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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Happy drunk?

10 replies

Niveaprincess · 18/04/2023 13:38

I don't drink anymore. I used to, but became a bit too fond of it and gave up. Was much easier than I thought it would be - I was a bit of a binge drinker rather than a daily drinker.

I know I binge drank because I was anxious. Alcohol is a bit of a bastard in that way - enough of it tends to obliterates anxiety (in the short term!!)

Anyway, I have a friend who pretty much drinks every day. He drinks in the evenings and if I ring him or he rings me past about 8pm, he's usually slurring a bit - sometimes a lot. If he talks a lot of rubbish, I'll often get a text the next morning to apologise. He's never horrible or mean.

My friend insists that he's happy, never anxious or even stressed. He says he just likes the feeling of being drunk. He reckons he's not masking anything and occasionally goes a few days without drinking just to show himself he can. He's in his fifties, doesn't have kids and is single. He lives quite a full life - holidays, hobbies etc.

I've always assumed that people who drink often/to excess do so because they're sad or anxious, trying to block things out. AIBU? Is this judgemental of me? Do some people get drunk just because they like it or are there almost always underlying issues (loneliness, guilt, trauma, anxiety, depression etc) do you think?

OP posts:
Bambooflowers · 18/04/2023 13:40

I really don’t think you should ask for people to judge your friend and decide if they’ve underling issues. That’s not very nice and none of us know.

Vegetus · 18/04/2023 13:41

Some people like to drink but I'd pretty much guarantee someone drinking that often to the point of slurring is alcohol dependent they just might not realise it as it doesn't interfere with day to day life.

Niveaprincess · 18/04/2023 13:44

Bambooflowers - I really don’t think you should ask for people to judge your friend and decide if they’ve underling issues. That’s not very nice and none of us know.

Considering this is an anonymous thread, and nobody knows who he is, I don't think it's an issue. Plus, I was using this friend as an example to ask a general question, not asking you to judge him specifically.

OP posts:
Niveaprincess · 18/04/2023 13:46

Vegetus - that's what I've always assumed.

OP posts:
Supernova23 · 18/04/2023 13:47

Nothing wrong with liking a drink - I love it. I like the the feeling of being tipsy and relaxed, but not drunk. However, drinking and getting drunk every day is not normal and a sign you have a problem. The fact the he has to stop drinking for a couple of days to "prove he can do it" says a lot.

edenhills · 18/04/2023 14:06

I love being drunk with friends. I would do it more often if it wasn't so bad for health and my waistline. I don't think I am addicted or doing it to cover anything up. However I would worry about a friend who was drinking everyday alone.

PleaseJustText · 18/04/2023 14:11

I drank because I liked it and then it turned into a daily habit. There were no underlying issues for it, it's just an addictive substance.

Sleepyandconfused · 18/04/2023 14:41

I genuinely enjoy alcohol. I can go for days, weeks, months, even years without drinking, and have. But I really do love getting a bit drunk and having a good chat! I think it’s possible for some people to just genuinely enjoy the vibe of alcohol without it being problematic or sinister or an addiction. That being said, your friend sounds like he’s drinking an awful lot!

TheSnowyOwl · 18/04/2023 14:46

Maybe it’s just a habit and something he enjoys. Lots of people have the equivalent unhealthy lifestyles by enjoying a pudding or bar or chocolate at work. It doesn’t mean they are addicted to them.

Oblomov23 · 18/04/2023 18:52

Not that I'm condoning his drinking because it does sound a problem. But stop trying to put your reasoning onto someone else. People do things for different reasons. Some people don't drink a lot, don't drink out of anxiety. I certainly never did.

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