To feel depressed by the endlessness of chores

[SashaPearce]

Bin always needs emptying. Bed always needs making. Tax returns always need doing (it feels like!) I make to-do lists but it’s hard to motivate yourself when it feels like whatever you do there’s just going to be more. Has anyone felt this? How do you motivate yourself?

Sorry to be a downer, just been feeling overwhelmed for a while!

Yeah definitely! The thing that helped me most is getting into a routine, washing is done overnight and hung on Monday and Thursday morning before work, bins emptied and out for the binmen on Wednesday evening etc. Then I know each day the chores I need to do, makes things quicker and now I don’t think about them as much.

It sucks but it’s part of adult life, I give myself a reward sometimes too. So if I Hoover the house then I’ll promise myself a square of chocolate or if it’s a cleaning day then I know that evening I’ll find a good movie to watch and chill out

OP Thank you for your thread, I really get where your coming from. Chores are endless and can never catch a break! I do my chores in the morning when my daughter is at school. By that night I'm wondering why did I bother. It can feel tedious day in day out so I decided not to let it get to me. I decluttered my entire apartment being brutal with everything. If it's not been used in a year it's never going to be used so got rid off it. I make a list of my chores and tick it off which is satisfying. Really at the end of the day life is too short and to worry about chores made me question my life so I make time for me too should that be spending time with friends, pamper sessions or just taking time out going for a walk then I do that. Me time is important for mental well-being and I do suffer from anxiety and on antidepressants for it but honestly it was the making of me when I cried for help to my Dr. Please try to find a way to get out of the rut you've got into, I never thought I would but with determination I did it. You got this OP!

Yes, I feel this way too. I have come to terms with it a bit though there is this book called How To Take Control of Your House Without Losing your Mind or something and it explains all the little logical fallacies that naturally messy people fall into, why they don't work, what really happens when you try to follow them and what you should do instead.

The one that really made me laugh was when the author said something about how she realised that she was endlessly searching for the magic method that would make her house stay clean without her actually having to clean it. Then she said something like: You could read this book 100 times and it won't clean your house. YOU still have to clean your house. Sorry.

But she does tell you how to do the bare minimum for everything not to descend into utter chaos, and that works for me. When I have energy and motivation I do more than the minimum and when I don't, I know what the minimum is that I need to do.

This podcast is a good summary of that.

https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/2017/03/126-bare-minimum-house-cleaning-plan-podcast/

Totally feel your pain. I am in the 'drowning and giving up' phase at the moment. I cannot keep on top of it.

I feel the same. But you'll get someone along shortly telling you to put everything on direct debit and set your kids lunch money to auto credit every week! It's not that though is it.

I had a proper meltdown last week with my husband when we were at home for Easter about the massive list of jobs we have to do. We live in a house that needs a lot of work and it's a nightmare even trying to get quotes never mind actually get work done. My parents moved house last year, and I organised it all including the packing even though I live 2 hours away. They now need some work done - bathroom, garden etc and it's all on me to sort.

Re the bills and admin, due to my husband's business and our hobbies we have half a dozen vehicles that all need servicing, insuring, taxing, MOTing etc. there isn't a month goes by without something needing doing.

Add on housework etc etc.

Being an adult is hard work!!!

Have a 1 year old and 2 year old. Feel like this everyday. It's relentless. Makes me so fed up as place looks a mess and unclean even when tidying up all day. We try to do home improvements when we get the time but they will be destroyed with crayons or sticky hands and I end up feeling worse. A lot of my friends houses with kids seem so much better but they have cleaners which we simply can't afford. It's tough. I feel you

Massively feel this way too OP!

It is all so dull.

Someone once said that being an adult is just being on a permanent cycle of ‘if only I can make it through to the weekend’.

it’s all about finding your balance ie between your acceptable standard of cleanliness offset against your minimum standard of downtime. This is your normal - there will be still be higher stress periods and also holidays.

Don’t ever, ever compare to others eg ‘how do they manage to have an immaculate house with 5 kids under 5 etc etc’. They may be the sort of person who never sits down or has bags of cash for multiple cleaners/ nannies. They may also be an absolute harridan from hell putting house cleanliness above love, fun, laughter etc etc. Just never compare.