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Original poster

MIL doesn't listen when it comes to DD

138 replies

FirstTimeMama2022 · 18/04/2023 16:22

My dd is 6 months old & we've recently started BLW as we always knew this was what we wanted to do. She absolutely loves her food & is doing amazing with her meals but when she goes to MIL's for the day there is always an issue.

Last week MIL sent me a photo of my 6mo sitting on her knee eating a sausage. I was honestly gobsmacked & didn't know what to say. Now I've had time to process it I'm so angry. She knows dd gets the same food as us & she feeds herself but she also knows that 1) she should always be in her highchair whilst eating, 2) there are certain foods she obviously can't have & 3) I'm just a call/text away so she could've asked me if it was okay. I wasn't concerned before sending dd as we are currently only doing 1 meal per day (dinner) which dd was back home for so really she shouldn't have had anything other than a bottle whilst at MIL's.

My partner called her when he got home & spoke about it but all she said was 'she's fine a bit of sausage won't hurt her & what happens at grans stays at grans'. I know she loves dd so much & wouldn't do anything to harm her intentionally but I'm worried that when she's on 3 meals per day & isn't with me or dp I can't trust MIL to keep her safe.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can talk with her without sounding harsh?

OP posts:
Cosycover · 18/04/2023 16:24

Sausages are a choking hazard. I hope she sliced them correctly?

RoxanaRoxana · 18/04/2023 16:24

'she's fine a bit of sausage won't hurt her

That’s entirely true.

What exactly are you worried about?

Talipesmum · 18/04/2023 16:25

I don’t think it sounds too terrible if she just had a bit? Though I’d agree there’s likely to be too much salt in a whole sausage. But they are perfect finger food. And I don’t quite see the problem about sitting on a lap, though mine are a bit older now so it’s possible I’ve forgotten something.

arethereanyleftatall · 18/04/2023 16:25

I'm not sure what's wrong with eating a sausage?

Is your MIL supplying free childcare here?

Tbh, when my mum looked after my dds so that I could go to work, because we all wanted this, I let her do it her way.

TheSnowyOwl · 18/04/2023 16:26

This is your PFB, isn’t it?

thebellagio · 18/04/2023 16:29

Isn’t the point of BLW so they can just pick up something like a sausage to gnaw on?

Ilovetocrochet · 18/04/2023 16:30

I’m curious why your baby can only be fed in a high chair? I did not do BLW as my children are adults now and were fed by me using a spoon so I’m not sure of any specific guidelines. Although I mainly sat them in the high chair, it was nice to feed them sitting on my lap sometimes, maybe for a quick snack or when visiting someone who did not have a high chair. It just seems a bit rigid to me.

Dillydollydingdong · 18/04/2023 16:30

Why shouldn't she have a sausage? And what's BLW?

tootiredtobother · 18/04/2023 16:33

was it a good quality sausage ? but I would be a bit annoyed myself, what was the salt content too ?

ZacharinaQuack · 18/04/2023 16:33

Sausages probably are a bit salty, but as long as she is sitting upright it shouldn't be unsafe.

Dixiechickonhols · 18/04/2023 16:34

What’s the objection to sausage? Processed or choking hazard I’d guess. As long as Mil with her and the food is cut appropriately so it’s not a hazard then it’s fine.

Dixiechickonhols · 18/04/2023 16:35

Asking the obvious but has mil got a high chair? Only eating in high chair seems very rigid. What if you are on a picnic etc.

MintMa · 18/04/2023 16:36

What's wrong with a bit of sausage if you're baby led weaning and why does she have to be in a high chair?

We just gave ours what ever we were having. Small amounts of processed meat are fine as part of a balanced diet imo.

ItsThePlayBusDingDing · 18/04/2023 16:37

when she goes to MIL's for the day there is always an issue.

I suspect this is it, having a chew on a bit of sausage would barely register as an incident for most people, however if she is always doing things she knows you would dislike I can see how it would get annoying.

SavBlancTonight · 18/04/2023 16:38

I don't really understand. If you're doing BLW and she had a sausage, that's the whole point? She gnaws at it, gums it etc? Sitting on your MIL's lap... well, okay, maybe not ideal but DD's first ever solid food was a piece of cucumber I handed her while sitting with a friend and a glass of wine (dd is NOT my PFB, clearly!). If it's the salt in the sausage, okay, I can understand that up to a point but unless she's having sausages every day, I'm struggling to see that the very small amount she'd actually have eaten will have had any massively negative effect.

Sorry OP, I think you are being very precious and a bit silly here.

clpsmum · 18/04/2023 16:39

TheSnowyOwl · 18/04/2023 16:26

This is your PFB, isn’t it?

this 🙄

Whatabouteverything · 18/04/2023 16:40

TheSnowyOwl · 18/04/2023 16:26

This is your PFB, isn’t it?

This.

Unclench. You're going to drive an unnecessary wedge between them. In a few months you'll see you're being ridiculous.

Whatabouteverything · 18/04/2023 16:41

tootiredtobother · 18/04/2023 16:33

was it a good quality sausage ? but I would be a bit annoyed myself, what was the salt content too ?

🤦‍♀️ Jesus fucking Christ.

TomatoSandwiches · 18/04/2023 16:43

Don't send her over there then.

SnackSizeRaisin · 18/04/2023 16:43

I think it's the salt that would potentially worry me, I wouldn't give sausage until weaning is fully established probably 9 months or a year. Having said that a small amount won't harm her.
Other than that I think it's fine, eating sitting down is important but doesn't have to be a high chair, I don't think there's a safety issue here.

BlingLoving · 18/04/2023 16:43

TheSnowyOwl · 18/04/2023 16:26

This is your PFB, isn’t it?

Yup, I think so.

OP - if it's any consolation, DS was weaned with care and attention, by me and DH, in a highchair, with cameras at the ready for every new food.

DD on the other hand, I once found toddling around the house holding a yoghurt pot and a spoon that she was sharing with the dog. I barely blinked.

Excited101 · 18/04/2023 16:44

As a nanny, I wouldn’t have given any of my kids sausages at that age. But, I also don’t do BLW as a rule- I much prefer a mixture of feeding. HOWEVER sausages are much more BLW style of feeding than spoon feeding, perhaps you need to give the food for meals ready prepared how you’d like when she goes there? 6 months is much too young for sausages no matter what type of weaning you’re doing.

Suzi888 · 18/04/2023 16:45

tootiredtobother · 18/04/2023 16:33

was it a good quality sausage ? but I would be a bit annoyed myself, what was the salt content too ?

🤦🏼‍♀️ How do you get through life….. honest to goodness.

SnackSizeRaisin · 18/04/2023 16:45

If you are struggling then I would delay the whole day visits till she's a bit older. You won't care as much about these tiny details once your baby is a year or so. 6 months is too young for a whole day away from mum IMO. It's not surprising you are finding tricky. Just do supervised or short visits

Oojamaflipp · 18/04/2023 16:47

BlingLoving · 18/04/2023 16:43

Yup, I think so.

OP - if it's any consolation, DS was weaned with care and attention, by me and DH, in a highchair, with cameras at the ready for every new food.

DD on the other hand, I once found toddling around the house holding a yoghurt pot and a spoon that she was sharing with the dog. I barely blinked.

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