To be worried about a reference?

[YippedyDooFar]

I've worked in my current role for 18 months. I've been offered a new role subject to references.

I'm leaving as it is a toxic workplace with high staff turnover. However, my senior manager has form for bullying and unpleasant behaviour. She liked me until now, but is likely to react badly to resignation.

I know her reference has to be factual, but certain questions are subjective, ie 'would you employ this person again?'. She could say 'no'? Which would raise alarm bells with a potential new employer?

On 'how could employee develop?'type questions she could say 'employee made some mistakes in work' etc which is factually correct and surely could be applied to anyone, as although I have a very positive recent work appraisal, everyone makes some small mistakes?

She has form for making peoples lives very difficult (unmanageable workload, threatening disciplinaries etc) but until now I've had no problems with her. I just suspect there may be a sting in the tail, a sly telephone reference or non-committal/poor written reference which could hinder me now or in the future.

Aibu and what can I do?

Most references I have had have been from HR departments and very basic, can you just get one from HR, that is the most usual type nowadays. Some employers won't allow references from managers anyway.

just give your HR dept details.

all references I have had only states what dates i worked there and my sickness record I believe.

I wouldn’t worry too much.

I've had reference forms asking detailed questions and apart from my personal referees, all companies just give factual information.

This is because they don't want the he sued for post employment discrimination.

In fact the last couple of references I asked for asked me what information they were allowed to hand over.

I asked my siblings who work in finance about their detailed references and they have told me they see them before they are sent.

I actually worked for one of the first companies who was sued by an executive for providing him with a poor reference, plus I met someone who sued a large organisation for a poor telephone reference. Both cases were settled.

A lot of companies do not allow personal references from managers exactly because of the reasons you state in your OP. They don't want to be sued because some manager didn't want you to resign.

Is there anyone else you could provide details of for a reference?

Could you appease her when you say your leaving by thanking her for her support in building your confidence/ skill/ equipping you to be ready for this next role so she feels valued and therefore more likely to give positive reference? You could ask her to provide a copy to you too if that would help so that you know what she is saying/ can discuss with future employer