Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if my child is just a mini Lucifer or is this actually what it's like?

35 replies

WitteringWattering · 16/04/2023 17:05

During the terrible twos.

Sort of light-hearted but also not.

I'm honestly starting to wonder if it's just my son or if it actually is this bad for everyone?

My son is two and I feel like he was placed on god's green earth to see how far I can be pushed.

Today for example he has SHOUTED, no, SCREECHED more like whenever he hasn't gotten his own way. I try so hard to ignore it but it's embarrassing when we are in public especially. If the screeching doesn't work he will launch objects at you instead. We do time out for that but a lot of the time he just finds it funny (very occasionally it will work and calm him down).

Another thing recently is wanting to take all his clothes off at home, nappy included. Everything must come off.

My house looks like an utter tip constantly and I don't get a single second of peace until he goes to bed, minus a short nap at lunch time).

I've heard about terrible twos and was expecting difficulty but honestly, I'd say I enjoy having a toddler about 5% of the time at the moment. He is so SO difficult. Days out start nice and cute and quickly deteriorate into tantrums and awkwardness and screaming / hitting / bribing with food/ me and DH tense and not talking. Is it just me? Is this what having a two year old is like? Why do people have more?!

OP posts:
Inthebathagain · 16/04/2023 20:51

@PonkyPonky That book never met my daughter 🤣 Stubborn as a stubborn thing.

Those techniques never worked with her, as she'd rather miss out on something she really wanted than do what she was being asked to do.

Began age 1... Continued into her teenage years and into today

My son... Any behaviour management would have worked in the toddler years as he was as placid as a goldfish.

I do love a "this book will change your life" recommendation though, now that I'm out of that season of life and can see how the cash cows keep on turning 🤣

chocopuffs · 17/04/2023 03:40

OP mine is 2.5 and I feel exactly the same! After a disaster of a day out on Saturday I was scouring Mumsnet for advice. My toddler is in the process of dropping her nap so the tiredness isn't helping but if she doesn't get her way the tantrums are pretty extreme. I think some toddlers just are more intense than others, and yours sounds very much like mine. It makes me question my parenting too but actually I think it's more an issue of personality - hopefully it'll translate into something brilliant as they get older Grin

Talulah29 · 17/04/2023 04:08

JMSA · 16/04/2023 17:33

I found the twos fine. The threes, well, that was a different story Grin

Sorry OP, it sucks as toddlers can be assholes Flowers

This!!! 🙈

123rainbow · 17/04/2023 04:45

SunnySaturdayMorning · 16/04/2023 17:43

The problem here is how you’re dealing with it. Time out doesn’t work and it doesn’t teach anything. Big reactions don’t work. “No” doesn’t work.

All behaviour is communication - he isn’t being naughty.

Any attention on a behaviour will reinforce that behaviour, so if you’re reacting to him and giving him attention when he does something you don’t like, he will repeat that behaviour.

You need to redirect, distract and role model appropriate behaviour. Praise the good, ignore the bad. Set firm, consistent boundaries and stick to them.

Agree with this.

Passthewine45 · 17/04/2023 04:45

I feel exactly the same OP. I think it tends to be more of a boy thing. But compared to all of my friends toddlers the same age, my son is off the charts - he gets so frustrated - we've had biting, hitting, kicking, pulling hair, screaming, throwing food/anything he can get his hands on. I even asked his nursery if they thought something was wrong but they said it's normal. He's now almost 2.5 and I'm seeing glimmers of hope, change. What didn't help is everyone assuming we aren't parenting properly. All kids are different, and you just need time. Things will improve.

toucaninjapan · 17/04/2023 05:08

My little banshee DD is exactly like this at the moment, she's also hitting and biting DH and me. She's also called me "stupid" (I guess she heard it at the nursery from some other kids as we've never called her that).
She's been like this for 2 weeks after we've changed our nursery in April, I think she's stressed a lot from the sudden change and just needs some time to get used to her new environment. Last year when we moved, she was stressed for a whole month so I'm bracing myself for a couple more weeks like this.
Is there anything that might be stressing your child out OP?

Pyui · 17/04/2023 05:09

I’m not yet totally there but my 16 month old is very strong willed and loves telling me no!

Sometimes she does shriek and screech but she can be distracted unless she is hungry or tired.

We sing about eleventy billion nursery rhymes a day- I’m quite used to just singing in public now as it keeps her happy.

We have lowered our expectations for days out- she doesn’t want to walk in a specific direction, she wants to explore! As we are getting into spring now it’s the ideal time to take him outdoors and just let him run around and play with sticks.

If she is doing something that can’t continue or isn’t safe I say ‘ darling mummy can’t let you do that, you might get hurt’ etc and remove her. When she then screams or screeches I say ‘sorry it’s annoying when I won’t let you do x or y, but we have to keep you safe’ and then suggest alternative activity- oooh what’s this a maraca!?

Im no guru but muddling by. I don’t subscribe to the gentle parenting ethos but I do think explanations help.

My daughter was distraught today after I wouldn’t let her have a chocolate egg she found but I said ‘oh sorry darling, shall we get you some other food though?’ - she was still upset but took my hand and walked with me and was very happy when I got out the hummus!

Saythreehailmarys · 17/04/2023 05:42

Hi, can I ask your advice please as I really like this philosophy. When your toddler is doing something they shouldn’t do (like repeatedly climbing on things they shouldn’t), what do you do in the moment?

Anderson2018 · 17/04/2023 07:44

I have one of those and time out absolutely does work for us and has to be done. There’s nothing wrong with putting them into another room so you can both calm down. The alternative is losing the plot with them which is far worse. Humans need alone time to deal with their emotions, I certainly do. If he’s generally tired and acting up because of something else then yeah I will comfort him, but if he’s been acting up all day and I’m close to exploding into a million pieces then time out is best for everyone involved. Your aloud to take a minute to breath yourself and process your own emotions. Your human. I’m 5 months pregnant as well so picking up screaming limp toddlers from supermarket floors etc is hell on earth so sometimes I’ve got to let him scream it out but it’s awful and I hate it. Also does your kid go to nursery? Mines goes 2 afternoons a week and it’s £40 and it’s so worth it, for my sanity but also he learns a lot of behaviours there and is a lot better with other kids recently, he still has his moments but I’ve noticed a big improvement. Good luck, hope it gets easier for you

New posts on this thread. Refresh page