Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have toddler an extra day in nursery for the rest of my pregnancy?

27 replies

Howmanymiles · 15/04/2023 05:00

I’m 30 weeks pregnant, due to start maternity leave in 7 weeks. In all honesty I’m struggling. I’m due back at work Monday after the Easter holidays and am dreading it. I work three days a week which is when toddler is in nursery.

Am considering putting the toddler in for an extra day. This isn’t a work day but just to allow me a chance to recharge my batteries a bit. I’m finding my back and legs are very painful and so I’m sore and tired a lot of the time and some of this will be down to lifting toddler and also the sheer energy it takes to look after him!

I feel a bit mean though as the whole point of the days off was to spend with him. What do people think?

OP posts:
sarahsarahsara · 15/04/2023 05:14

YANBU. Pregnancy is hard, it's ok to have time to rest and put your health first.

Tamuchly · 15/04/2023 05:18

Happy Mummy = Happy Toddler, if you think it’s what you need and you can afford it then go for it. However there is no shame involved in just lounging on the sofa with toddler too - fill a box with toys they haven’t seen for a while and let them sort it out while you relax. Get them used to you taking things a bit slower as they will need to get used to that when the new baby arrives anyway.

FTMbg · 15/04/2023 05:18

Agree, and if you've got that opportunity to get rest now I'd take it as I imagine it will be harder to get rest once your baby is here.

Emmmie · 15/04/2023 05:19

OP you deserve a break! Of course you are not being unreasonable.

Ibouncetothebeat · 15/04/2023 05:20

Do what you need to do. If you were a man no one would bay an eye lid at your child being in nursery if you had a day off.
we can only be talking about an extra 7-10 days right? Go and relax!

Flittingaboutagain · 15/04/2023 05:20

I got a mother's help one day a week to give me extra support in the last six weeks of pregnancy. Is that an option? It means you still get to be with your toddler but someone else can do the physical running around whilst you do what you can manage.

Teapleasemilknosugar · 15/04/2023 05:42

I was hoping to do this with my toddler, too. Or at least for the odd ad-hoc day as needed. Alas, nursery is full to capacity so they couldn't even take the toddler for one extra day. I'm due this weekend and totally wiped. Needless to say, TV time has massively increased so we (I) can sit and just cuddle to get a bit of rest.

If you can, do it and don't feel guilty.

Hesma · 15/04/2023 06:42

Do it! He’ll be happy + you’ll feel better =no brainer

Beaniesmumsie · 15/04/2023 06:45

Do it. Mine was in full time when I took a few weeks off before due date. You’ll be thankful that toddler is in nursery when the new baby comes

RedRobin100 · 15/04/2023 06:50

Absolutely! Toddlers are harrrrrrrrd!
can you keep it up after baby here too? You’ll definitely appreciate it then as well - especially for the first few months when newborns are all consuming,

PurBal · 15/04/2023 06:56

I’ve been signed off since my second trimester. I feel terrible that DS is at nursery when I “could” look after him. But I’m exhausted and sore. He’s in 3 days and will stay 2 days once I’m on maternity leave.

HAF1119 · 15/04/2023 07:09

Do it! I do a half day on a Friday and have little one full day nursery (gives me a potential 3 hours of me time), I'm not even pregnant lol. Occasionally I get him early when I finish but most the time I find by the time I have a bath/concentrate on myself for a short while the time is gone, but it makes a massive difference to my mental well-being since I started doing it so the guilt has gone

HollyBollyBooBoo · 15/04/2023 07:17

Do it! You have to put yourself first and go into the newborn phase as healthy as possible.

WomensLandArmy · 15/04/2023 07:46

It's a yes from me. Pregnancy + toddler is the pits. You need the rest and he'll enjoy the play and attention. Well done for thinking practically.

Xjshdvf · 15/04/2023 07:49

If I could have done something like that I would have; pregnancy with a toddler is really hard work! When I was pregnant with a toddler I read a thread on here saying it was harder to be pregnant with a toddler than have a newborn and toddler and thought that can’t be right but actually it was true as the sheer physical exhaustion of pregnancy is harder than the sleep deprivation of a newborn and people can help more

AnaBananas · 15/04/2023 07:50

Yep, do it. You deserve a break. I am on maternity leave with my four week old and I am keeping my two year old in nursery one day a week for a bit of a break.

flipflop00 · 15/04/2023 07:56

I upped DS hours once I got to my third trimester, I was working part time and had a couple of mornings each week to relax. It was bliss!

FeeFiFoFumble · 15/04/2023 07:59

I'm a SAHM and still increased my son's hours towards the end of pregnancy :) I figured once baby is here the older one would have way more fun at nursery than at home with a newborn. He still didn't go anywhere near full time, but it was definitely worth it! Zero regrets

Laidbackegg · 15/04/2023 08:05

Nursery is early years education so it's beneficial for the toddler, so no need to feel any guilt about it. I'm a sahm and I had my older one in nursery 3 days to give them a structured day and socialisation, and that continued throughout pregnancy and mat leave.

Crunchymum · 15/04/2023 08:06

I'd do the extra day for the next 7 weeks. Then drop back down to the usual days (assuming you are keeping DC1 in nursery whilst you are on ML)

Teachingteacher · 15/04/2023 08:07

Not unreasonable at all. I’m a teacher and have all school holidays with my DS aged 4 (school starts at 2.5 years in the country where I live).

When last summer hols started I was 34 weeks pregnant with DD, and I quickly realised that I couldn’t cope. My parents flew in to help as much as they could, but they still work so I ended up enrolling DS in a (very expensive!!) swimming day camp. He loved it and I was able to rest during the last few weeks of my pregnancy.

Never apologise for needing to rest during your last trimester. In ancient societies women did NOTHING during these last weeks. As modern working women, we have such a large burden on us during pregnancy, and people act as if you can just live your life as normal until 38 weeks or whenever your maternity leave starts.

Good luck with the birth OP!!

roarfeckingroarr · 15/04/2023 08:11

YANBU!

When I was pregnant and working four days a week, my favourite day (the one spent with DC1) became an endurance test near the end, I was just so so tired. He's still at nursery 3 days PW now I'm on mat leave with a 10 week old and it's just now that I'm starting to enjoy the days im on my own with both.

Original poster
Howmanymiles · 15/04/2023 08:20

Ah thanks so much. I’m really hoping they’ll have room as it’s a Friday and I think that’s their quietest day. He’s actually booked in five days for weeks 39 and 40 of the pregnancy anyway (I’ll be having an elective section) so it’s just between now and then!

OP posts:
Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 15/04/2023 08:26

If it's doable financially and your dc enjoys nursery there's no reason why not. Good luck

AnaBananas · 15/04/2023 08:28

Howmanymiles · 15/04/2023 08:20

Ah thanks so much. I’m really hoping they’ll have room as it’s a Friday and I think that’s their quietest day. He’s actually booked in five days for weeks 39 and 40 of the pregnancy anyway (I’ll be having an elective section) so it’s just between now and then!

They usually factor in spaces to ratios. So even if it is a quiet day, and say they have one member of staff to four children, they may not allow a fifth child in the room that day as it means having to arrange for an additional member of staff that day. Best to check as soon as possible.