Dating as a single mum

[Lonelytart]

It seems like it's so hard to date as a single mum (dad/ex not involved at all so no EOW)
How did/do you manage it? How did you meet and when did you invite them into your home or your kids lives?

I thought I would just be single forever, but it's been a few years and I'm lonely. It just seems too hard to find the right person and to know what dating and life will look like.

You can have some fun dating, will undoubtedly meet a few men not to your taste but a couple will be. Don't take it too seriously, just enjoy it for what it is. Introducing someone new into your children's lives is a huge step and you have to know the person really well first. There's no point worrying about it now.

When you find out let me know! I’ve been single and celibate for 6 years because I’m with my kids full time no break at all, it’s impossible, I’ve even considered going back to my ex for a fwb situation as I don’t want to wait 10 more years until my youngest has grown up and able to be left alone 😏

I found a lovely babysitter from nursery when I started dating. When things got a little more than casual dates, after a few months of dating I started having him over after bedtime for dinner. Introduced them about 9 months into the relationship.

This meant she only met one man. The one that ended up being the one. Worked well for me.

I was a single mum who dated. It’s really tough. Married friends really judged me and took a dim view of me introducing anyone to my kids - even though I would otherwise have been single forever. I met my dh and then these so called mates came back on the scene as I was socially acceptable then. Just be aware people can be judgmental

I'm a man who dated a single mum many moons ago. Her daughter was 2 when we started and nearly 4 when we split up.

It's a long story, best told over a beer, but in a nutshell all the things that didn't work were nothing to do with the child or the fact that she was a single mum.

The takeaway is that, with the right person, all things can be overcome.

Take heart, and good luck 👍

Do you have a babysitter? I literally didn’t date for the younger years, only started dating 12yrs on when kids didn’t need a babysitter. As no other choice. No family nearby, ex was working away, even if I got a babysitter it would be what once a week max. I recently dated a single dad, he had 100% custody so only time we had was once a fortnight or so (sometimes saw him for a lunch break the week inbetween) and it just didn’t work out. A real shame but he’s not in a position to date and he didn’t really go looking for dating like going on apps, we just always had a thing going and we saw each other again after 2.5yrs and he asked me for a drink. It made me realise that I literally couldn’t have dated when mine were the ages his kids are.

Unless you’ve got an involved ex partner it just doesn’t work. That unless you’re going to bring men to your home when kids in bed or invite them to meet your kids early on. Neither of which I was willing to do.

A combination of DC staying at my mums for the night so it didn't matter if I was out late (or taking a man back to mine when I was ready for that) and dating men who had jobs that meant they were occasionally off on a weekday that coincided with my shifts and the dc being at school.