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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask if you constantly feel physically uncomfortable if youre overweight?

52 replies

polkaday · 16/04/2023 23:41

What can you do about this?

This is me. Don't really want to talk numbers as fear people will dismiss me because technically my BMI is in the green healthy zone but on the very edge of it (having normally been on the other end of the green). Obviously gained weight. I have stomach rolls and jiggly thighs. High-waisted anything is uncomfortable. Or jeans in general. I used to be toned. Is this just normal aging, fat going around the middle? I constantly feel like I've had a big meal (even when hungry) just feel extra "stuff" around the middle. Have tried all sorts of diets/exercise. Physically holding the excess (skin/fat etc) and pulling it away feels better. My arms/legs dont bother me, its literally the middle, almost feel like I'm being suffocated, have a constant awareness at the moment.
Plan to continue trying to shed these extra weight (gained about 8kg) but is this what others that have gained weight feel like? Never feel light anymore?

OP posts:
Astralitzia · 17/04/2023 17:59

I sort of know what you mean. I know I've put on a few too many pounds when I'm lying on my side in bed and I can feel my stomach touching the bed sheet, when usually only my side would be touching it. I wouldn't call it discomfort, but it's a strange "aware" feeling of that extra weight. I don't know if I'm describing this properly!

strawberryseed · 17/04/2023 18:09

I feel exactly the same as OP, I even wanted to ask the same question. I've upped my game with my workouts and diet so I'll report if I'm more comfortable again when the pounds get lost.

BeautifulWar · 17/04/2023 18:23

You feel how you feel - forget BMI or stones/kgs on the scales. All bodies are different, carry weight differently and have an optimum 'size' for them. We all feel differently to one another, feeling good or bad is purely subjective.

What kind of food do you eat? Would you say it's a clean diet? Salty, processed foods can leave you feeling horrendous.

Divorcedalongtime · 17/04/2023 19:16

@countr12 my doctor suggested, after various other tests came back fine that it could be a hernia. I’m waiting for a hospital appointment too.

polkaday · 17/04/2023 20:09

@LoobyDop Yes that is interesting. This is also the largest I've ever been at a BMI of about 24. I wonder if I'd only feel worse if I gained more.. I dont want to find out. Agree re: comfort too. I'd only wear high waisted clothes now that are mega high waisted to the point its beyond the fat squishy middle and soft materials (no chance would I went skinny jeans at belly button level for example).

@NeverDropYourMooncup Maybe. I used to be able to wear anything - eg tight stiff jeans and a crop top and not feel any discomfort. There is no chance Id do that now. This change hasnt exactly been sudden but I look back at photos from 10 years ago and I was comfortable in clothing like that. Bodycon dresses etc. I deliberately wear more 'floaty' things now.

@MyMachineAndMe Oh bless you, that doesnt sound fun!

@Mephisneon Interesting, maybe thats what it is. Perhaps if I lose a few pounds i'll feel better relatively (even though ill still be heavier than Im used to). I am trying to lose.

@Astralitzia Yes! this is it, I think youve nailed the feeling I was trying to describe. Like, I'm not in pain ever. I've not given birth or have hernias or anything like that. I just have a squishy tummy, which when I lay on my side like you said I notice it touching the bed. Suddenly conscious of DH giving my a cuddle knowing hes got to wrap around all this excess of me. Whereas before I was flat as a pancake. It certainly isnt bad enough to have rolls opposing eachother normally, just when I bend. I've noticed in the mirror now I've got creases at the sides of waist form, like a roll forming wheeras before there was nothing there.

@strawberryseed Do you feel the same stuff as me? are you my kind of BMI? Please do tell me if you figure out a way to feel better! Right now for example, I'm hungry (having not eaten since lunch time) yet I feel like I shouldnt be because I'm squishy around the middle. Before, after a big meal I mayhave got a "food baby" but then hours later before the next meal time I'd be totally flat, I'd feel hungry and probably look it to whereas now I always look like I've just eaten?

@BeautifulWar Absolutely agree, this for my body is really unhealthy I think. I need to lose about 8kg to feel good. I have 20g of porridge for breakfast (sometimes with some fruit), for lunch I'll have a sandwich or left over dinner (pasta etc) and for dinner we usually have carb/veg/protein. DH is a personal trainer/athletic so we tend to eat really well. Don't really drink. We get a takeaway or eat out once a week (anything we fancy, know its unhealthy). Over the course of a week probably have 1 pack of crisps and maybe 2 portions of dessert (bar of chocolate or a piece of cake). Have gone through periods of time where thats been cut out entirely and carbs replaced with salads. Also skipped breakfast to achieve 16:8. None of it seems to make much of a difference.

OP posts:
strawberryseed · 17/04/2023 20:13

Yes, exactly like that op. If I can manage to drop back down to my usual weight I'll let you know if I feel comfortable again!

DoesItHaveKosovo · 17/04/2023 20:14

Yes. I’m a lot heavier and flabbier than I used to be a few years ago & the difference is insane. I feel uncomfortable a lot.

Wasywasydoodah · 17/04/2023 20:16

I was long term overweight and never felt uncomfortable at the time. I didn’t notice it. But then i lost loads of weight. Now, when i’ve pigged out (eg on holiday) and put a few pounds on i can feel the rolls of fat or jiggling a bit then it feels awful. I think it’s the gain that does it. Always gives me the motivation to lose it again.

polkaday · 17/04/2023 20:21

@Wasywasydoodah Yes, thats it. I feel better in myself in a physical sense not psychologically on the days I've not eaten much - skipped breakfast or had a light porridge etc than after a big meal. Obviously enjoy a nice tasty meal but then afterwards feel so uncomfortable. Work is a bit manic at the moment so stopped with the fasting as I was just looking forward to lunchtime. Perhaps the answer is eating but small amounts so that I can enjoy that feeling hungry for the next meal feeling rather than the constantly feel a bit full but know its time to eat. Its really weird, I feel hungry and full at the same time now (like right now, my tummy is rumbling its definitely past my dinner time and dinner is ready but I just feel a bit heavy)

OP posts:
Babooshka1992 · 17/04/2023 20:52

Since having a baby my belly is flabbier and hangs down a little bit. Like a roll that hangs. It’s really uncomfortable and I’m having to put cream on (under?) it twice a day. I’m the same weight as before baby now so it seems to be here to stay, quite worried tbh.

ThisNameIsNotAvailable · 17/04/2023 20:57

polkaday · 17/04/2023 00:17

thanks everyone!

@Divorcedalongtime yep, worse when I'm sitting down and can feel the rolls touching eachother (feel disgusted with myself typing that out). Feels comfiest lying flat/standing than anything that requires bending and fat touching other bits of fat.

@Saltired I'm very short though (5'2) and a petite build. So 8kg is quite a lot for me I think, not sure how much is in my head but I went from looking very slight to fat in the middle basically. Not fussed about clothes sizes (still fit into size 8 dresses/tops/jumpers but stopped wearing trousers/jeans, leggings are fine though).
Yep good plan, I try to have veg, cooked meals and no junk too (I think my portions are too big and I do let myself have a takeaway or eat about once a week).

@Cherryblossoms85 Thank you, I did and noticed no difference! Felt a bit better perhaps but didnt lose any weight. I did one meal a day for a bit (OMAD) which definitely worked but I couldn't sustain that, then went down to 16:8 for months but lost nothing, now eat normal 3 meals a day and gained nothing.

@EmmaEmerald Thanks, I'll try peppermint. I think I'm just hyperaware of it perhaps.

@curlymacv Yes, I wonder if theres a psychological element to it too. I used to be able to (if I wanted) breath my tummy in and look basically very slim but now even if I do that theres too much fat around my tum. I think I need to work harder with the exercise/weight loss.

@Hubblebubble DOMs is weirdly lovely, almost makes me feel like I must have worked out well.

@Lulabelleblue Thanks I'm early 30s so hopefully its not anything sinister.

@FatGirlSwim Hopefully not menopause or anything sinister at my age. I wish I could just cut out all the extra bit of me/fat from around the middle. Just find it annoying that it just wont shift despite eating well and exercising. Find that I want to wear baggy clothes to hide now.

I think I’m you! I wonder if it is the fact that it’s a change which makes it feel so uncomfortable

JMSA · 17/04/2023 20:58

I always know it's time to lose weight, when my Converse become a pain in the arse to put on!

crackofdoom · 17/04/2023 21:07

It may be weight gain, it may be psychological, but what you are saying about always feeling full even when you're hungry sounds a bit concerning to me, and you should consider seeing your GP. Don't want to alarm you, but read up on ovarian cancer symptoms.

Switchwitch · 17/04/2023 21:11

I'm the same. 5ft 4. Technically ok bmi but have gained 10lbs in the last 6 months. Now on a diet and exercise regimen because my trousers all feel right, not in the stomach but in the legs. Arms are starting to feel tighter too and I found I was switching from leggings to oversized joggers at home. It was time to do something about it!

RachelGreep87 · 17/04/2023 21:13

Hubblebubble · 16/04/2023 23:57

I'm a stone overweight and the only discomfort I feel is really bad DOMs (delayed onset muscle soreness) from working out 8 times a week every week. I don't know if the DOMs will be less excruciating once I'm at a healthy weight/built more muscle, or if this is just normal.

DOMS really should not be excruciating

RollingInTheCreek · 17/04/2023 21:19

100% know what you mean. I have put in around 10kg over the past 3 years and feel hyper aware- feel like my bum jiggles and bounces when I walk and when I’m sat down my stomach rolls almost feel suffocating f sometimes. Again I’m only just inside the ‘unhealthy’ bmi range. I’ve started the 16:8 diet around 6 weeks ago and already dropped some weight and feel 100 x better already.

Hubblebubble · 18/04/2023 16:31

@RachelGreep87 when it's very bad I sort of limp up and down the stairs and it hurts to lift my toddler.

restisall · 18/04/2023 16:58

I gained a fair bit of weight one year which put me just into an overweight BMI and my thighs chafed in the summer, which I found extremely painful.

That said, I don’t think that’s exclusive to being overweight, I have friends who are slim whose thighs rub together because they have different builds.

DriedFlowersLiveForever · 18/04/2023 17:00

I am currently 17st and 5'10 - I don't feel anything like you do!
I am aware of the weight obviously but not uncomfortable.
Perhaps you need some tests to see if anything else is going on?

Shouldbedoing · 18/04/2023 17:08

Overweight discomfort to me means sweaty underboobs on hot days, and being overdressed in warm weather because of outgrowing summer clothes and declining to replace them. Bloating warrants a GP appointment if it's not IBS or overindulgence related.

Moopyhereagain · 18/04/2023 17:11

How old are you? I’m the same - bigger than I would like but not really an issue. I’m 50 and just can’t really tolerate carbs anymore , think it’s a menopause thing. I do eat them sometimes but I def feel bloated afterwards

MrsCarson · 18/04/2023 17:14

I've now tipped over into the overweight section on the BMI. I've never been this heavy in my life, even the day before delivering a baby. I'm getting uncomfortable and not happy at all.
I have to get my act together and go on a strict diet and exercise more. bit hard at the moment with my broken foot

polkaday · 18/04/2023 20:27

Thanks everyone for the concern, but it is more like a hyperawareness than an actual feeling of being unwell. It's definitely positional - I'm fine standing up/laying down. But sitting and then bending over to grab something off the floor or even just leaning forward I notice tummy on tummy action (like fat touching fat) which just makes me feel so uncomfortable. Or laying down on my side and feeling my excess tum fall to the side (yuck).

Honestly if you saw me you wouldnt suspect a thing, I'm probably slimmer than the next person given the UK avg is about 12-14 I think? I'm a size 8 for top half and 10 bottom (I am short/petite build though so I'm certainly not slender, definitely a bit of barrel in the middle, obviously talking relative terms given I used to be totally slim). I now dress in a way that you wouldn't know I'm carrying this excess weight in the middle. It needs to go though.

OP posts:
ThisNameIsNotAvailable · 19/04/2023 06:31

I’ve skin read this so may have missed some posts but it sounds to me like the commonality here is that it’s where people are moving into carrying extra weight that they’re noticing it and feeling uncomfortable. Where people have been carrying extra weight for a while they aren’t noticing. Logically wouldn’t this mean that those in the second category have become more accustomed to it?

eurochick · 19/04/2023 06:42

I feel similar OP. I've also been in the middle of healthy BMI all my adult life. I've now hit perimenopause and the weight is piling on to put me at the top of healthy BMI. It has all gone on my belly. It makes me feel uncomfortable and I hate that I can feel it touching the bedsheet like another poster mentioned.