I'm 36 with a dh and two children. Ds is 4 and has SEN (adhd and odd). Dd is 20 months. I returned to work a year ago. We've had a difficult few years with traumatic pregnancies and births, some family moving away, mental health problems, my own diagnosis of adhd, moved house, plus obviously the changes that covid brought a few years ago. Through all of that though, I've still tried hard to keep my friendships going but my friendship circle has vastly changed and I'm now feeling on the edge things.
One of my friends gradually stopped messaging me. I tried to arrange meeting up with her but she was always too busy. I wasn't pushy or persistent.
Another friend always used to invite me to play dates with mutual friends and I would reciprocate. Then I noticed photos appear on fb where they had all met up without inviting me. That happened several times.
A lovely friend I made after my son was born moved to the other side of the country.
Another friend had an affair and left her husband and since then she hasn't wanted to stay in contact. This one was particularly sad because myself, dh, this friend and her ex husband all used to hang out a lot.
Another friend is very up and down as she has severe mental health problems which I totally appreciate. However she does tend to get in touch more when things are tough for her.
My closest friend has recently had her first baby and I can already tell that becoming a mum has changed things. She's a very different mum to me. Very organised, feeding/sleeping schedules. She's taken to motherhood like a duck to water with never a complaint. I've had very different experiences and I feel like the differences are more obvious between us. Although this could be my insecurities.
I know that people's lives change and maybe friends do come and go but I can't help but feel like it's me! As there have been many changes in the last few years.
My son's adhd and odd is very difficult at times but he's also an absolute sweetheart. Just extremely lively and defiant. I wouldn't say my friends have ever experienced seeing his challenging behaviour but of course I'm worried that we might be outed as we have a difficult child. I would love to find new friends. Maybe orher parents who have children with SEN where there can be solidarity and no judgement.
My son starts school in September and I'm anxious about the other parents but equally I'm hoping that I might find some new friends too as well as my son.
Has anyone else had shifts in friendships during their 30s? Aibu to think it's me or just unfortunate?