Worried I don't have the personality to progress at work

[Beingnobody]

I am a hardworking person who is conscientious but I've always been quite shy, quiet and introverted. At 32 I am done trying to change who I am, I've worked on my confidence a bit but I've accepted that I'm never going to transform my personality and become some bubbly, extroverted life of the party.
I don't care anymore, the only area where it concerns me is work.
I qualified as a teacher, I somehow managed to receive the best grade on my course but I remember on one of my placements some TAs put in a complaint about me.
I was only in my early 20s, I was doing a lesson and they were in the room to support my SEND students. Then once during a meeting with my mentor I noticed an email was circulating about me, titled, 'concerns about X'.
Stupidly on another day, a teacher had left her pc logged in with her email and I read this email. It was from the TA, talking about how I'd had a 'little voice' and 'weak behaviour management ' during the lesson.
I remember feeling quite upset at the time, she never spoke to me at all about this and instead was sending out emails saying I was too quiet. Then my mentor wrote 'I asked X if everything was ok, rather worryingly she said it was.'
I shouldn't have read it, I think it knocked my confidence in part even though I went on to pass with a 2:1.
Anyway, I ended up working as a TA despite my qualifications, not that there is anything at all wrong with being a TA just that I'm qualified to be a teacher.
I've worked in care work too since and I've been promoted to a senior carer. I feel that I'm good at this role,but I definitely have more of a calming approach.
I've been offered another school based role interview which isn't teaching but is a well-paid role, and involves line management which I've never done before.
Instantly I'm telling myself that I won't have the personality they're looking for and that they'll see I'm too quiet and shy. I often tell myself I should never have gone into this sort of work and I would've been better in a computer-based area of work, not something that involves dealing with people.
It's a shame as I'd like this job and like to progress, I just feel that I won't get anywhere in life without a more extroverted, outgoing personality.
Sorry that was a bit long

can you work in research?

i dont think you need to worry about being extrovert though
i am sure you can get support in your line managing though

I don't think this is about personality, it sounds more like confidence. You don't need to be extrovert to be successful. Nor do you need to be the loudest person in the room. You do need to acknowledge your own strengths and focus on these. From your post, you are clearly intelligent, capable and understand the needs of the children who you teach. Take some time to reflect on your strengths and what you bring to the room vs. what you don't.

Two other things: 1) not everyone will think that you're brilliant. That's fine. It doesn't mean that you're not in fact brilliant. 2) there is a lot to be said for faking it till you make it to build confidence. Take a look at Amy Cuddy on TEDTalk!

Try reading Quiet by Susan Cain.

Many people are extremely happy being managed by introverts.

You have taken one email so much to heart, you may benefit from counselling to help you learn to focus on your positives.

Op, being 'quiet' does not mean you can't line manage. The best boss I've ever had was a quiet thoughtful person. My worst boss was life and soul of the party - and racist, sexist......
Don't let one snotty ill-thought email spoil things for you. At least give the school based role interview a try. Schools are struggling and they need you . Good luck.😊

Give me quiet, calm, considered any day over some shouty loudmouth.

I could have written this!

Except, I did push through and am now in a professional public sector role (social work), I can WFH so that helps but like you, due to my introverted nature wish I pursued an IT career. I am not interested in any senior roles or promotions which leads to more stress and public speaking; I have a young family and content to just hobble along.

If you are feeling unfulfilled in your current job role, push yourself but make sure you will be comfortable in your new role. Introverted team leaders are valued but it depends what sector you work in.

I think there is a difference between being confident and being loud, extroverted and 'bubbly'. Many successful teachers I'm sure will not be extroverted or loud but they will probably have confidence- I imagine you also need to be able to perform to a certain extent and be able to hold a room.
Maybe teaching isn't for you but i agree that a management post could well be suitable. Quiet, thoughtful managers are often the best as long as they are fair. You do need to be assertive though. I wouldn't let being quiet hold you back from taking a job you might enjoy - give it a go.

I was asked as a TA to feedback on teachers new and experienced to the Hod so that she knew what was going on day to day as how students (and teachers) behave during an observation isn't always reflective of everyday practise.

Many new teachers struggle with their voice, it took me two or three years to really master projecting and to give an effective telling off without shouting or ending up high pitched as well as learning to use my voice in a way that meant I didn't end up with laryngitis by October Half term. Voice control is a skill you should have been offered support with.

Weak classroom management is also a skill that develops overtime and even experienced teachers who move to a new school struggle a little to begin with.

It sounds like you read one email during training and took it entirely to heart and then gave up on teaching. You really shouldn't have done that and going back to teaching is a real option for you. If the person who received the email had ongoing concerns then she would have approached you. One tiny piece of feedback does not build a case that you are not cut out to be a teacher.

Just because you are introverted and calm and quiet does not mean that you will not make a good teacher, just that you need to find the method and techniques that work for you. The same goes for working in a school or any role even if it holds line management responsibilities. As long as you are approachable you will do a good job.

I agree that confidence is more the issue here if you are letting one email from a decade ago haunt you to this extent.

I am an introvert. For me this doesn't mean that i am quiet or shy (i can be). But more that i find the environment and 'keeping up' exhausting and that to recharge i need to be alone or in a very quiet and calming place for quite a while. So i'd say dont label yourself, even being an introvert is a spectrum. And a new role is a chance to reinvent yourself (to something you are comfortable with) and shrug off the past.

A fantastic coach once told me to not try and 'be like them' but to just try to be 'me on my best days, more days of the week'. Trying to be the best version of you more often is more comfortable to channel and more realistic.

Introverts make excellent managers. They listen more then they speak. As a result they are intuitive and pick things up. They have empathy and remember things you tell them.

Work with your skills-if you are the sort of introvert that finds meetings hard and processes afterwards. When doing 121s have a chat-then use some prepared questions (to avoid awkward silences). And set your stall out at the beginning-im going to listen more then I talk today as i like to go away and process things and then do a short follow up via email/grab a quick chat later in the week. Basically grabbing who you are and your preferred style of working by the scruff and not apologizing for it. Its also great to accept that everyone is uncomfortable sometimes and everyone lacks confidence sometimes.

My manager is an introvert and I love that about him. None of the silliness and crap I had to deal with, with my other manager who was most definitely an extrovert.

Being quieter is not a prerequisite for being a bad manager. You can be good even without a strong personality

Sounds like you lack confidence after a knock

Thank you, I didn't expect all these replies. It's not just the email, I got turned down from another teaching role for being 'shy', stuff like that.
It's true that this is a chance to reinvent myself. I'm known as quiet at work, and I always assumed I'd never be able to step into senior roles. I need to believe in myself more and I will give this new job a shot.

I'm very similar. Even started teacher training but I realised I was completely unable to manage/control the children. I would say my lack of confidence has definitely held me back in work. I'm now 48 and doing a low paid admin job. I would have progressed further but wanted to take time off to be a SAHM and also had cancer which set me back a couple of years. I'm now finally progressing a little.
About line management - I want to say that you can do it! I was a line manager in my last role and it was fine. Basically each company has its own rules and procedures so just stick to those. Whatever arises you can follow the rules and you'll be fine. A couple of times I was in doubt so I got advice from my superiors. If I was you if give the job a chance.

Thanks so much.
It's great to hear you're progressing now , I will try to believe in myself more and I'm going to attend the interview.

I think you sound lovely. Calm is better with kids, surely?!? Anyway I came on to say that I’m an introvert too but I work in PR which is full of shouty loudmouths. So I picked the wrong career but stuck with it now. However I literally pretend to be an extrovert, chatty type. I’ve learned how to do this over many years and everyone thinks I’m very confident. Interestingly I read that many comedians and actors are introverts, they literally fake the required personality. It can be done. Check out some confidence workshops, you tube videos. Find a person you admire and try to mimic their behaviour. It can be done.

If you can afford it, a couple of sessions with someone who coaches people for drama exams, to help you with projection might be a good investment.
Give you a bit of confidence in how to use your voice.

those are great ideas to help with the confidence