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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not park my car in gear?

368 replies

CrazylazyJane · 18/04/2023 04:54

DH and I are at odds on whether you are supposed to park your car in gear or not, so settle the argument for us.

He maintains that he was taught to always leave your car in first gear when you park it incase the hand break fails

I was taught to leave the car in neutral when parking. The only exception being when you're parked on a steep hill, you may consider leaving your car in gear to prevent it from rolling.

I drive DG's car a few times a year and today jumped in it and bunny hopped as I turned on the ignition. Yes, yes, one should always check the gear stick before turning the engine on but I don't routinely as I would always leave a manual car in neutral. So AIBU for being annoyed that he keeps doing this?

OP posts:
Lynjan3 · 23/04/2023 23:15

I remember when I just learnt to drive having the exact same discussion with my dad. I said to leave it in neutral as that is what I was taught.

About a month after the discussion someone in my area had their handbrake fail and a child was killed. Every day since I have always left my car in gear, on a hill or not.

Better to be safe and leave your car in gear and once you start doing that it will also help remind you to check gear when starting the car.

cherish123 · 23/04/2023 23:23

I always park in gear.

PrtScn · 23/04/2023 23:44

OliviaPark · 18/04/2023 06:18

Just out of interest, how many people here have had their hand brake fail? (Personally, not their mum’s cousin’s neighbour).

I have never known anyone it happened to or seen the aftermath of an incident where it has happened.

I’ve never had a handbrake fail, but my neighbours girlfriend had had her handbrake fail twice that I know of. She hit another neighbours car the first time, and mine the 2nd. Work colleague also had his handbrake fail in the early hours and car end up in middle of the road. It was towed away and he woke up thinking someone had stolen it 🤣

I was taught to park in neutral unless on a hill, then park in either 1st or reverse depending which way you are facing, then turn the wheels into the curb. My DH and dad always park in gear which is very annoying as I have to try and remember to check if the car is in gear before turning on engine if I use their car or they use mine.

PrtScn · 23/04/2023 23:51

CatA27 · 23/04/2023 22:55

It's an age thing, you used to be taught to park in gear when handbrake were rubbish, anyone who learnt to drive in the last 30 years should have been taught to park in neutral. Similar thing to going through the gears, my ex would always go up or down into every gear, 5th, 4th 3rd, 2nd, 1st whereas I was taught that you don't need to do this and in today's cars can jump from 4th to 2nd or 1st for example.

reminds me, I wat taught tondonthe same as you - change through the gears (as was my DH). One day my sister was like, “why on Earth are you changimg through all the gears?” I was like “eh?” As I hadn’t realised / thought about it. She was taught to drive several years after me, and was taught to block change. I’ve tried to block change but I just couldn’t. It just felt unnatural and wrong 🤣

Hey12345 · 23/04/2023 23:55

OliviaPark · 18/04/2023 06:18

Just out of interest, how many people here have had their hand brake fail? (Personally, not their mum’s cousin’s neighbour).

I have never known anyone it happened to or seen the aftermath of an incident where it has happened.

My DH has. Happened a couple of years ago, expensive mistake, the car rolled out of in law’s drive across the road and into their neighbours wall. Luckily no one was walking by at the time. So, safest option is to always leave in gear. It does happen.

TimeToBreakFree · 23/04/2023 23:55

I always parked in neutral if I wasn't on a hill.

30 years later I parked on a tiny incline - so small I didn't even register it wasn't completely flat - and the handbrake failed. I returned to the car park to find my car gone. It has plowed into the most expensive car in the whole car park, which had taken great pains to park a long way away from everyone else so my car had a nice long roll to gather momentum and taken 3 panels out.

I never parked in neutral again after that!

TimeToBreakFree · 23/04/2023 23:57

There was no warning on the handbrake husband the way. Not even a slight bit of give.

After that night though, I noticed it was really lax and needed looking at. So I think it just suddenly worsened without warning.

TimeToBreakFree · 23/04/2023 23:58

Blanketpolicy · 18/04/2023 07:22

Parking in gear, or not, is irrelevant. You should always check you are in neutral before starting the car.

Yea I was taught this was part of the start up checks along with checking the mirrors!

eachtigertires · 23/04/2023 23:59

Always in gear because I have had my handbrake fail. It’s not a great feeling having to chase your car which is rolling backwards towards the road to be honest.

LeafyGreenSummer · 24/04/2023 00:00

OliviaPark · 18/04/2023 06:18

Just out of interest, how many people here have had their hand brake fail? (Personally, not their mum’s cousin’s neighbour).

I have never known anyone it happened to or seen the aftermath of an incident where it has happened.

I have. The hand-brake cable snapped as I was parking on a steep hill, so I steered into the kerb. I then had to drive through hilly North London to get to a garage, on clutch control alone! That was pretty hairy.

Now I always leave the car in gear on a slope, and wheels turned towards the kerb (but not when parking on the level).

StoppinBy · 24/04/2023 00:25

In gear.

I once went somewhere with a friend, came out of a shop to find a few people holding her car in the parking space.

The car was left in neutral and had rolled out in to the road.

The people had pushes it back in to the park and were holding it there.

Mummytotheboy · 24/04/2023 00:35

My other half always leaves it in neutral but I still check, then brace myself as I turn the ignition for how loud he's left the radio on!

ImustLearn2Cook · 24/04/2023 00:58

If the manual car is parked on an incline and could roll forwards you leave it in reverse gear. If it could roll backwards you leave it in first gear. That’s what I was taught.

Because handbrakes can fail. I’ve seen parked cars rolling while parked on a few occasions throughout my life (on one of those occasions it hit the parked car behind it) so I always followed those rules for when I had a manual.

I have an automatic now, so I leave it in parked (which essentially does the same thing as parking in gear).

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 24/04/2023 01:43

OliviaPark · 18/04/2023 06:18

Just out of interest, how many people here have had their hand brake fail? (Personally, not their mum’s cousin’s neighbour).

I have never known anyone it happened to or seen the aftermath of an incident where it has happened.

I’ve been in a building that was hit by a car that had had a handbrake fail. That was fun.

Also my neighbour was run over by her own car when the handbrake failed. Also fun.

Needless to say I park in gear.

Doubletroublemummy2 · 24/04/2023 01:56

I was taught to put your feet on Clutch and brake whenever starting the car. If you did this it would make no difference if it was in gear or not

Gruf · 24/04/2023 02:28

I park in gear. My handbrake failed 10 years ago and being in gear helped

i have witnessed a serious incident. A handbrake failing and a car rolling into a climbing frame. Lucky not to kill someone

CoozudBoyuPuak · 24/04/2023 03:53

Depends on the age of the car.

My car is an automatic, everything that happens in the gearbox is controlled by a computer and it's physically impossible to park the car without the gear stick being in the "P" position which isn't quite te same as "in gear". You literally cannot remove the key from the ignition with the gear stick in any other position, and you can't start the car with the stick in any other position.

Nevertheless despite driving this car for the last 10 years I still attempt to wiggle the gear stick from side to side before turning the key because that is so deeply ingrained.

I haven't voted yabu because if it's your main car then other drivers should respect your preferences and not be so didactic or infantilising as to impose their own preferences on you, but ywbvvvu to start any H-shift manual car without first checking it was in neutral.

Mousey23 · 24/04/2023 07:09

I've had a handbrake failure twice. Many years ago, older car, handbrake cable had become loose and I didn't pull it up hard enough. Rolled a few yards when I left it at a petrol pump on a slight incline and hit the car behind. I'd filled up with petrol without it moving and then off it went when I was in paying!

Two years ago, nearly new car, with electronic handbrake, left at motorway services, came back to find it gone, it had rolled quite a way to the bottom of the car park and stuck itself into the front of a parked coach with quite a bit of rear end damage. From googling, it had been subject to a recall in the US but not the UK over a fault in the software which meant the handbrake didn't apply if the button was pulled at a precise point in the shutdown sequence - the manufacturer in the UK wouldn't even talk to me about this.

I always park in gear now!

HollyBerri · 24/04/2023 07:38

I always park in gear but love in a very hilly area. I know someone who had a handbrake fail at work and rolled into another car. I think (but maybe wrong) it was really cold & it loosened when it cooled down. I always check its in neutral before i start a car.

C4tastrophe · 24/04/2023 07:42

I always park in gear and on the flat never use the handbrake. If someone bumps me I want the car to yield a bit to avoid damage.

lljkk · 24/04/2023 08:05

OP says she drives an automatic.
So why is she talking about parking in gear or not? :confused
I was taught to always put an automatic into Park before turning engine off.

out of interest, why does anyone think it's BAD to put a stickshift car in gear before turning engine off?

Don't forget to curb the wheels on a hill, too.

AwaaFaeHom · 24/04/2023 08:20

lljkk · 24/04/2023 08:05

OP says she drives an automatic.
So why is she talking about parking in gear or not? :confused
I was taught to always put an automatic into Park before turning engine off.

out of interest, why does anyone think it's BAD to put a stickshift car in gear before turning engine off?

Don't forget to curb the wheels on a hill, too.

Because occasionally she drives her husband car - and he leaves it in gear.

She has an issue with her husband parking own car in gear.

IamSuperTired · 24/04/2023 08:21

In gear unless completely flat. As v few roads or parking areas are completely flat, even if they look it, good idea to park in gear! That said, unless it's a steep hill I usually forget to park in gear! 🤣 Car's not rolled away yet ...

WisherWood · 24/04/2023 08:30

out of interest, why does anyone think it's BAD to put a stickshift car in gear before turning engine off?

Have you ever driven a manual? You'll stall the engine if you do that.

lljkk · 24/04/2023 08:40

Keep foot on clutch until engine is turned off.