33 weeks pregnant and feeling SO insecure

[Username1233]

I don't know what's happened to me, but I've very recently noticed that I have become totally insecure. Im 33 weeks pregnant, not feeling the most attractive right now. Partner doesn't want to seem to want to go near me in that way - but I can see this is quite a common thing anyway after going through other Mumsnet posts.

What is happening to me? I felt the urge to want to go through DP phone last night, and just feel really suspicious, insecure and maybe a little anxious? Is this just pregnancy hormones? I'm feeling like a crazy lady, me and DP have been together 10 years, I have no reason NOT to trust him!

Never think you are unattractive when pregnant... your body is literally making a baby!! It is amazing 🥰🥰🥰

What’s your relationship like with you mr DP generally?

It seems like the cause of your insecurity is your DP not exactly being kind and supportive to you

@Cleoforever it's generally very good. I have defiantly felt changes since becoming pregnant, to me it feels much more distant, DP says it's just his way of preparing. We have a DS who is 6, and I remember DP was very similar throughout that pregnancy too. I would love the idea of feeling totally loved up during pregnancy, going to baby shops together, talking over names we like but DP will never be like that. Our first was a shock/surprise so I thought it was down to that but it's the same the second time around.

DP says it's just his way of preparing.

by being unsupportive and distant?

"DP says it's just his way of preparing"

You need much more support while being pregnant- pains and aches, nausea, hormones etc. He needs to be there for you. How generous of him he didn't hide in the cave for these 9 months.

@Cleoforever @xogossipgirlxo See the message he sent to me about it, I will paste it below x

Look having this child is AMAZING, like it truly is and I love it and you to bits. But it’s still taking some processing, and this has obviously (subconsciously) been my way of dealing with it over the last few months. To be more internally deep in thought about it all. You have to remember that it’s in you. That’s a very different thing to what it is for me. It’s all in my head really isn’t it? And I’m sure I’d you’d ask any dad they’d say the same. But I’ve gotta process things and prepare for this in my own way, whilst trying to be the best I can. It’s not perfect I get that but I’m honestly not that bad am I?

You have a distant partner who is unbothered about your pregnancy, as he was first time around

Why don’t you immediately see that as the source of your wobbles? Why are you blaming it on hormones, and…you?

@Suprima Honestly, I think I've been feeling a little crazy and insecure, I haven't spoken to anyone else about this and was too scared to post on mumsnet incase I was being massively unreasonable. It's almost reassuring to hear that others are saying what I'm thinking.

I also have this idea that I shouldn't have to rely on others for my happiness, happiness starts within etc etc. I said that the fact I'm insecure is my own problem and something that I should work on.

I did have a very quick look on his phone 😣- which I know is unreasonable of me. I should have asked, respected his privacy etc. I could see that he's checked out his Exes profile on social media a handful of times (he's not friends with her so has to search by name). I feel like this has tipped me over the edge, he thinks I'm being crazy by feeling weird about it, we have been together 10 years and I shouldn't think anything of it.

I think I might just be feeling a little mentally unstable overall. I'm not too sure what to do.

Oh dear OP

this isn’t looking great

@Cleoforever So you don't think I'm being unreasonable about how I'm feeling about it all? Any advice is much appreciated. My mind feels so clouded right now and I just feel like I can't see straight.

I think you’re downplaying it to yourself OP!

He has been distant
He has been online FB stalking his ex

I would be very worried if I were you. Also, bloody angry

His message to you is a little odd I have to agree