I can’t get healthy

[fatnfedup12]

I’ve been struggling to get healthy and lose weight for nearly 5 years now. I don’t know what to do. I’ve attempted everything: keto (I just couldn’t do it and made me so miserable), meal replacement, just eating in moderation, plus many more. I just don’t know what to do. I hide myself away and not live my life. My milestone birthday came and went and I felt to fat to go out. I’m so utterly fed up. Just spend last 3 hours bingeing and now feel so out of control and fed up. If I lost 1 stone I’d be so happy. Please give me some advice on what to do.

Divorce your shit husband. I think you'll find everything in your life improves massively. That goes for your children as well.

The no1 reason most binges occur is as a result of restricting food intake. So to start addressing any other triggers/underlying reasons, you need to step away from diets and deprivation and make sure your body is actually getting the nutrition it needs. Get this on some kind of even keel and work from there. So - three meals a day, no forgetting to eat or drinking replacement shakes or counting calories/whatever. Include protein at every one as a minimum requirement about what the meal should consist of. Treat your body well. the better quality food you consume the less the urge to binge as a result of lack of nutrition will be - ie if you eat breakfast cereal for every meal you are probably still going to feel binge because you haven’t had what you need.

once you are doing this comfortably, then sitting with feelings, journaling, trying to find alternative ways of satisfying what it is you really need when you want to binge can happen. It does involve letting go of the desire to lose weight - which is hard, but think of it as a temporary measure to get you to a better place 💕

Do you exercise? I know it's been asked but can't see your answer.

Your problem is you're doing diets. The mindset of a diet is that it will fail. That's the point of them, so they make money.

Eat clean, get your body sweaty and a bit out of breath regularly and don't cut out entire foodgroups or do daft shakes. They have their place but don't rely on them.

Ultimately you have to put the work in and be consistent. Don't expect miracles and give up because you're not seeing the results you want fast enough and stop laying blame on things not in your control.

Great posts from @sleepwhenidie and @gamerchick 👏🏻

I lost 5 stone over lock down. I have childhood trauma, no support, disabled, useless husband etc, I basically found that the one thing I could control was how healthy I made my body. I took up exercise, slept well, quit sugar etc, made huge changes. Like Adele says, I don’t cry anymore, I sweat.

Do one thing, everyday. Don’t think about “one stone to lose” or “I just need to replace this meal with that meal”. Just think about the day ahead of you, This is about your relationship with yourself. Do one day at a time. Have a bad day, forget it, have a good one the day after. Consistency wins in every single one of these diets that have been mentioned.

Thank you everyone, amazing advice thank you. No I don’t excercise. I do have a bike and a step at home plus a twist and shape thingy from Argos but I don’t use them. someone suggested 10 mins a day I think I could do that. I’m gonna start from tomorrow. Feel like crap I’m sat here at 11:14pm eating and crying. Thank you all for your support x

Don't use water in place of milk. I did that with supermarket shakes cutting the cals to 140 per shake, I did 3 shakes a day and I got those papercut sores in the corner of my mouth within a week. My b12 was 288 when I had it checked and my vit d was too low. You need the bare minimum of 600-800 cals a day.

I’m starting from today too. No alcohol for me til I go on holiday in 4 months. Husband joining my gym today so he can help me stay motivated. Using carb manager to log my food. Good luck I will update before I go on holiday in August. We can do this. Like PP have said I am focusing on changes I can maintain usually I’ll start 5km walk, weights and swim all in one day then I’m knackered and give up because it was possible 25 years ago but not now I have to adapt to my age and energy levels now.

Just commit to moving every day for whatever amount of time feels manageable - that could be a ten minute walk (but try and get outside, it’s so much better for mental health), it could be an hour swim or a 20 minute online yoga or something. Try framing it in the same way as brushing your teeth - every day, some movement-but give yourself total choice about what it is so again, it isn’t about burning calories or meeting some minimum level. Try and find what you enjoy and acknowledge that you may well feel differently every day about what is desirable/possible.