I've been in my current local government role since last June. I stepped up from an admin role I'd been doing for 20 months or so.
I agreed to step up as the team was haemorrhaging staff (and continued to do so) on the basis that I would have proper support. It never happened. I've had zero direct line management, save for a period of a few weeks, but she was new and moved on very quickly. I have asked several times for support in terms of training and case supervision. It would be forthcoming as a one off, then stop again. I have chased and since November I have been making sure it's in writing.
The caseload has been higher lately due to other staff on long term sick or leaving, this has been acknowledged but not really dealt with.
The role has a legal element and is high stakes as it involves vulnerable children. It is not well paid. At all. But it is flexible and term time, with home working, which suits me and due to personal circumstances, it will be hard to find something else suitable (though not impossible and I am looking).
I have been feeling worse and worse lately, no particular triggers, just the cumulative effect. The last week or so I've been grinding my teeth, clenching all muscles, having palpitations, facial numbness, trouble sleeping (waking at 3am) and feeling sick. Yesterday I flagged this to my current manager, who either didn't see the message/email, or ignored it. Today I saw the GP, basically broke down and he signed me off for 3 weeks and gave me.beta blockers. He was horrified by what I told him and knows that this is out of character.
I've previously worked at a much higher grade, elsewhere, pre children and been a manager. Now that I've stopped and considered things, it is really clear that I (& colleagues) have been very let down.
When I spoke to my boss earlier today, she asked what I needed, and I said more availability from her or someone appropriate to coach/mentor on live cases. She offered an hour a fortnight which i said was not enough. So she suggested an hour weekly. I've said I'll think about it. The problem is that she is new, she even said that she hasn't been trained either, which is true, but not really my issue.
Anyway, I thought I'd feel relief about having some breathing space, but I feel worse if anything and am panicking about what will happen to my workload in my absence.
I have lost all confidence and don't see a way out. I am blaming myself.