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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Colleague seems to be in an abusive relationship, not sure how to support

3 replies

Bleurghhhhhh · 13/04/2023 23:27

I don't know her that well and don't want to seem nosey. However I've seen bruise marks on her neck and I overheard another colleague talking about them too.
A couple of colleagues who know her well were discussing what a horrible guy he is.

I've heard her on the phone a few times at work and the conversations are so incredibly toxic, and she's literally shrieked in rage threatening him with the police.

She's got young children too. I have no idea if she's getting any support elsewhere or if it's my place too.

I just feel bad if she's in a situation like that, not sure if I should quietly approach her and say I've heard the phone calls , could I do anything to help?

Apparently other colleagues asked her about the bruises but she lied about it.

OP posts:
AdeIe · 14/04/2023 08:38

If you feel like you get along well enough, I'd take her to one side and say you've heard the phone calls and you're worried about her and that if she ever wants to talk you're always there.

Laiste · 14/04/2023 08:45

I hesitate to say this but are you sure they're not love bites? What are the bruises like?

I agree it sounds as if the relationship isn't good at all.

Have you got an HR dept at work you could approach with your concerns? Other than that all you can do really is get to know her a bit, chat, and ask her if she's ok. If she will talk about him you can get a picture of her home life and see if she's got friends/family she can turn to? Go from there?

Baabaa75 · 14/04/2023 08:47

Do you have a HR team you could talk to in confidence? They should have a better idea how/if it should be tackled 💐

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