Newborn and ex contact

7 replies

lilac221 · 16/04/2023 10:57

Our baby is a month old. Ex has seen baby three times since birth, due to being busy and away with work according to him.

I haven't prevented contact at all and stay flexible and open and have told him to let me know if he would like to see baby again and we will arrange.

My question is- ex texts daily and asks for updates and photos of baby, which is nice in one way. However I'm feeling more that it is intrusive on my life and that these updates benefit no one but my ex. The only benefit to our baby would be ex actually spending time with them.

Baby is a month old and I feel like these daily updates can't carry on indefinitely.

WIBU to tell ex this?

OP posts:

mainsfed · 16/04/2023 11:26

YANBU at all.

Stop responding and only send an update when you want to.

It sounds like he wants pictures to send to friends and family so he looks like Disney dad.

Prioritise your new born baby, not this manchild.

SaltanVinegar · 16/04/2023 11:50

YANBU. He can take his own photos when he is there to see his child. If I was being generous I’d send a couple per week, certainly not daily. How much can you update about an infant each day?!

Original poster

lilac221 · 16/04/2023 12:59

Exactly, there is very little I can update daily.

When I slowed down a bit with photos after maybe the first week of baby being born, he asked me why I was sending less and that I needed to communicate better with him...

He said that he wants photos as he cares about baby and made me feel like the bad one.

OP posts:

mainsfed · 16/04/2023 13:03

@lilac221 you need to start as you mean to go on and set boundaries now.

Him telling you need to communicate better is a red flag for controlling behaviour, even as an ex.

What’s contact like he when he comes to see the baby?

Ffsmakeitstop · 16/04/2023 13:03

What a loser he is. As a pp suggested he can take photos when he visits child.
Ignore his gaslighting nonsense.

Original poster

lilac221 · 16/04/2023 16:44

Thanks all.

I wrote a diplomatic message when he's messaged this afternoon asking after baby, he took it well to be fair and said he would respect my boundaries.

Now I feel a little guilty but at the same time it can't carry on and he's welcome to come and visit baby if he wants to.

OP posts:

EasterBreak · 16/04/2023 16:51

Absolute loser. If he cared about his baby he would see her. Stop with the photos he can take his own.

Flip