DH disclosing my financials with his family members?

[Justwantbetter]

So when I met DH I found out I had a ccj I never knew anything about it because I moved a lot in my teens early twenties. It was for a train fare, even though I paid for my ticket I still got a fine because I didn’t pay when I boarded. I paid at station that I was travelling too. I didn’t realise I was being fined when I was being asked questions just to add.

I was so embarrassed about it and hid it from DH for years I probably should have fought it but I didn’t bother.

He must have told his dad about it before as I wasn’t able to go on the tenancy and we had to get a guarantor.

Now BIL made a joke the other day when he was applying for a house and said “s” this one’s for you “CCJS” and started laughing.

I then pulled this up to DH on the way home as I felt so embarrassed. He is saying to me that he never mentioned it to BIL. DH brought it up again and asked BIL how he knows and he said I told him.

I’ve never told anyone about it because I’m so embarrassed so that’s a huge lie.

As if it’s not embarrassing enough I’ve got his families members obviously discussing it.

AIBU to be hurt? I feel like I can’t trust anyone. Please tell me if I’m being over sensitive.

No. You are not being over sensitive.

Secrets between spouses should be just that.

Do he and his family respect you OP.

I wouldn't feel like he had my back.

Did your DHs dad act as guarantor, is that why he told him?

In which case its your Fil who is in the wrong here for telling your Bil surely?

Although technically CCJs are public information so there is the possibility your Bil found out himself

No dad wasn’t a guarantor, I don’t know why he told him to be honest.

Now him and BIL have had 2 conversations about it in the last week. I’ve never mentioned it to anyone.

Ah fair enough then no it sounds like here has been far too much gossiping about your private finances which quite frankly should have stayed between you and your DH

If your sister in law had a ccj for a train ticket she didn't know about, would you care? I'd say you wouldn't. Your bil feels like that. It's unfortunate that he found out by someone blabbing but it's done now. Best just to style it out with a crack at useless British Rail. I do think its a slight over reaction to think you can't trust anyone and I'm sure this feeling will pass.

Your BIL sounds unpleasant, it's none of his business. I don't understand why they are making such a big deal of it. And (in the nicest possible way) you are too. It is just one of those things, could have happened to anyone. It's just an annoyance, you didn't do anything bad or hurt anyone. Don't ccjs expire after a few years anyway?

When you think about the things some people get away with (and quite high up people too!), do you honestly think you should feel ashamed?

Have a word with your DP and get him to tell family members not to be so pathetic, as it embarrasses you. Try to put it behind you.

Your DH needs to keep his pie hole shut about you and your BIL seems petty and mean.

It was a train ticket, not a robbery or murder.