Annoying phone call

[hollybobbles]

Woman, went to school with DH, based in a different continent, rang him yesterday out of the blue: she is going on a business trip to France, in May, what’s the weather like, what clothes to bring, would it be too cold for wearing dresses?

Should I have said something? E.g. Do you have google in America ? You had my number too, wouldn’t it be easier to ring someone who actually wear dresses?

that phone call went on for 40min, enquired about each other’s work, extended family children etc. after the opening question.

What would you say to her to him?

I wouldn't say anything but I'd think she was a bit dippy.. what did your DH say?

Did you sit and listen to their whole conversation? Odd. I'm guessing she's ringing him because he lives in/has been on business trips to France before so she thought she'd just ask a bit about the weather, culture etc. She rang you OH (and not you) presumably because she's closer to him.
What was it about the conversation that irked you? The content or that your husband is speaking to a woman?

Odd. Very odd. I would be asking who this woman is

Are only men allowed to phone your DH?

I don’t know a single person who would make an international telephone call to a school friend from years ago to ask for travel tips. Either she’s mad or they’ve been keeping in touch more recently and you don’t know about it.

They went to school together. Why would she ring you rather than him?

A phone call? Wow! How 20th Century! Massive red-flags here tbh!
You don't just "call someone" you went to school with outta the blue! Surely you Facebook message if it's been a while. Or at least Whatsapp if an old contact first?

A 40mins phone-call?

Sorry, I usually try to see the best in people - this situation stinks all the way across the Atlantic! I can smell it reeking from here!

Why would I say anything to either of them? My husband is free to talk to someone on the phone without my permission and I certainly wouldn't be listening in.

I agree, it's very odd to wonder what clothes to take on a trip and the first person that comes to mind to ask is a male school friend from years ago. It would still have been odd if she'd called the op instead of her husband.

Why would she phone you if she's his friend?

How did she get his phone number?

They obviously keep in touch if she has OPs number as well. I don't see anything odd about it at all!

Why do you have her number OP? Sounds to me like their friendship continued after school and you met her? If so then that’s not as random as a school friend calling.

Don’t people talk to their partners anymore? I’d start there if I was concerned, rather than take it to Mumsnet.

Merengutan - "international" phone calls are hardly the event - or cost - that they once were! most places are within my unlimited "free" minutes - for somewhere that wasn;t I counld make an internet call.
OP - sounds a bit paranoid if you partner not 'allowed' to speak to someone because they're female

I wouldn't say anything to either of them. Sounds like a pretty normal conversation.

More context needed really. I have an old school friend who lives abroad and if I was going to his country I would call him. I don't normally call him. A few texts a year but if I was in his area I'd call even though I've not seen him for 10 years since he moved. We were thick as thieves all through primary and high school and our going out years.
However, I wouldn't call someone I haven't spoken to since school.

A phone call? Wow! How 20th Century! Massive red-flags here tbh!

I phone people. What's a red flag about that?

It’s not the cost. It’s choosing to call someone that you went to school with years ago who is now on another continent - a fact which highlights the literal distance between this woman and OP’s partner - to ask them about which clothes to wear on your holiday. OP quite rightly finds it a bit odd.

The op doesn't say that they haven't spoken since school...

Ffs, she rang for a chat. Big fucking deal.

It was a WhatsApp voice call, checking if it’s bring-down-jacket weather would have been ok, it’s the whole drawn out discussion on should I wear dresses, skirts, would i be cold <~ a bit off,

they haven’t actually spoken for years(3+, that I know of ), there is a WhatsApp group of 10+ school friends and families, we are all in, low traffic, birthdays and Xmas messages. Our families used to hang out when they were living locally, and went on weekends away together, thought we were friends and I was expecting the fashion related Qs would come to me.

She might have gone through the friends list in order and he was the first one who happened to answer

But what exactly is your concern about? What's 'off' about it?

That she's trying to lure him into an affair talking about skirts? Hoping he'll jump on the Eurostar to meet her in May?

I doubt it.

@BuddyandTinsel thanks it helps talking over this, I think it’s not appropriate to discuss with the opposite sex, someone else’s husband, about wearing dresses and skirts, do you think I would be cold wearing a sleeveless dress?

DH was a little taken aback and responded Urrr you’d be fine in work attire

he is scruffy at best and would not be high on the list for fashion advice

That's a you problem. You don’t think it's appropriate for a woman to talk to a married man about a sleeveless dress? How ridiculous. She's not talking about her knickers is she.

yes I do think it’s inappropriate, and reading this thread i am clearing not alone.