To think allergy mum is OTT

[Boogiewoogieanddance]

I genuinely don't know if I am or not, this is a genuine question as I thankfully haven't got any experience in having a child with serious allergies. I am, of course, happy to do what I can to prevent a reaction.

There is a child in my DDs class who is allergic to a list of things so we aren't allowed them in pack lunches. That's fine, I have no issue as I know kids can be careless and gross about their food hygiene. My issue is with the nuts, literally anything that says "may contain nuts" or "may contain traces of peanuts" is not allowed... if the occasional time I don't realise and send something (These are not nut flavoured things or anything with nuts in the ingredients, but I assume are just made in the same factory as nuts.) it is sent home unwrapped and she hasn't been allowed to eat it.

But is it really possible that an allergy can be so served that something that may contain nuts could cause a reaction if opened in the same room.

Many thanks!

Completely ridiculous.

As others have said, my DC carries epipens due to a peanut allergy but eats may contains with the agreement of her specialist as it's so restrictive to avoid and the risk is very low.

No nuts if it's an airborne allergy is fair enough. No may contains is too restrictive and difficult.

That’s a complete overreaction. Labelling foods as ‘may contain traces of nuts’ is just a liability covering exercise by corporations. It is no reflection of the actual risk in consuming the product. I know people with severe nut allergies who eat these products because they are not dangerous.

Under these rules, a parent can send in a cheese sandwich made on the same cutting board as the peanut butter toast their child had for breakfast with no issue. But nut-free packaged crackers with a ‘traces’ warning label are banned.

Trying to control the environment is never going to be successful with allergies. You need to educate and empower the child. FWIW I have a severe food allergy myself.

It does sound OTT and my DD 4 has a nut and egg allergy. I have other children who do eat items that say may contain nuts. I allow this because these are food they’ve had in past before we found out she had allergies. She also ate things in past that said “may contain nuts” and didn’t have a reaction. She took a severe reaction when her dad gave her a spoonful of his crunchy nut cornflakes. This was first and last time he’s ever done that. She also took a reaction to scrambled egg and then when she handled an whole egg one day at my mums. She can eat cooked eggs in like cakes etc but not a fried egg boiled etc. Her consultant at the hospital explained that the eggs in cakes are mixed with that many ingredients and cooked at such a high temp she is no longer eating an egg. DD carries two epipens everywhere she goes. If she did come into contact with an egg or nut that we couldn’t prevent and she took a reaction then we can deal with it.

Our school is nut free I know off one child in their with nut allergy needs epipen so very serious allergy, we get told no nuts but never been told no may contain nuts and the dinner ladies don't check lunch bags so even if I sent something In (I wouldnt) with nuts in nobody would know.

If it's may contain then it may have nuts in. Which to a severely allergic child, could kill them. I'm not sure why you dont see an issue with that?

It is AIBU so it's just attracting trolls, surely people can't be that thick.

Allergies are very serious and anyone who has ever witnessed a true anaphylaxis would understand. A lot of people haven’t, thankfully, and people do exaggerate their allergies or call intolerance to foods, allergies.
This leads to a lot of confusion.
If the mother says her child has a true allergy to nuts, believe her and do the right thing. Read the labels of all foods going in your child’s lunch box. It’s not difficult. If there’s a warning, it may contain nuts, it’s a no for two reasons:

1. Peanut spores are air borne and can be inhaled, causing anaphylaxis, which can be fatal.
2. Children share food, even when requested not to. Or the child with the allergy may touch the food. This can be fatal, keep that in mind at all times.

This family have to live with this fear every hour of every day. They have to check labels of all foods all the time and eating out is a mine field.

So, it’s not a huge ask that parents of kids in the class check the ingredients and warnings on food labels.

YABVU

It would be nice if that were true - however, having been glutened by things that had no indication at all that they were manufactured in a dirty place where they clearly weren't as careful about cleaning as they should have been (and I'm not even going to start on the times where gluten free stuff is withdrawn weeks later because they had been dusted with flour), I'd say May Contain is more shorthand for 'if we're having an off day, don't come after us for money to pay for the funeral'.

Do the parents have a plan for secondary school? Because if you’ve been doing this for six years (as per your previous post) then the kids must be year 5/6….

As long as they don't share the food it isn't a real risk.

I can understand the parents and the schools concerns as it sounds an extreme allergy . I doubt a school could properly control the environment to the extent required though as they’d need to ensure no one in close vicinity to the child had eaten anything containing nuts before school, that all food brought in was manufactured in a nut free kitchen and prepared in a nut free home environment prior to it going into a lunch bag. It’s completely unworkable I think.

It is an easy enough accommodation to make to enable a child to attend school safely, yabu

Child with a nut allergy here. That is insane. Nut free yes, eg a big no to Nutella, M&M peanuts. but the ‘may contain traces’ is not doable, firms like marks and Spencer’s have just updated their ingredients list to say this (lazy fu*kers).

I’m not sure I believe that a staff member is checking every single packed lunch item….

There is no way I’d have trusted the staff at my DC’s primary school to check and no way I’d send a child to school if their allergy was that severe.

Its really tricky as pretty much everything nowadays says 'may contain traces' so they're effectively banning an extremely high proportion of foods. If your kitchen isnt 100% full of completely nut free foods for a substantial amount of time then anything home made 'may contain traces' too. I dont know what the answer is, but it's a step much further than not packing a peanut butter sandwich and probably a lot more expensive and time consuming for most people. At least the school are being vigilant and managing to weed out the foods that have slipped through the net

So, it’s not a huge ask that parents of kids in the class check the ingredients and warnings on food labels.

Actually, I think it's a huge ask (and again, I'm the mum who checks the epipens are in the school bag every morning). No may contains rules out a huge number of products, which is a complete pain in the arse for most houses but will be more problematic again for others if there are children with other dietary requirements or issues like restricted eating due to ASD.

No nuts, sure (although it's not advised and wouldn't be my choice).

@DingsBum Was having this conversation with DP earlier - DS’ nursery is nut free but he was going to give him peanut butter for breakfast tomorrow morning 🤷🏻‍♀️ (I’m allergic and am leaving for work early) but what about the kids at nursery … I don’t know how you can control so many variables though.

ALSO it does make me wonder whether all these nut free places is contributing to more allergies?

Also, but that mother needs to educate her child. My 5 year old knows never to take food from others.

Lots of companies over label about nuts to protect their arses, so YANBU.

Having said that, I have friends with nut allergies, one is so severe that if someone ate nuts hours ago and comes into the same room as my friend, she gets an immediate and severe throat constriction and needs an epipen shot or two.

Noone wants to be responsible for someone's death, so please read labels and stick to food that doesn't have a nut label. I appreciate this is restrictive and may prove difficult, so sending you good luck.

This, plus pretty much everything from a store says "may contain nuts". That would make me quite nervous as I would not want to be the cause of any reaction. I don't even know how this is possible or realistic. Poor child, must be stressful for the mother

Sorry Nrtft as reading and getting ready to sleep but wanted to say something.

2 DCs perfectly healthy, 3rd dc ok in the beginning but over the years have developed allergies, 2 requiring hospital admissions for allergic reactions to common foods in our house. We went from eating a favourite food to not being able to touch the food without severe reactions including swelling and blistering around mouth and airways, and that was by a simple touch. A&E insisted on eliminating anything containing the allergens especially as the allergy had developed and got worse. Since then allergies are continuing to get worse.

For the most part it’s just avoiding certain foods, including very basic natural foods like fruit & veg, but some foods have very strong air born allergens like nuts, so both schools and manufacturers can’t take the slightest risk. It’s why airlines banned nuts on planes, regardless of the plane size the allergen could literally kill someone. Luckily nuts seem ok for our dc but seafood and fish is not allowed, we don’t have it in the house and actively avoid seafood restaurants, and seaside restaurants because right now we don’t know and can’t risk how severe the allergy is. Like nuts shellfish can’t be deadly just by breathing it in.

It took a long time to get testing, Drs ignored us until A&e admissions and we’ve been in limbo since covid with backlogs. I list all DCs allergies and intolerances, and although we are relaxed at home with some things, schools can’t afford to be. They have to put all children’s safety first as well as cover themselves.

Right now we are still waiting on more testing , until then our DCs school won’t take any chances given previous allergic reactions.

Because it isn’t “may contain nuts” in the sense of you might find that your cheddar cheese stick actually has a few peanuts there that weren’t in the recipe, it’s “may contain traces of” in the sense that the cheddar cheese stick is produced in a factory that three days earlier packaged some soft cheese wrapped in nuts on a different production line.

If your allergies are so severe that you can’t be in the room with a “may contain traces of” cheese stick or your classmate who ate aforementioned “traces of” cheese stick, you aren’t eating/drinking at Starbucks, full of almond milk, almond croissants, fruit and nut mix, peanut butter cups and a whole bunch more nutty stuff.

I guarantee you no one else is deliberating over peanut butter at breakfast. Give it, and brush teeth after if you will feel more at ease.

Kids share foods all the time regardless of rules in the classroom. That’s one of the problems.

I have an extremely severe peanut allergy, but as I do not want to starve, I long ago made peace with having to take the tiny risk of eating products (basically anything manufactured) that says: ‘may contain traces of nuts’. One thing to prevent any product with nuts in being brought into school, quite another to limit the intake of all the other children so radically when there is basically
no risk.