Ridiculous argument with DH

[Dia12]

My mother has come to stay for about a week or so. She has been suffering with really bad leg cramps lately. A relative has recommended she see a physiotherapist that they have had treatment from, who is happens to be visiting our city and so will make a house visit to see my DM.

As she's with us, he'll be coming to our house. My DM made these plans without thinking it would be an issue. My DH however decided to have a massive chip on his shoulder about this and proceeded to question (which is his right to) and then lecture me (this is the bit I'm annoyed at) about how this guy mustn't be allowed into any other part of the house. He said he doesn't know anything about this person and he shouldn't be allowed in.
It's not helped by the fact that we don't know the details - my DM just blindly follows the recommendations from her brother. We don't even know if this person is an actual physiotherapist or some witch doctor!!!

But it still felt really patronising and almost as if I'm irresponsible and unable to safeguard his house/possessions. I understand and agree with DH's fundamental concerns (not that he actually mentioned any worry about my physical safety, more so about his house) so have no issues with this. It was the way he was talking to me that made me feel like an idiot living in HIS house. Yes, it's annoying my elderly DM didn't give me a full CV of the person coming, but really, should we be so militant about this?
Am I wrong to have fallen out over this?

No, we wouldnt fall out over this, we would both raise eyebrows if my DM invited a stranger into our home though.

I think it is a bit bizarre that your mum is staying for a week at your house and she invites a person to come and give her treatment - why didn;t she wait until she got home ? I agree with your husband, she has invited someone you know nothing about (and neither does your Mum it seems) to come into your home without asking you - how rude. Also why on earth doesn't she go to her GP, instead of some random her relative has recommended ? Cramps can be caused by all sorts of things, she may well be lacking something in her diet (low potassium can cause cramps), and all the physio in the world won't help that situation.

I don't know if your Dh was patronising or not, but I can well imagine he was annoyed by your mother's ridiculous behaviour. Get her to set up with this person when she gets home if she's determined to go that route rather than find out why she's getting cramps.

Your DH is quite rightly letting you know that your DM's actions in your home are your responsibility just as his family are his responsibility.

We weren't there so can't really comment on the nature of his delivery. The fact that you think this argument and therefore your husband is being ridiculous is probably a bit telling on how you have reacted to his legitimate concerns here.

You need to get your mum to change her plans given that she will be back at her own home soon or provide the right amount of info about this person to you and your DH to make sure you are happy to have this person in your home.

How very odd. I can’t see the issue with this, is your husband always so paranoid ?

Both myself and my DH would be fine with either of our mums doing this. Would probably do a bit of research on the person though and make sure DH or I are home for the appt

What?

Your mum is in pain and instead of moaning she's organised some treatment. What has he done as a good son in law and host? Helped? Or moaned.

You've missed the point I was making.

I've already said I agree with his concerns. I was upset at being made to feel irresponsible and as if it wasn't my home too.
DH did say in the end this physio could come but only into one room. Again fine with me. I was annoyed at being told this instruction as that's what I'd normally do anyway.
It's not like I let random people take a tour around the house anyway!

Also, I find it ridiculous that we have fallen out over this, because it shouldn't be an issue. Perhaps I shouldn't have taken offence at all. Only at the time, it just very much sounded it like it was his house and not mine.

Only at the time, it just very much sounded it like it was his house and not mine.

Perhaps to him it sounded as if your Mum thought it was her house.

That's still no reason to speak to me in that way.

Is he always so pompous?

Very weird. I wouldn’t even think twice about helping my mother or MIL. Your DH sounds very unreasonable and jealous

It's just a physio visit, I can't see why this is such a big deal. Sounds like this is a small part of a bigger issue?

Blimey, what a furore about nothing

Has your mum looked at taking magnesium? It’s been brilliant for both me and my mother.