I'm not quite sure how to start this accept that I'm trying to work out if I am being unreasonable by my actions.
I am divorced and in my 50's and due to both living in the area and working in various pubs etc I know a lot of people. I have never really had close female friends and I'm fine with that. Generally - I am quite happy in my own company and actually have to talk myself into going out. I used to treat working behind the bar as my social life but having had counselling during my divorce, it was pointed out to me that this was an unhealthy social life. I'm not a big drinker - a pint a week generally - and I'm not really comfortable as a customer in a pub. I don't relax and rarely drink much. I have a very tight budget which dictates how much socialising I do and I don't expect other people to buy me drinks when I can't afford to buy drinks for them.
Anyway the point of me posting is because someone I have been friends with for a while has suddenly got really angry and unpleasant towards me. I had been 'stepping' away from this friendship for about 18 months due to a variety of things but also mainly due to money and they only go to the pub. I have suggested they come here but each time has left after half an hour!
Last year there was an incident at the pub she drinks at where someone had a go at me and when I tried to leave the person got very abusive and my friend intervened. It then got very out of hand and the police were called.
I was really shaken by this, normally if I had been working I would have had no problem dealing with it. It made me realise that I am not very good at being a customer!
Due to this incident I actually stopped going out for a while and when I did go again I went to a place I could walk to and knew someone would walk me home if I was worried. It is only 5 mins.
The whole incident made me reassess my life and I stepped back from a lot of people that I felt weren't actual friends more associates.
So this friend has got really angry about it. I have bumped into her a couple of times and each time she has been more angry. I have explained that I have been a bit of a hermit and about my lack of money.
When I find situations overwhelming - I often step back to reassess. She knows this but is being really pushy and unpleasant and the more she does it the less I want to do with her.
In the past I have stepped back from friendships to re set boundaries because I tend to be a people pleaser to my detriment.
I don't think I am being unreasonable but after last weekend when she laid into me in front of lots of people I am now doubting how I have dealt with it.