To not find it easier to look after two children than one

[Pynappel]

My DD (4) had a friend (also 4) and his grandma over recently. Friends Grandma said a couple of times how it's always easier to look after 2 at once because they entertain each other...

I did not find this at all! They argued, we had to meticulously divide the Lego pile, and we attempted a board game where they both gave up dramatically after about 1 minute. We went out, they ran off shouting and laughing and refusing to come back. The friend called his grandma and DD a poo poo head, and DD called me a poo poo head (not something she'd ever do normally).

All in all it was a tiring afternoon and definitely not easier than one with just mine! The kids both request to see each other all the time though. Is this what playdates are usually like at (only just) 4? Is it an age thing or a personality thing? Parties and trips out are usually fine.

She starts school in September so I'm feeling quite nervous of having school friends over! Please tell me it'll be better?

4 is still too young for the whole ‘more children = easier’ equation. Once they become more self sufficient, it’s definitely easier as you have to play with / entertain one whereas two or more entertain each other!

I have two DC and just being able to leave them to their own devices together makes my life A LOT easier. I’d feel guilty leaving one by themselves for long periods of time!

Depends on the kids and how they are feeling each day.

I have two close in age so I have two most if the time. They are best friends and worst enemies

I find it lots easier when I have DS 3 and his friend comes ato play or tags along for the day compared to him being alone. He's an only and loved the company and its great for him to have another friend his age to bounce ideas off and play with instead of wanting to play with me or show me something.

Obviously sometimes they disagree or fall out as all children do but overall yes I'd agree with the grandma that it's easier having DS and his mate together.

Definitely easier to have 2 IME, despite the moments where they're both causing absolute havoc in 2 parts of the house at once.

I had a singleton for 10 years and then 2 together. 2 together is a dream.

It possibly also depends on the child though - DS2 is extremely self sufficient and happy in his own company, so I think him as a singleton would be easier than two together. DS1 is almost dependent on company and approval so would hang off me constantly wanting to be entertained and drove me mad. He is now on the phone literally constantly to his mates.

Maybe the friend was like my DS1 and your DD is like my DS2!

It depends upon the children, the activity and how well they get on with each other and enjoy what they are doing. I think it often is easier to have more than one.

Honestly would find two 4 year olds easier than one any day of the week.

Probably a bit of an age thing and a bit of a personality thing, I think these 2 do wind each other up a bit/lot! I'm keeping my fingers crossed things will be better by the time she wants friends over after school.

Can anyone tell me how old theirs were when you could not constantly hover on a playdate and not worry about it? 😅

Yeah, but you didn't just have 2 kids. You were hosting Grandma too. That upsets the dynamics.
2 school aged kids, no extra adults, is easier than just your kid (usually!).

DC1 is in reception and at the beginning of the year play dates were very much hovering and now we’ve reached the point where they disappear upstairs and play happily (and harmoniously!) together most of the time. DC1 turns 5 in a few weeks but most friends seem to be at the older end of the year so I’d say 4.5-5.5.

At that age playdates are often quite drama-filled IME! It gets easier when they just scamper off upstairs and leave you be (that has happened with DD from about 5.5)

That is a good point! I think it was a bit different with it being a grandparent rather than a parent too.

Usually much easier by mid-Primary. Although if there is a problem it’s harder to solve. But if DSs have a single friend round then these days all I do is provide snacks and drinks at suitable intervals. Bliss!

At that age I found it easier to take them to a small park or soft play to be honest, less hassle. It gets easier

It really depends on the children - the friendships you want to heavily invest in are the ones where most of the time they play nicely and you have a cup of tea. If you have to hover, and it’s not just a grumpy one off then that’s a bad sign.

Much easier when they are 7/8/9 and actually know how to play. Never did play dates at home until that age as they'd always end up fighting! Or falling out or other child would be in the kitchen with me 😬

Only had other kids at a park or outside. Drop them off home on way back!

Two of your own yes, one friend and your own no other ppls kids are annoying lol

About 4/5? I'd happily let DS2 and a friend go off and play in another room now, he's 4.5.

I think if your kid is boisterous then it's a relief to have someone else around to entertain them in a fairly safe way rather than them constantly mithering you or trying to entertain themselves in dangerous ways. It doesn't matter if the other child is your own or someone else's.

If your child is the sensible one then it will probably always be more work to have a boisterous friend around even if they are playing together because they're likely to intice your child into trouble!