I find it difficult to form friendships, autism?

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I've always felt really self conscious when talking to people. Invisible to family (there are 10 of us) and regulating emotions can be hard.

When I talk to people I find it hard to regulate getting what I want and need. Often I'll cry if I'm not getting my own way/feel the other person isn't listening to me.

Could I be autistic or just had an environment that wasn't validating?

I don't form friendships as I think no one likes me as I don't like myself.

Just bumping for you op

Thanks

Invisible in life, invisible on MumsNet lol

You’re not invisible.
I think more context is needed, in what environments have you tried to make friends and it hasn’t happened? College, work, in the shops? Some environments are easier to make friends than others and I think sometimes people struggle to build friendships if their life doesn’t naturally put them in situations where they’re easily made. I’ve fallen into friendships more than made them, if that makes sense. Through work I’m forced to spend time with people, then as time goes on I’ve gravitated more to people that I share interests with or have a similar sense of humour.

Crying if you don’t get your own way or feel listened to I’m not so sure about but again we need more context. If you’re in a room with a few family members and feel that your input into conversation is being spoken over constantly for example, I can see why over time that would get upsetting. When you say crying when you don’t get your own way, can you provide an example?

Have you tried talking to a gp, with your concerns regarding autism? They might be able to refer you to a counsellor that might help you to talk things through?

I think you should probably see a professional about this. But yes agree with pp, hard to tell without context

I think there’s a lot more information needed before strangers can make even the most armchair of armchair diagnoses. I mean, the two options, autism or a nonvalidating childhood environment, seem a bit arbitrary.

I can make 'friends' in a superficial way. Very few endure. I end up making all the effort, and eventually, I realise they aren't that bothered. My 2 enduring friendships are 25yrs plus , we met when our DC were young, and they also seem to have the same issues. We don't meet up even on a monthly basis, messaging instead. I live 30 miles away from them. They don't know each other, although they live in the same town.
It has been suggested by others work related that I could be ND. I'm in my mid 50s, I don't know if it would be possible or beneficial to persue it.

You wouldn't get a diagnosis just because you have difficulty making friends.

Hi OP! You could look at psychcentral.com, their tests were recommended by a therapist as a first port of call. It is a lengthy process getting a diagnosis but in the meantime or as an alternative you might find it helpful looking up social skill courses or tips for your people with autism which could help you identify any blind spots in your social skills that could be underlying your friendship issues? Otherwise it could of course simply be bad luck with your social environments in which case a way forward would be to go meet people on the basis of your interests and see what happens! X

You could be autistic but the issue above is due to your MH not your neurotype. There are lots of autistics, including myself, who find forming friendships easy. The difference is autistic women tend to have fewer, closer friendships than lots of superficial ones.