars at a set of traffic lights? I know men can be creeps but I think this is pushing the boundaries of liklihood a bit too far.

FictionalCharacter · 19/04/2023 11:14

BelindaMelinda · 19/04/2023 10:06

He was probably trying to tell you something. Light out. Flat tyre. Petrol cap open. Half your cardi hanging out of your door. Warning that there's a hidden speed camera van up ahead if he clocked you were going a bit fast. Could have been anything.

He was winking at her though. You don’t do that if you’re trying to warn someone.

moonspiral · 19/04/2023 11:16

Blondey2023 · 19/04/2023 10:15

Yup I think you're right! Case solved!!

Show quote history

Yeah definitely. The wink was because he thinks you clocked him and knew what he was up to.

DiscoBeat · 19/04/2023 11:19

I had that last week and I'd left the charging flap open. Or maybe you had your dress shut in the car door?

Original poster
Blondey2023 · 19/04/2023 11:48

I'm definitely thinking the wink was because I didn't fall for his scam of me going into the back of him, and like an 'oh well you didn't fall for it, clever you' type thing.

At the risk of blowing my own trumpet I'm not bad looking, not a model by any stretch of the imagination! But I can't imagine he thought this was a good way to chat me up or similar.

Defo trying to scam me into going into the back of him and I was too smart a cookie to fall for it 🙃

OP posts:
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